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Super May 2019

Asking wedding guests to return missing items etiquette

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JENNIFER, on May 10, 2019 at 4:29 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 36

Ok so we just had our wedding this past weekend on May 4th and it was beautiful and everyone had a lot of fun!!

Now I kinda just quickly looked through all my decor that my husband went and packed up after the wedding. I noticed some of my items are missing. Now there could be more I just haven’t had the time to look through it all since we still have guests from out of town here.

I added some pictures of my items that I can tell are missing. My beast build a bear doll, my Beauty and the Beast snow globe, one of my huge Star Wars lanterns. I found out where they went apparently people were asking if they could take it. My husband trying to be freaking nice and tipsy told them yes!! Ugh it is wrong to ask for them all back ? I had a couple ask me for one of my white crystal vases that had roses and lilies in it. I told them yes but that same couple asked for my damn snow globe and a large lantern. I’m like wth is that normal? I made an announcement during our speech that “The Favors” are for everyone to take. Is it bad taste to get all my items back ?

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36 Comments

Just Said Yes December 2021
Andrew · on May 11, 2019 at 12:45 AM
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Congrats! I agree he should ask for it back and apologize for not realizing the sentimental value as long as it's not kids. On a side note, we chose Beauty and the Beast theme too!
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VIP September 2019
Trista · on May 11, 2019 at 12:59 AM
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I dont know why, but it seems that walking off with centerpieces is "normal" and "common" at weddings. I originally was gonna use some of my late grandmother's wine glasses as centerpieces but then nearly had a panic attack thinking about anyone taking them. I squashed that idea rather quickly.
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Expert July 2019
Natalie · on May 11, 2019 at 1:03 AM
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I’m afraid this will happen at my wedding most of the weddings I go to the guests are allowed to take the centerpiece (flowers) home but I won’t have flowers I will have other items that are home decor that work with my wedding decor. At my cousins wedding she also allowed people to take some books that were part of the center pieces so I’m afraid people might try taking stuff
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Super September 2019
Kim · on May 11, 2019 at 6:53 AM
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Oh wow! I am actually afraid of this! I actually just made a thread about how to keep guests from taking the centerpieces. I have seen this happen before so I would like to prevent this from happening during our wedding. I plan to keep some for myself and sell the rest.
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Super September 2019
Courtney · on May 11, 2019 at 7:10 AM
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I’ve never heard of something like this tbh. I would have your husband reach out to everyone he remembers saying could take home your belongings and politely explain that he didn’t check with you first. I’d say they were being used as decor but are part of your personal collection and have sentimental value to you. I think it’s pretty rude to ask the groom, especially if under the influence, if you can start taking decor from the wedding home unless it’s like flowers... usually decorations (not sentimental items) are given to friends and family for re-use after the wedding is over, not during the party.
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on May 11, 2019 at 8:07 AM
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I have that snow globe and it’s expense. If someone took it from me, H E L L yes I’d be getting it back. There’d be no asking, i would tell. “My husband made a mistake and I need to get that back” I’d even stop by there house and do it in person therefore there’s no well I get it to you when I can.
Mid probably try to get everything else Back too. I can’t believe people actually asked to take your things, not just centerpieces. I’m sorry your husband was too nice and I hope you get your stuff back.
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on May 11, 2019 at 8:17 AM
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Don’t replace it. I found an eBay listed where THEY can purchase another one for their child. (There’s a cheaper one, but i chose and would show the more expensive one to show them to make a point that this wasn’t some cheap throw away item) As someone else who collects snow globes, this just makes me so mad.
Anyone who knows you should know that taking it was not ok. And the fact that hey had to ask twice. They knew it wasn’t an item they were supposed to take.
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Master 0000
Judith · on May 11, 2019 at 9:04 AM
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Yes, if they gave it to the child, they can buy the new one and do the swap. Not bride's responsibility.
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Super May 2019
JENNIFER · on May 11, 2019 at 9:13 AM
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Yea that couple asked to keep 3 items! They are going to give it back and they are actually driving to our house to drop it off. They live a bit aways from us. I’m glad to hear that from someone who has the same item and can feel my pain. Thank you. I’ll have to go throw the rest of my items and see what else was missing. When I briefly looked i only noticed those 3 items. I’m really hoping that’s it.
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Super May 2019
JENNIFER · on May 11, 2019 at 9:16 AM
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Thanks I did forward that to them. They are returning it and not buying one for their daughter!
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Super May 2019
JENNIFER · on May 11, 2019 at 9:21 AM
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Yea I was shocked too. I understand the items like the flowers. I did give that away and the beautiful vaSe it came in. The funny thing is the only people who asked were from the same family lol It’s also more shocking that someone would ask for 3 pieces from my collection. It’s wow 3! Then asked my husband twice for the globe. He remembers saying no the first time. So I guess after a few drinks he must of said yes. I’m so happy they are returning it today!
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VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on May 11, 2019 at 9:24 AM
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Following: I am doing a “Harry Potter” themed wedding and am worried people will take the items. I am making stickers that say “Please leave me” or “Thanks for thinking of me but I’ve got a home. Please leave me” to put on items I can. I thought of adding something to the website too......

i would talk to the person and say: “I am soooo sorry, but the items my husband said you could have were ones that mean a lot to me, and I would really be happy if you could return them to me. They were not supposed to go home with anyone but us.”
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on May 11, 2019 at 10:07 AM
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I am so glad you’re getting it back!
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Super May 2019
JENNIFER · on May 11, 2019 at 4:26 PM
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Yes they just delivered it! I’m so happy now!! They apologized also. I’ll be going through all m wedding boxes to see if anything else if missing. I told them I’ll make them 2 lanterns for each kids bedroom. I know I don’t have too but they are happy and I’m happy. So that works
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Super October 2017
Emily · on May 12, 2019 at 10:11 AM
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This is nuts to me! I'm glad you got it back but it's so surprising that people would just take items from a wedding! My grandmother likes to take centerpieces from her grandkids weddings and use them in her home. She has one from my cousin and asked for one from ours. I told her yes and I think 6 people stopped her on the way out telling her to put it back - guests! lol, I had to give her another one because she just put it back thinking she couldn't keep it.
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Dedicated September 2020
Jamie · on May 12, 2019 at 10:20 AM
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Unfortunately, I think if you or the hubby gave them permission to take things, it would be in poor taste to ask for them back. On the flip side, if they are friends of yours, you could jokingly ask for them back and hope they catch the hint. What a tough situation!
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