Asking parents to contribute?!

I don't think there is anything wrong in asking them to contribute to a specific item - such as your dress, hair, bouquet or cake etc since no one has offered a lump sum to be used at will. But if they say no then just move on and stay happy.

Another way to approach things that is Free is to ask them to help with research. You will be amazed at the amount of time you will spend looking for specific items you want/need to stay in budget. You could ask them to help since IMHO time is money. Ie you find a dress you absolutely love but it's unreasonable. You could ask mom or FMIL to research a comparable dress in your budget. There are so many ways family's can contribute to your wedding without having to contribute financially particularly for DIY projects. DIY projects can often chew up exhorbitant amounts of time - again time is money and by having Mom, FMIL helping, you could knock out a single project on a Saturday as opposed to you giving up 3 Saturdays by yourself.

Welcome to 2011/2012. Women no longer stay at home after high school waiting around for a man to take them away from their parents. Women now have jobs, education, etc.

Family contributions shouldn't be expected. If you have a hard time staying within the budget you have set, then it's time to step back and think about what you want and what's important.

If they offer then great, but plan your wedding as if you are paying for it on your own. Traditions from the 1950's and before are outdated and no longer apply to today's society.

There is no polite way to ask. Do what you can afford.

Secondly - I have to add that even when families do say they will contribute, sometimes they still back out. They may have good intentions when they offer money, but may not be able to contribute in reality. So, even if you find a way to ask and even if it is well-received, there is a risk you won't actually get the cash anyway!

If they have not offered, plan what you can afford... and if they do offer after everything is said and done and paid for, consider it a gift.

I don't think there is a good way to ask. They know you are getting married. Either they will offer you money (or to pay for a specific part of your wedding) or they won't. I just don't think there is a way to ask and NOT sound like you expect something from them, and you really should not expect anyone to pay for your wedding. It's wonderful if they offer, but if they don't, then you've got what you've got.

BTW, what you've got is someone you love enough to say forever to and with whom to build a life and a family. The wedding is only a few hours, so don't feel like what you have is any less because you spend less on the wedding itself.

Im on the "If you're old enough to get married, then you're old enough to pay for it" train. It sucks, but you may have to readjust your expectations for your wedding, or delay until you can afford it.

The only way I can see that you even remotely hint that would like asssitance is to talk to them about the budget. Ask for their budgetting advice. Tell them you have tried cutting back at home to save, but are having a hard time making what you have work for the wedding. You don't need to give details of the budget you're working with at this point- just ask for advice. If they have a particular talent, ask if they would be willing to assist you some of the DIY projects, or if you can borrow certain craft items they own to make them.

But take the amount of money you can afford, and cut it by 20%. THAT is your budget- because unexpected expenses will come up. Your car wil break down, or you'll go over. And most brides forget to include tips in their budget...

Meghan gives great advice about the unexpected expenses ^^^

Listen to her on that. Seriously.

I think it ok for the bride to ask for help, no matter how old you are. It's funny how people want to stick to"a traditional wedding" with everything except the finances. Traditionally, the brides parents should help pay but we know that is not always the case. I am lucky enough to have my father contribute, and my uncle will pay for our honeymoon. My mother has not offered to pay for ANYTHING (my parents were never married) nor has she offered to help with research, etc. FH mom told me if there was anything we needed, just let her know and I will probably ask that she pay for the rehearsal dinner. I'm lucky enough to have the help, but FH and I will still budget as if we are paying for ourselves. So I say, go with Marie S advice, ask for help financially for a specific item (you ask your mother and FH should ask his parents) and if they can't help, then oh well. But as others said, push your date back if you can't afford the wedding of your dreams! Good luck!!!!