Assigned Seats or Let Them Choose

Assigned tables is way better for you and for them

For my sisters wedding that I'm helping with the planning of we are doing assigned tables. There is going to be around 120 people and do not want the headache of families getting split up.

I had open seating, but I only had around 65 guests and a ton of tables. We had a more laid back BBQ themed wedding so it worked well. We had people eating, people playing yard games, and people mingling so it wasn't like anyone was scrambling to find a seat. I think when you host a larger wedding it can be more important to plan out seating.

FH and I are totally leaving this headache to our parents. 🤦🏽‍♀️🧐We’ll have a sweetheart table though 🥰
Happy Planning 🍷

View Quoted Comment Out of all the logical reasons I've heard for assigned tables/ seats (saves time, saves headaches, less seats and tables needed etc etc) this is THE BEST and most down to earth answer. THANK YOU.

I think for smaller weddings, less than 50, is okay but that's a lot of people. I always felt like people want to be told what to do at weddings. Definitely do assigned seating. I know it can be a pain, but having 175 people wandering around figuring out where to sit will be a cluster fork.

View Quoted Comment Except for if you know your crowd and know your Great Aunt Doris would have a rad time sitting with anyone, anywhere. I fully expect that my 80 year old grandmother will be out there boogying with my fiancé’s frat brothers and that his 90 year old grandfather will have a blast hanging out with my book club girls.

Very grateful that our crowd is a laid back sort that doesn’t need to be herded. They’ll have a good time wherever they land, with whomever they meet. Not an uptight group in the least.

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Well, I didn't mean it against anyone for doing what they're doing, just saying I think that's a really good down to earth response! That's wonderful you have such a fun crowd!!

I get to deal with how X wants to sit by A and B, but B can't sit by C, but C wants to sit by A. X won't sit by Aunt Y, who won't sit by Aunt Z, and no one wants to sit by .... etc etc etc. I would just have everyone adult and choose their own seats, but I don't want to have extra tables, which cost extra money, and the venue needs assigned tables so they know how many entrees are served at each. LOL.

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I agree! I have so many other things to worry about than where someone wants to sit.

View Quoted Comment Oh that’s a pain! I have zero tolerance for that kind of stuff - I’m all like, grow TF up, people. LOL

We are right about 120 guests and I think we are going to do reserved tables. So our family, and our wedding party have assigned tables so they don't have to rush or worry but might just let everyone else seat themselves. We are also having an indoor/outdoor reception and I don't want people to be tied to a table but on the other hand I'm still toying with the idea of just assigning tables for everyone.

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The "need" comes from several factors that have been mentioned here by others. First, if you don't have assigned tables at least, then people will leave seats open, create their own separations, and then you'll need extra tables/chairs for those who don't want to walk up and take the one seat left at a table that is occupied with the other side of the family they don't know (for example). If this is our wedding, we cannot afford to have to pay for extra tables and chairs.

Next is the fact that it will take a LOT longer for guests to seat themselves, which can put the whole timeline out of whack, or result in some guests missing some of the events that are going on, such as bride/groom introductions, etc.

Finally, larger groups/families inevitably get separated. If the Jones family of 12 takes a bit longer to enter the reception venue, they may find that they can't all sit together, because the only 12 seats left are scattered single chairs throughout the venue. That's no good.

So, rather than "micromanaging" I believe assigning guests to particular tables is a great way to keep things organized, and keep guests happy, not frustrated.

View Quoted Comment Potato potatoh, I honestly don’t think any of our people would care where they sit. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Plus the venue we have seats way more than we will invite so I’m not anticipating a space crunch.

Some people are just too cool for assigned tables I guess 🙄 for those of us with regular peasant families, assigned tables makes everything easier. I've been to a wedding where I knew no one other than the bride and the friend I brought and had to sit with complete strangers. I'm good at making friends, but it was still uncomfortable.

View Quoted Comment I’m wondering how things would have been different for you with assigned tables - you wouldn’t have known anyone else either way, right? Not following your logic here... 🧐

View Quoted Comment Well i didn't get to sit with the one friend I brought so there's that.

We are not assigning tables because we have a large group and my family is very opinionated and will not listen lol. Plus that is one thing I won't have to worry about.

As a guest, I really really dislike open seating.

Our immediate family and elders will have reserved seats. Everyone else can sit wherever. I've been to several weddings where people don't even sit at the assigned tables. 150 seats, no reason why there should be a problem.

Okay im feeling slightly crazy after reading this but I have NEVER went to a wedding that has had assigned seating before, I didnt even know that was a thing! Have i lived under a rock?! Am I on earth?! Whattttt..

I enjoy reading everyones prons and cons on this topic because its honestly something ive never even thought or considered! I think there is very valid points and I can totally relate to feeling the anxiety of finding a spot to sit when you dont know a ton of people there. With that being said ive went to plenty of weddings and have lived to tell about all the times ive had to choose my own spot. To be honest after reading a couple comments i was thinking it would be annoying to have someone tell me where to sit especially since there is usually someone id live to mingle with over dinner i havent seen in awhile.I think you cant go wrong either way because its all gunna work out! good luck!