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Expert October 2019

Assigned seating/tables

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Kierstin, on July 21, 2019 at 5:22 PM

My fiancé is driving me insane over this. He refuses to let me do assigned seating. I asked if we can compromise for assigned tables to make it easier for when people get seated before we enter the room. He says it’s pointless because everyone is an adult and can “figure it out”. I tell him if people linger too long in the bar talking before taking a seat then some people may not get to sit with who they came with for the event. He just keeps saying they will figure it out. 🙄 it’s seriously starting to irritate me. Even our venue said it would be best if we did it. He said he not change his mind on this and won’t even try to compromise with me.

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22 Comments

Beginner December 2020
Lana · on July 21, 2019 at 7:43 PM
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Do you have a DOC or planner? I'd let them tell you FH that assigning the seating is the best way to go or required from the venue.
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on July 22, 2019 at 10:54 AM
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Of all the things to dig his heels in about, it's this one?? I get the impression that this is his way of getting "involved" in wedding planning since he feels excluded about all the other aspects. It's kind of immature and shortsighted of him. Maybe he'd be more willing to budge if he had a more substantive project of his own. This may be a sign of communication issues, if you feel you've asked for his opinion on everything and he feels he has no say. Maybe he wants to be the one in charge and asking your opinion, but if he acts like this for seating charts, maybe he shouldn't take charge in any aspect of wedding planning. Sorry to be so negative, but this really blows me away. Table assignments vs open seating should not be such a big battle. Wedding colors, decor, food selection, budget-- that kind of issue is worth standing your ground on.
Ask him what other aspects of the wedding he likes or dislikes, what he'd like to see changed. There is only so much you can do, however. He's not giving you any logical answers to why he won't at least do assigned tables. He has shut down his willingness to hear you out and negotiate.
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