Asking for no photography from our guests?

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

For the ceremony, I totally understand that, however some of your guests may not listen to your request. For the reception, expect very few guests to actually listen to that. Especially since you're throwing essentially a party, we're living in a world where everyone has a phone, and people are going to take pictures at the reception. I understand you have some anxiety from this, everyone is different. But it is very unlikely that everyone will listen to your requests. In terms of posting pics online, your guests should be able to respect your private life, and run the pictures by you to see if you'd want certain pictures to be online, or for you to be tagged in. I am wishing you and your FH all the best, girl!!!

Most people do no photography or cellphones at the ceremony.. Reception is a little much but I have seen pics on pinterest where bride and groom have a sign that it is an "unplugged" wedding entirely. I honestly don't think that'll stop people though at a reception. I think most people understand to be quiet and not be standing to take pics and such at the ceremony. Sometimes candids from family and friends turn out to be some of your favorites!

I'm going to be honest, with what you're describing I would have just eloped. And definitely NOT invited this family to the wedding. Sounds like you have a very nasty and manipulative family and if I were you I would seriously consider blocking them from all social media and removing them from your life.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been wanting to for a long time but if I do they’ll make it hard for me to see and interact with the relatives I do like: my parents, a few of my cousins, my siblings. I almost didn’t even tell them I was getting married but then they all found out. They’re being nice enough that I want extend an olive branch and give them a chance to be nice to me (especially on our wedding day which is also both my FH and I’s birthday). They love him though. Think he’s the best thing to ever happen to me which is definitely true; but they just don’t care so much for me. Honestly I may only extend the no pictures policy to only them and let everyone else do their thing and get over my anxiety about it. I just want one day for everyone to be nice to each other and I feel like our wedding should be that day. I’m being too nice about this, to an extent, but I know after this I can finally start to remove them from my life.

I don't think it's rude at all. For us, we had just an "unplugged ceremony", where guests were not allowed to take photos or video during our ceremony. We decided this for 2 reasons: 1) Our photographer requested it, that way no guest would be in the way of the photos she was taking and as she took photos of the ceremony, she didn't want guests holding up their phones, because it looks tacky, and 2) We had a few family members that we KNEW if they were allowed to have their phones on during the ceremony, that not only would they be taking photos/videos, but they'd take the time to immediately post them on social media, which I think would be rude as heck.

On our invitations, wedding website, and then again via a sign at our wedding we worded it like "Welcome to our Unplugged Ceremony. We ask that all guests turn off their electronic devices during the ceremony so that you may all be fully present to enjoy this special moment with us. Thank you". You can do the same, but just make it an "Unplugged Wedding".

I changed my Facebook settings so I couldn’t be tagged in photos or posts. It required I approve the post first and I just left them on pending. I love seeing people’s weddings, but sometimes guests’ photos flood timelines and I didn’t want that to happen. I also had an “unplugged ceremony,” but a few people took photos and I was okay with it.

Personally, an unplugged reception would be unappealing to me - I would definitely want to take photos with my husband, family, friends and of course, the bride and groom. And as important as you and your future husband are on that day, most people aren’t going to be swarming to take photos of you at every moment. Additionally, during a speech or dance, you’re going to be more focused on your husband or having fun to even notice a camera here or there.

Perhaps you could let your photographer know and they can make some comment about limiting flashes / people in an area where they’re trying to get a shot of a cake cut or first dance? You could also have your photographer take group pics with people who want photos, thereby limiting the amount of photos guests take.

View Quoted Comment I’m definitely sold on the idea of having an unplugged wedding. I’ve always been the least favorite in the family so I don’t want to give them the chances to cause some type of scene or post something rude or upsetting on my Facebook (tbh I plan on deleting my facebook for the week that surrounds the wedding). I don’t trust them to be respectful of my personal space because they know how uncomfortable I am with having my photo taken and they think it’s fun/funny to trigger that. I’d rather just have my photographer take all the pictures and I’ll mail them any pictures that they’re in. I really like keeping parts of my life private and this is an event I want to be as privated as possible. I just hope that they can be nice to me, at least for the ceremony; I know they like my FH and will be nice and respectful towards him. Haha that’s such a weird thing for a bride to say!

