Asking my father for my hand in marriage...after a year of being engaged

I wouldn't dis-invite him, but maybe not have him walk me down the aisle, or skip that part of the ceremony along with the objection portion. That way he does not have the opportunity to pipe up.

Tell your officiant to skip that, if you can. I don't know if he has to ask "who gives this woman away", so I'd check.

I just would ask the officiant not to ask him anything. He can walk you down the aisle, then sit down quietly. If you still think he will say something, I would walk down by yourself or with your mother.

Is there some reason your FH can't go to him now and ask? I know it sounds kind of silly, but if this is all the man is asking for............how hard can it be? I agree that he really isn't in a position to ask for anything, as you have described him as not such a great father. But my mom always told me "pick your battles", meaning sometimes it's easier to give someone what they want ( a symbolic gesture, if you will) than to fight it.

That way, your dad won't have any reason to say anything that would embarrass you or FH during the ceremony.

I also think you should instruct your officiant to remove that part of the traditional service that asks "who gives this woman in marriage." No sense in tempting fate, after all! lol

You should still invite him, but maybe your FH can have a talk with him? It's not too late. I know you probably don't care for his blessing, but for tradition and day of peace of mind, it wouldn't hurt.

I'm not sure uninviting him is the way to go but I would certainly reconsider having him walk you down the aisle. First of all, you are no one's property to "give away". Secondly, how dare he consider tarnishing your day like that! I would sit down with him and explain how much that hurt you and why you feel the way you do. I hope he does right by you.

I 100% support your FH NOT asking after the fact. There is no reason to do this or feel bad for not doing it. Nor does it really solve anything.

As far as the wedding goes, I agree with the majority not to disinvite him (unless he becomes much more difficult) but also not to allow him to manipulate you into doing things you don't want. There's no need to have him walk you down the aisle since you already don't want him to. And also no reason for your officiant to ask that question. If Dad makes a scene, that's on him and not because you did anything wrong.

Sending you support from afar (I had a very conflicted relationship with my dad)!

I understand. Luckily, your FH is more savvy than they are, and managed his proposal with just the two of you. Yay FH!! Good job!

I was just thinking in the interest of making your dad feel like he's getting what he wants. Sort of making everyone happy. Of course it wouldn't be genuine on FHs part, because he shouldn't have to ask anyone but you for your hand in marriage. Just remember that older folks have different ideas about this sort of thing, and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to do that, would it?

I do admire you and FH for wanting to be 100% real, and not cave to ridiculous demands/threats. Do you, and have a great day!!