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Dedicated September 2023

Asking bridesmaids at our engagement party?

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Zully, on March 22, 2022 at 7:57 PM

I had the idea of “proposing” to my bridesmaids at our engagement party (engaged in December, party is in April). I made cute gift boxes for each of the girls and wanted to give it to them at the party so they all have a chance to meet each other since they never have. (Out of 4 girls only 2 know each other because we all work together.) Is this weird to do? Should I make this a separate occasion? I really like the idea of them getting a chance to know each other before any wedding duties start. We all have very different schedules so getting them all in the same room would be difficult. I know they all will say yes to being bridesmaids so I’m not really worried about them being put on that spot. Also, it’s a super casual gathering. Just 20 or so friends getting together at a brewery, not a formal family event. Let me know your thoughts!! Thanks!

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32 Comments

Dedicated September 2023
Zully · on March 23, 2022 at 1:19 AM
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I’m *

Typo lol
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VIP November 2016
Tara · on March 23, 2022 at 11:17 AM
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I think this is an adorable idea and one that will be received well!!! I say go for it. The 6 month rule seems a bit crazy to me. That's barely enough time to order a bridesmaid dress in most cases. If they're good friends of yours and have been that way for a while, I absolutely say go for it.
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on March 23, 2022 at 11:46 AM
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You are welcome hun❤
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Dedicated September 2023
Zully · on March 23, 2022 at 11:48 AM
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Thank you!! And yeah I could never wait until 6 months out. My anxiety would go through the roof hoping we had enough time lol
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Just Said Yes November 2022
Emilee · on March 23, 2022 at 11:58 AM
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Maybe you could ask them individually now and then they can meet and mingle at the party!
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on March 23, 2022 at 1:01 PM
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I would ask them each privately. Sometimes the proposals in a group can be adding pressure on the person to say yes when it's really not a good time for them to do it. Just a thought.
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Dedicated September 2023
Zully · on March 23, 2022 at 6:46 PM
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I’m sorry, I truly was not trying to be snarky so Im sorry it came across that way. I was just giving examples as to why I’m trying to give my girls more time to plan then the average 6-8 months. Your answer was definitely snarky though…especially since nowhere in my post did I ask WHEN I should ask. I just wanted thoughts on HOW. Thank you for your advice though. I appreciate it. Just keep in mind that everyone’s wedding planning journey and situation is different. I hope you have a great day
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 23, 2022 at 8:50 PM
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This. There are countless posts with drama of asking the wrong people way too early who are lifelong friends, and want to remove them without ending the friendship or they don’t care what happens to the friendship. Honestly 6 months is more than enough time because the only thing they need to do is purchase a dress of your choice and get any necessary alterations done. What do you feel they need to do extra?
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Dedicated September 2023
Zully · on March 23, 2022 at 9:10 PM
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Alright I’m done with this posting. It turned into something that it was not intended to be… All I wanted was some feedback on an idea to do something nice for my friends and it turned into a huge debate on when to ask the bridal party, which was not part of the original question at all. I don’t want to have to defend a decision I’m making for my own wedding over and over. Everyone’s situation is different and that’s totally fine! Thank you to all who took the time to give me the feedback I was looking for! I really appreciate it
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on March 23, 2022 at 9:26 PM
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You're definitely not alone. I have no idea where this "6 month" thing came from. I've been a bridesmaid 8 times and I've always been asked about a year in advance. My bridesmaids even placed their dress orders 7 months out! You know your girls better than anyone else. I realize I disagree with a lot of people here, but TBH I would be kind of frustrated if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid less than 6 months in advance, especially if the wedding wasn't local. That's not enough time to plan around my work schedule. Do what you feel is right!
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Just Said Yes February 2023
Skyefye · on March 23, 2022 at 10:02 PM
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I made it a point to do it before my party! i thought about at the party but I didn’t want to make it a big deal in front of everyone. It’s kinda a special moment with you and your girls
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 23, 2022 at 10:11 PM
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A nice thing to do to ask them is good out for coffee individually or have a fun FaceTime visit with each. There is no need to make it public and they appreciate if you don’t. Also you don’t need to fall into the Etsy trap of bridesmaid proposal boxes which put them on the spot to say yes without consideration if the role is doable for them. And most of the items go in trash or Goodwill bin and thank you gifts afterwards for their time and dedication are swept by the wayside.
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