Assigned Seats or Let Them Choose

PLEASE assign tables. Having to seat myself gives me anxiety.

The CONS are: groups get split up, you need extra chairs and tables as people naturally leave space or only partially fill tables, people can end up in awkward seating situations (young friends with your old uncles, adults at the kids table etc)

PROS are people are able to be happily seated with people they are comfortable with , for truly minimal effort on your part.

I don’t know any cons of assigning tables and families not getting split up would be the largest pro. As well as saving money because if you don’t assign tables you’ll need to have at least 20% more tables/place settings/centerpieces etc. I would absolutely assign tables. We had a similar guest number and it took us around an hour if I remember correctly.

Defassign tables at the least. It could be chaos if you have a large group trying to sit together and they come in late.
Or if somebody decides they want to seat themself closest the the bride and groom when immediate family should be there.

Besides....they literally only have to sit in that seat for an hour to eat. Then they can mix and mingle to their hearts content.

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Same! Actual anxiety. It's so awkward being a guest that doesn't know a ton (or any) of the other guests so you just walk up to a table and are like "hey..." and sit down. UGH! And the big group thing. We have several large groups. My fiance's immediate family alone will be 16+ people so it would be awkward splitting them up. I feel like the seating chart sets the tone for the entire wedding, and decides if people have fun or not.

I highly, highly recommend assigned tables.

In general, there are not enough benefits to the 'let them choose' to make that a comfortable decision. You end up with:

- friends/company separated

- drama-infused people stuck at the same tables

- general confusion and anxiety

- people sitting where you usually want bridal party and/or direct kin

Once we made our initial guest list, I drafted a table chart based on 'everyone being there.' That saved me the concern later on, since all I had to do was edit.

We are letting everyone seat themselves. We aren't having a very large group and don't feel the need to tell adults where they are supposed to sit. Find a chair, insert butt. Very simple

The only time I would say open seating would be fine would be a small wedding with like under 50 people. Assigning tables will be the easiest. You don’t need to assign actual spots at the table as I’m sure a group of 8-10 people can figure that out on their own

I am definitely assigning tables. The last wedding I attended was open seating and it was a complete mess. It may be a little more work on my part to assign tables but I think it makes guests' lives easier (assuming you sit them with people they know or people they may have something in common with). As a guest, I prefer assigned tables. 175 guests is a lot of people to roam around aimlessly looking for empty seats.

Assign tables. If you REALLY don't want to, have about 20% more setting than guests attending, so that groups are less likely to be split up. It'll end up looking like a ton of people were no shows and cost you more money though.

Please assign your guests tables. It will save a very large headache.

I can't even imagine my reception entrance being ignored as everyone is too busy trying to find seats to pay attention. What a nightmare.

View Quoted Comment The only wedding I ever went to with open seating I knew ONLY the bride (and her immediate family, but I hadn’t seen them in probably 10 years to the point where her mother literally did not know who I was an introduced herself to me), her husband, and our other friend who was a bridesmaid (and her fiancé). They had a table set aside for the bridal party and SOs, then a free for all for everyone else. I walked in and froze , like head spinning panicking trying to figure out why I traveled for this hah. It was an actual nightmare.

That large groups thing brings up another note! I had a group of 28 cousins and spouses to seat (all cousins with eachother [big Irish catholic family haha]), obviously I had to divide them among tables which was my biggest challenge, BUT by doing table assignments, I was able to arrange it so that all their tables were right next to eachother, so they could still easily mingle amongst the group!

I've been totally set on doing open seating. There's no one that needs to be separated from anyone else. I've planned for extra tables (with extra centerpieces), extra chairs and plenty of space to move around. I don't care if tables are half empty. Dinner is stations, and if people want to hang out by the Chinese station and eat dumplings all night and never come back to their seat, that's fine with me.

I only started thinking about maybe doing table assignments when my bridesmaid asked if her table would be near mine. I've only got one bridesmaid who isn't family, and I was going to let her and her husband sit with our other college friends, which she is very happy about. But making sure that table is near the sweetheart table? Ugh, not sure there's a way to do it without assignments.

Not sure that helps you, since we're still undecided too. Just a consideration I had.

Definitely assign seats for that many guests. Open seating is a disaster.

We're doing open seating, with a reserved table for older folks and immediate family. We have so many guests from out of town that will want to mingle, and will probably move seats throughout the night. We're having roughly 150 guests with a buffet so it works well for us. Plus, it gives the chance for both families to meet. That's just how it works for us. We've thought of assigned seating, but my parents came from families with up to 13 siblings, so it's easier to let people chose where to sit.

We have been to so many weddings where we had to seat ourselves and everyone just stands around wondering where to sit. We went to one wedding where we had a specific assigned seat but ended up moving around the table to be with other people. At my cousin's wedding, she assigned tables but not seats so we knew where to go but we had the freedom to sit where we wanted. We're going to go with that option for our wedding.

I think assigning seats/tables is best.
My wedding planner and I decided that we are going to make a seating chart and have it out front. This way everyone knows which table they are assigned to. They can choose to sit wherever they want on THAT table.
It saves us the money of ordering/making placement cards that way as well.

Assigned seats! Always!

View Quoted Comment Roughly the same situation for us. Buffet, 150 guests.

I don’t understand the “need” for telling adults where to sit. There is no drama with our crew.

Will be a laid back celebration and a hell of a kickass party. Folks can mingle and move as they see fit. I have zero need to micromanage this.

View Quoted Comment It’s not really about micromanaging. It’s about making sure Great Aunt Doris doesn’t have to sit with your college friends right near the DJ simply because she took her time getting into the reception.

View Quoted Comment LOL I literally had a Great Aunt Doris (RIP) who was the most amazing lady, she would have a blast in that scenario.

That’s our crowd’s vibe, actually. None of whom would be offended, anxious, or upset, to sit with someone they don’t know or in any particular location.

Cool peeps. 😎