At home reception after a destination wedding

I think the popular opinion on WW is that if they're not invited to your actual wedding, than it's gift-grabby and rude to hold a "wedding reception" when you return. It's almost as if you're saying, you weren't good enough for us to invite to our actual wedding, but come give us money now that we're back.

I would say keep it low key and just invite people over like any other normal party, but I wouldn't advertise this as a wedding celebration or reception and I wouldn't wear my dress, cut a cake, etc. Maybe just a luau themed BBQ and invite people over to have a good time with no expectations on gifts.

I did this in August after my May wedding on Maui. We had a cake (because my dad said its not a party without cake) and catered food/booze but other than that nothing special. We had pictures and dressed up a little bit but nothing too formal. No gifts were expected but we did get some and the general atmosphere was more of a get together than wedding reception so it was nice and relaxing.

Our good friends had a destination wedding with their families and hosted a reception when they got home. They had a head table with their "would-be" bridal party (I guess? They had a head table with some of their close friends). The bride wore her wedding dress, they had a cake, catered food, etc. It was a reception! They just made an entrance and then the party started. The groom sang a song for the bride, and it was adorable.

This is not the case if she is married away - this is more for someone who has a wedding one day and wants to have the reception a few days later in the same place. In that situation it doesn't make sense. It's perfectly acceptable to want to celebrate with those who couldn't be there on your special day because of location. Where it is not a wedding reception, I would eliminate the wedding dress and cake cutting. You could also eliminate a DJ and sub in a playlist on your phone if you're comfortable with that sort of thing. I wouldn't have a bridal party as you are no longer a bride. All in all, just think of any other party you would throw and do what works.

I have been to multiple receptions where I wasn't invited to the destination wedding. Typically at the ones I've been to, they're semi-formal (no jeans) and at a the same type of venue as a typical reception (country club, rental hall, etc.). At the ones I've been to, the wedding party wore their outfits but they didn't do a cake cutting or any sort of vow exchange/"renewal." Just celebrated with dinner and/or apps and drinks. Typically it's a shorter thing - like 6-10, drinks and dancing.

Make sure your wedding website or somewhere has your actual wedding date. Some people like to get stuff personalized with your names and the date, so they may accidentally get something engraved or otherwise marked with the wrong date if they don't realize that the celebration date isn't your wedding date. (I reached out to a cousin, who had a small private destination wedding and reception at home later, to confirm which one he and his wife would think of as their anniversary so that I could get them something personalized this way.)

Having an at home reception after a destination wedding is perfectly fine. Wear your dress if you want. Have a cake. Hire a DJ (please don't do karaoke, it's usually cringe worthy). Have a first dance. Continue the luau theme. That will make your wedding so distinct from others. Think of fun ways to do this. A fun signature drink like a mai tai. Maybe a coconut layer on the cake. Fun leis for the guests. Make it fun and everyone will rave about your reception. Any favor should be edible otherwise they tend to get left behind.

Sounds like a lot of things have already been covered...wearing the dress or not it up to you, personally I'd jump at a legit excuse to wear mine more than once!

We are getting married in November in the Florida Keys with a max guest list of 40 of our family members and closest friends (I am one of 6 kids, he is one of 4 so we have large families to start)... we will then be coming home and having a traditional reception in February of 2019 where we will leave directly for our honeymoon after. We wish everyone could come from Ohio and all of the US for our wedding, but it's not possible and we wanted a simple and intimate ceremony. Our reception we will probably dress up, not tux and wedding dress but maybe a simple ivory dress and and he will wear a shirt and tie. Probably no wedding cake, but cupcakes instead. Open bar, catered food and DJ or band... it's a party and we still want to enjoy our nuptials with all of our friends!

Advice wanted! I am doing a similar wedding- intimate ceremony/dinner in Chicago, and then a celebration back East a few weeks later. For the brides who have done this, did you have a bridal shower? I feel a little weird inviting people to a shower when they would not be invited to the actual ceremony. If you can let me know how you navigated this, that would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Thank you, this was well stated. I just want a gathering for my friends and family that couldn't or did make it to our wedding in Hawaii. My mom has said, we can state the invitation as meet and greet the newly weds, Alex and Amanda. Also indicating no gifts. Love your favors idea about something from Hawaii and a note about them all being in spirt and thank you for celebrating our marriage. I will have a video and photos of our ceremony in Hawaii as well. You should consider writing down some of your thoughts on paper or a book. Myself I would just like to have my small destination wedding in Hawaii and be done. However, I love my extended family and want them to feel a part of our marriage celebration. I am getting married in Hawaii in January and having this after party in the summer as I told my parents I would like it at a park setting (option to have indoors) or we have a beautiful lake home.

Thank you, Amanda

I am so glad to read that I am not the only one with these questions and concerns! We we going to do the whole big wedding at a beautiful venue, the bachelor and bachelorette parties (joint as this is our 2nd weddings each), bridal shower and the whole shebang, but it was just getting more and more expensive, then the drama start with people wanting what they wanted and not what we wanted. So, we decided to ditch that idea and are now having a DW in Dominican Republic in May with his best man and his gf and my maid of honor and her bf. This is saving so much money and stress and drama! We will have the ceremony live streamed for those that want to watch it and sending out announcements of when the ceremony will take place. However, our families would like to celebrate our marriage when we get back, so I have the same kind of questions! Do we have a reception or just like a BBQ party where we kind of dress up, but not the full wedding dress (which will be pretty much ruined with the ocean photos). Just do some cupcakes and potluck, backyard party with tables and chairs, maybe some speeches, but no matching bridesmaids dresses and so on...but do I still toss a bouquet considering I only have 2 women at the actual wedding and 2 men for my garter belt? Also, we are only having a symbolic ceremony in DR and will just sign our marriage license once we are back in the states. Do we still have a minister re-do our vows and all of that? That just seems redundant. We just didn't want to give all of our legal information to the Dominican Republic government, so trying to figure all that out as well. Any advice is more than welcome!