Assigned seating/tables

Refuses to "let" you? If that's how he worded it i'd be very upset. It is your wedding to. I can't imagine what his issue with this could possibly be. It seems like such a minor thing. For our wedding it's not happening because it's a really casual one, but if you have a bigger affair it's best to do that so you don't end up with empty tables. Your guests shouldn't have to figure anything out. They are there to support you on your wedding day. I would try and talk to him about what his issue with it really is. I'm not down on him I swear. I just don't think most men get all of what goes into wedding planning. I know my FH sure doesn't

Tell him that if you don't assign tables you'll need to provide 20% more tables, chairs, centerpieces, place settings, etc. Maybe the financial aspect will help him understand.

I'm not sure why he cares. By no means would my FH enjoy spending hours deciding who sits where, but he doesn't care if I do.

Maybe he thinks it will take up too much time? Did you offer to do it yourself?

View Quoted Comment He keeps saying I haven’t included him in anything when I have literally shown him everything in the planning process. He says he hasn’t gotten a say in anything. He says it’s been all me and my mom doing the planning. I have seriously asked his opinion on practically everything. Sometimes I wish he was one of those men that just say “let me know what to wear and when to be there.” It’s seriously frustrating. I’ve had this conversation with him now 3 times and it’s the same argument with him. I don’t understand why he is pushing back on this so hard.

Oh absolutely need to do assigned tables at the least. Because not assigning tables it just makes it longer for people to find a seat and people won't want to just sit in filler spots they want to sit with people they know or the party they came with. Also, I know some people don't even follow it sometimes but a majority of people do follow table assignments at least

View Quoted Comment I have told him I will take care of that. I told him if you want anyone in particular at a table together let me know and I’ll figure it out. He still doesn’t like it. I don’t know why he cares so much about everything in the planning.

View Quoted Comment Maybe I’ll try to tell him this part but I still don’t think it will go over any differently.

View Quoted Comment I’ve said this as well and he still sticks to what he says that “people are adults. They can figure it out.” It aggravates me so much.. 😒 I told him we don’t have to do assigned seating but I would like to compromise and do assigned tables. Nope just shuts me down saying he won’t change his mind..

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It seems like you've gotten some solid advice from all of the previous commenters. I'm not sure there's anything else we can advise you to do, you know your FH better than we do. The fact that he's so unwilling to compromise would be a big red flag for me.

Do assigned tables anyway and just don't tell him. Have your mother order the stuff for it and he won't know because he's not doing anything useful anyway.

If he doesn't want assigned tables, and want to be involved, then he can waste everyone's dinner time arranging who can sit where. Like other have said, having free seating leads to a free for all.

I was at a wedding with free seating and it was the worst! Guests were taking chairs to make tables of 13 instead of 10, or there were only 4 people at a table, and I'm pretty sure someone ate standing up lol.

View Quoted Comment He can compromise on just about anything else. He just keeps saying I haven’t involved him in the planning which I don’t know why he says that. We agreed on the venue, the food, the cake design I agreed to, we agreed on the flavors, on save the dates, invites, candy bar. Etc. so I don’t know why he’s so hell bent on no assigned anything.

View Quoted Comment No kidding. I am half tempted to email the venue to tell us we have to have assigned tables at the minimum so it is easier for any staff or something. So next time we bring it up st the venue they can say something. It’s just becoming a hassle with some of the other stuff we are planning that relates to the assigned seating/tables. Like people that need special meals, bridal party etc.

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I was wondering that too when I read your post. My FH hasn't asked for much, but when he does he INSISTS on it. We don't go to church but he HAD to have a church wedding. I got my way on that because of the cost, but then it HAD to be a "real" minister so I found one. Mostly though it's been me doing everything and it can be frustrating too. If you're trying to get his input and least you're making the effort to include him in it.

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We're doing assigned tables for several reasons and food allergies is one of them. One of my bridesmaid's husbands is allergic to a component in our cake, FMIL and FBIL have seafood allergies and their meals need to be cooked separately from the rest of the buffet. Having them at assigned tables, I can point them out to the staff so they know who to serve what at dinner.

So I generally hate the idea of assigned tables. It's basically unheard of here. We're doing it tho. As we are inviting the maximum number of people our venue can hold. If we had gotten the first place we chose, we would have double the seating and it would have been a free for all.


But we are doing a buffet, not a plated dinner.


TBH, I've given my fiance several choices in our planning. But I've also done a lot of this or this. And narrowed things down to the two options. And when he gave me other options, I gave him the pricetag of those options.

View Quoted Comment I have someone in the bridal party that has celiacs disease so she’s gluten free and vegetarian. My mom is highly allergic to mushrooms. And there’s another person who has celiacs. So it would be nice to have some sort or organization.

View Quoted Comment Yes I do involve him but somehow he thinks I haven’t. He wanted his uncle to officiate which I was okay with until I went to a wedding on his side of the family that the uncle officiated and he talks a lot about god and all that which I am uncomfortable with having an overly religious ceremony. So I asked him if his uncle would tone it down. He said no. so I said I don’t want him to officiate then. He was understanding with that but I could tell it bothered him. Neither of us are really religious people either though.

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It definitely sounds like you're doing your best to include him. I think a lot of grooms say they don't want to be involved, but they kinda want to have some input. I know my guy isn't thrilled about having purple as our main color, so i'm including some black touches for him. I didn't want an overly religious ceremony either, but for some reason he just had to have a minister. I do like the guy we picked, found him here on WW and he's awesome. Would have been nice to save the money though and have a friend of mine who is ordained do it since his wife is already our photographer.

Ask him happens when a family of 5 walk in and there is no spot for the whole family? Cause all tables are taken up by small groups?