View Quoted Comment Hey Anna! I did exactly the same thing and I am
also extremely uncomfortable when someone takes my photo. We asked our guests to not take photos of us but to feel free to photograph the decor, eachother etc. Everyone respected that and no I’ve seemed upset! Your’re the first person I have come across that also feels uncomfortable haveing their photo taken. For myself, I have a really hard time looking at photos of myself. I felt great on my wedding day...until I saw my photos. There were a handful of good shots but more unfaltering ones than good ones, which make me think I looked horrible on my wedding day! I’m still thinking about it 2.5 years later ... so I’m actually thankful we asked guests not to take photos because then I would have all of those to criticize myself over as well. I realize there is an inner issue I need to work on, but for my wedding day I didn’t want to have to worry about that. I see this post is a bit old, did your wedding already happen? All the best - Lisa

Long before this electronics age, it was always considered proper to forbid people from taking photos at a private party, or at a wedding, baptism, or funeral, or at any time in your home. People have commonly carried cameras since small ones came out 60 years ago. In a public bar or restaurant, that is not closed to the general public for a private party, no. There you are on public view. But you can certainly request that no one but the photographers you pay take any pictures. People won't all like it. So what. This is a very emotional time for you. And not a public event. And unfortunately, now most people not only take pics to show friends or family. They post them anywhere, photoshoot them to make things ugly or bizarre and call it a joke, and other unpleasant things. Caution people in advance, in an enclosure. Post it outside the door where you have your ceremony. And many officiants and especially clergy are happy to announce, no photos no videos, no phone calls. Speak to anyone pulling out a phone to take pictures, and if they object, ask them to leave. And ask others, and venue staff to do the same.
It used to be cameras, coke and cigarettes that came up at every party. And arrogant people who act like it is their right to do anything they like, any time and anywhere they please. It is not. Put as long as people get angry and bottle it up because they don't want to offend anyone, they are accepting being bullied. This is your social but private ( not public) party. If people have no respect for you, or your feelings, then they don't belong at your wedding. This is not a random whim, like getting upset everyone did not wear a particular color ( dictating clothing color is generally not accepted etiquette,). This is long standing social cusom, a certain level of privacy. Guests can see what happens before their eyes. But have no right to take pics to take and share things in the party in your rented space, that you have paid for. Temporarily, that is like your home, and you can defend your privacy. One thing that helps, and I thought it worth it, far better than a photobooth. If you can afford it have a second photographer set up a photo area, maybe in a hall or auxillary space, or outside on a lawn in patio. And take photos on request of any group of people there. We said we would pay for prints for anyone who was in such a picture, and that might mean 10 prints for some groups, plus one for us. And that for further copies, they could contact the photographer. We paid the photographer's time, and for promised free prints. Ones we did not keep, our parent's did. Obviously, these days people can copy such pics. But a huge number or even individual prints after the wedding, though they had one of any group they were in. People like photos of groups of friends, and whole families. And couple's like nice photos taken by a person with skills. We set up to 3 hours for this. In the end, he was steadily busy for 2.5 hours, then it seemed everyone who wanted pics had them done. We did not do any photobooth, or any favors, or any welcome bags. This was it. And no photos anywhere in the Inn until the end of the reception time. And no cell or WiFi service. The place was in a dead zone, so shutting off WiFi worked. ( Yes, we let people know in advance. And there were free landlines throughout the lobby to make or receive calls, and landlines in rooms of people staying there.). We evicted one person for persistent ly trying to sneak pictures. And another for being drunk flask in pocket, an hour after the ceremony, before dinner . They got beligerant. Showing their bad manners. A girlfriend of my husband's coworker was asked to leave during cocktails (while coworker stayed after sending her to her motel in a cab. ) And the drunk's wife, a cousin of groom, stayed when we evicted her husband. Awful to do. But worse, would be putting up with and accepting such blatant disrespect. Don't. Expect basic courtesy, and respect for your wish for privacy from unauthorized pictures.

View Quoted Comment Yes the wedding happened back in march and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t my day. It was not fun for me and a lot of people really pushed me. The no pictures thing was really tough too because not a lot of people listened to it and called me rude for asking for no pictures. During the reception we had the DJ announce that I did NOT want my photo taken and to give me some space to enjoy the rest of the night and no one listened. I had people walk up to me and say “ I know you said no photos but that’s not fair it’s my night of fun too” and then try to take a selfie with me. I had no control of the night and a lot of people got on my nerves. We also made the decision to not post any of our wedding photos online (because I really didn’t trust anyone to be civil or say nice things about it) and that cause a lot of negativity to come my way as well. It was one of the worst days ever.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately I had to put up with a lot of disrespect that day. I knew it wasn’t going to be the best day ever but it really was just awful at certain points. It made me wish that we had just eloped instead. It’s also made me realize that for any other important parts of my life: buying a house, having kids, moving to a new state, I’m not going to send out an announcement or post about it on social media. If people are going to be disrespectful to me on my own wedding day ( and birthday ) then they don’t really want to be a part of my life. I think making the reception a dead zone is a really smart idea for anyone else that wants to take this approach.