Asking someone to be a non-bridesmaid

They won't think anything of it, you can certainly get photos with them, but don't make them wear anything particular that is like being half a bridesmaid or just dressing odd for no reason to the rest of the guests

For absolutely clarity, this is more of an ask if we do not elope. in that case, we'll have a very short ceremony at the reception locale.

similarly, the friends more-or-less know that we are not having a BP. still, i've had friends express interest in shopping for my dress, crafting for the big day, throwing me a shower and bach party.

it sounds like maybe a "thank you" token of my appreciation after all is said and done may be the more appropriate route? then, it doesn't set any expectations up front but shows my gratitude to anyone who chose on their own to go above and beyond.

????????

My BP is my three brothers and my best friend of almost 25 years. My close girlfriends have still been doing some of the things you mentioned, even though they're not in the BP. I bought my dress on a shopping trip with one of them. They all were at my bachelorette party next weekend. A bunch of them asked if they could hang out with me while getting ready to morning of. I didn't think any of this was weird. There's no rule that only BP can do some of these things

My friend did this and had about 6 of listed as "personal attendants " in the program. We went to the rehearsal and hung out with her the day of. We all wore black. It was fun and we felt included but didn't have to buy special dresses. I say go for it.

Personal attendants?

this just gets weirder.

I'm not from the south but I live here now and many of my friends here have had a bridal party with family/a couple best friends and then a "house party" with more friends where they all wear black or blue or marooon or another color and take photos too and get mentioned and don't really have "jobs". I personally kinda feel like in that case I would be offended as it's kind of "you're not good enough for my bridal party but...." I've said this to my southern friends and they think I'm ridiculous and it's not like that at all lol.

In your case you're not having a bridal party. So I don't feel like it's offensive like they weren't "good enough" but I guess I just wouldn't understand why you didn't just make them your bridal party. Your bridal party can be super simple too "any blue dress" and just have a small bouquet or single flower and not have any jobs but to show up in a blue dress.

Does your husband want groomsmen?

Idk I feel like it's fine as long as you're not having an additional bridal party. I would just write them a sweet card and maybe a "something blue" token if you want. Idk what this would be.... a blue flower? A blue pin? A blue bracelet? Blue nail polish? A blue notebook? A blue mug?

The only thing I'd do is let them know that if you were to do a bridal party that you would have asked them to be a bridesmaid, and you really appreciate their friendship. That way no ones in the dark potentially offended they haven't been asked but not releasing you're just skipping it. I think that's enough, no need to come up with alternatives

My best friend got engaged a month before I did. She's not having a bridal party, I am. I wasn't upset or hurt. I still offered her all my help I could give her and I'm still throwing her a bachelorette party with 3 other friends of ours because we love her. You don't need to give them any explanation or special treatment.

FH wanted to only have a MOH and BM, so we dont have a traditional wedding party. I did invite some of my other close girlfriends and cousins to come with us (if they want/can afford it/are in town early/etc.) to get nails done the day before and hang out with me while I'm getting ready. I want my close friends to feel like they can be a part of things if they want to, even though we aren't having a formal WP.

Instead of asked not them to wear blue, why don't you get them each a blue accessory? Like a bracelet or clutch?