Asking bridesmaids at our engagement party?

It's a cute idea but you shouldn't ask your bridesmaids until 6 months before the wedding. If you ask now, the friendships may change and then next year you'll regret asking some people, or wish you could ask them to step down.

View Quoted Comment I keep seeing this “rule” all over WW and while I totally understand the reasoning behind it I don’t see the harm in asking people you know for a fact will still be friends come wedding day. I’ve known each of these girls for 4-10 years each and we’ve always been super close so I’m not worried about relationships changing. Plus I don’t feel like 6 months is enough time lol

Just let your engagement party be about you. It's harder than it sounds but will be good practice for later. Ask your good friends at another time in privacy to truly make it about them.

View Quoted Comment That’s a really good point. Thank you!

This sounds like a really sweet idea my only concern would be do you have any friends you are not asking to be bridesmaids that will be at the engagement party if so I d make sure to do it in private. Is everyone local can you invite them to a fun brunch or game night or something where its just the bridal party people? Whatever you decide enjoy your engagement party, happy planning!

View Quoted Comment I have a small friend circle so that wouldn’t be an issue. FH has more friends attending than I do lol. I do like the idea of doing something privately though!

Regarding the WW “rule” of not asking before 6 months... I’ve been reading WW forums for 2+ years. I’ve been married now for 6 months and I still come on just because I’m bored and I enjoy reading about weddings haha, but literally EVERY OTHER POST I read is about bridesmaids drama. Something about weddings... I don’t know!


I chose not to have a bridal party at all- no maid of honor and no bridesmaids, no best man and no groomsmen. So I didn’t have any drama. There’s plenty of girls who don’t have any drama and have regular bridal parties!
Sometimes once wedding planning gets underway, things change, perspectives change, your original vision of a wedding changes, etc. so it might be good to wait to ask for those reasons instead of worrying that a friendship might change because you are really confident in your friendships, which is amazing!
Just my 2 cents. Best of luck whatever you decide.

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I promise you - 6 months is *plenty* of time. I was only engaged for 6 months and 1 day. There is absolutely no reason to ask your bridal party before 6-8 months ahead.

Also, a LOT of the people who say my friendships won't change are back on a couple months later because they did change - just what I see.

View Quoted Comment Ok I didn't wait either this 6 mos thing on asking the ppl that I chose to be apart of our big day. Now yes i had asked all of my daughters to stand up with and my sister all had said yes. And now 1 of my daughters had to bow out for family reason so boom. I'm still good and I started planning my wedding since later year we are still good. Just make Zully that they really willingly and can attend and he there for you when you setup appointments that they he to he in attendance when you need them. But you may see some horn start sprouting out lol lol. Because of the colors dresses that you will want them too wear and when that times come DON'T LET THEM DERAIL YOUR VISION AND THE BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES. But enjoy your engagement party and find out there schedules and plan a brunch or lunch date they get to know each other throughout the planning.

I think this would make your other guests feel left out.


My bride friend just sent out a group text with each bridesmaid's photo and listed out our names. They don't have to be besties, and the only "wedding duties" they have is to get the dress and show up.

View Quoted Comment It depends on your friends. I asked a friend of mine a year out but I’ve known her for 20 years. We’ll still be friends. And 6 months isn’t always a lot of time for some people. That’s a pretty big assumption to make for other people

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I think that’s what I’m going to do! Some people are so set on waiting until 6 months but I know plenty of people who didn’t wait and it’s fine...lol. If people need to bow out then ok, no big deal. I’m going to move on with my wedding regardless. Thank you for actually answering my question 😊

Don’t listen to the rules people keep telling you. You know your friends and the relationships you guys have

View Quoted Comment Agreed. It’s probably best to keep this a private moment!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this! I feel like people get so wrapped up in “rules” and etiquette that they forget that every situation Is different.

View Quoted Comment Plenty of people have reason to ask earlier than 6-8 months. Some of us work in the legal field which is very demanding work with an unpredictable schedule at times. Also, I know for a fact some of the girls want to start trying for kids some point soon as well. In my friend group 6-8 months isnt a lot of time as we are all big planners.


And while I get relationships change, whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of when I ask. I don’t think anyone is magically protected from BM drama because they waited an extra few months to ask their party lol. These girls have been my ride or dies for years, not just casual friends, so im truly not worried about changing relationships

View Quoted Comment I think if it were up to FH he’d do without a bridal party as well lol. Me and my friends are very low key so I know there won’t be any issues. We were all bridesmaids in each other’s weddings, asked each other over a year out, and it turned out great

View Quoted Comment Of course! I don’t understand why people put such blanket rules over everyone

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I agree with this. I asked my bridesmaids 14 months in advance (I actually asked them the day after we got engaged because they were my VIPs and I wanted to make sure we chose a date that worked for everyone before looking at venues). 6 months would definitely not have been enough time for them to plan around their work schedules. My bridesmaids were either family or my oldest and closest friends. No drama at all!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this! Glad to see I’ll not alone lol