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VIP May 2018

Asking Family Member to Officiate Wedding? PAGING CELIA

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Ashley, on December 11, 2017 at 12:05 PM

Hi everyone! We are getting married in California. We are trying to figure out how to ask FH's Grandma to officiate our wedding, is this a no? She's the only "friendor" we'd hire. We were going to ask a few pastors from our churches in California but we haven't lived there in years, plus they don't...

Hi everyone!

We are getting married in California. We are trying to figure out how to ask FH's Grandma to officiate our wedding, is this a no?

She's the only "friendor" we'd hire. We were going to ask a few pastors from our churches in California but we haven't lived there in years, plus they don't travel. She's a great public speaker, so we know she would do well. She's never officiated a wedding though.

We are looking up the laws for California but does anyone have advice or tips?

Should we try to get her ordained online, is this the only way to go about this? Also is there a certain website to find a write up for the ceremony?

Any advice is appreciated! Thank you!!!!

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23 Comments

VIP November 2017
cantwait4thedate · on December 12, 2017 at 3:32 PM
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There are lots of good officiants in California. I am from CA and loved mine. Where in CA are you looking? I might be able to help you find one.
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VIP June 2019
Vanessasaurus · on December 12, 2017 at 5:42 PM
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I personally think a professional officiant is the most important part of a wedding. I have seen way too many family member officiants or just genereally inexperienced ones perform ceremonies and it's so awkward and cringeworthy. Of course the legality of it all is a concern too. I just contacted our prospective officiant and she literally covered everything and even says that she comes early enough to send someone to go get the marriage license if there was some crazy emergency where there was none. The whole email is so professional and she has literally thought of everything.
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Celia Milton · on December 12, 2017 at 5:57 PM
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@Vanessa brings up a very good point; officiants are far more than the legality of the person performing. A ceremony has so many more moving parts than most people can even think of. It really takes someone with the confidence to pull it all off, and that only comes with a body of experience that renders an officiant unflappable, no matter what happens (or what doesn't....lost rings? Forgotten license? No vows written? No sand/wine/handfasting cords/mothers' flowers? An experienced officiant will have seen this all before and know how to deal with it in a way that looks like the result was exactly what you planned. (Okay, maybe not the metal detector at the beach, but that's another story....)

It's not just the speech. It's not just the license. It's not just NOT forgetting to get the group to stand, sit, clap, whatever. It's the experience to think on feet, entertain, inspire and make legal. Which is why you should grill your pro officiant to the ends of time until you're sure they are going to be the best person for your day.
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