Asking a relative/friend to officiate?

My God Father is officiating our wedding and I couldn't be happier about it. He has literally known me my entire life and loves my FH like family. We asked him together. I told him it was absolutely ok to say no. He was so honored to be asked and wrote a beautiful contribution to the ceremony, introducing himself and explaining why he is standing up there with us. It makes it so much more personal when you have someone standing up there with you that truly knows and loves you.

My childhood friends' Aunt did both of my ceremonies. She was honored to be asked, and was gracious enough to do it for me. I have known her for nearly 40 years and she is another Aunt to me

Thank you so much ladies, I feel even more encouraged to ask her!

My FIL officiated. I knew that in MA, you can have someone named a Justice of the Peace. As soon as we set our date (which we did before I got a ring and we became "officially" engaged), DH called FIL and told us that we had set a date and that we wanted him to officiate. DH discussed the research I had already done and FIL was beyond thrilled. He did his own research and got ordained (through the Universal Life Church). He did a great job (I actually wrote the ceremony myself which he reviewed to ensure I hit all the legal requirements) and I felt like our ceremony had more meaning with him officiating. I suggest checking with your state/city/county to see what's required of an officiant and go from there.

We did and it was so nice having someone we know do it, really special. We had to get an actual officiant to stand up there too, and say the legal parts. It worked out great.

In California, she would just have to be ordained online. It's ridiculously easy to qualify as an officiant.

Date twin! We're in full force planning mode too. Just ordered my dress last weekend and we have our venue, catering, day-of-coordinator, DJ and photographer booked. Today I actually spoke with our likely officiant. Originally I had planned on doing the friend thing, but we decided it may actually be easier to just hire someone and let them take the reigns. I do love the idea of someone near and dear to you doing it though. Just make sure the online officiating is legal in your state/county if the person you're asking isn't already ordained. Happy planning!

If I had someone close in mind who I really wanted to do it, I would have. But I was sort of like 'well this person could, or this person, or maybe this person." If there was a specific person I had in mind I would totally go that route, it's what I originally wanted but eh, hiring someone.

Hi date twin! You're way ahead of me! We found the venue/catering we want; we're just waiting to tour it, taste it and book it. But we haven't yet even looked for a photographer. That'll be June. That's nice though! In our state and county, online is enough, surprisingly! Which will be nice. If my aunt declines, we have a professional in mind to do it.

My best friend of 18 years' father, who I call uncle, is officiating. I was nervous to ask him but he's ecstatic!

We asked my uncle to be our officiant.

At first FH believed that was too much to ask of one person (family member or friend) but the more I explained the relationship between my uncle and I and just really thought about it, he agreed.

My Uncle was so thrilled and moved to be asked. He was really honored by the idea. I know he is excited and we plan to meet soon to discuss what we want for the ceremony.

I know that we will be covering the cost of getting his license that day and all costs associated with the marriage certificate.

For all of you considering this -- make SURE the person is legally authorized in your state/county/city to officiate weddings and that s/he knows the LEGAL requirements for the ceremony and signing the license. You don't want to find out down the road that you're not legally married.

We asked his wife because she makes all the decisions.

They were happy to assist, though curious as to why we chose him.

You all know what I'm going to say.

@Celia- I was waiting and admittedly got a good chuckle from seeing your post being hidden. I think we all know how you feel about officiants and how to go about them. After reading all of your responses to this question, I've walked away with the understanding that having someone near and dear do your ceremony is a slippery slope, so be careful. @MoonRide- thats interesting! Never knew that it went down that way. Can you elaborate a little more for inquiring minds?

Mikes wants his brother to officiate. I want our Pastor (not at the church) to officiate, I don't know who will win. I do know his brother has done a wonderful job and has officiated 6 weddings for friends and family so far. This is a battle that I don't know the outcome quite yet. Celia's wise words might help me sway FH in a way that I never could....

eta- brain isn't working tonight

I'm well aware of how to go about it the legal way - I'm a very research oriented person. I would absolutely make sure it was completely up to legal code if it weren't already. Also, my best friend's officiant was terrible - not all professionals will come through with your desired result. Plus I wouldn't expect a professional officiant to endorse family or friends doing it, since it equals lost business.

All that being said, she accepted, was completely ecstatic and lo and behold (I didn't realize this), she's already ordained and valid in our state and performed a distant cousin's wedding three months ago and she sent me their wedding video. She performed a gorgeous ceremony for them and I'm glad I asked.

It's not a matter of just being legal. It's not about someone who knows you being better than someone who doesn't, because that's just not always the case. It's about handing over the most important, first part of the day to someone who has never done anything remotely close to this before. For those of you who have uncles, cousins, parents who are actually pastors, fantastic, but even THEY may not be great at weddings. Not every minister is great at a wedding. There are plenty of paid wedding officiants who suck at this but at least family members who are clergy have a leg up in that they have a forgiving audience who isn't really as concerned about the content of the ceremony as they are with the emotional factor of having them officiate.

A meh ceremony is just that; a meh ceremony. A really great one is really great, but it's not just the ceremony. It's great writing, sourcing readings and ritual elements, careful planning and followup, dazzling presentation on the day. It's also hand holding along the way and split second thinking on the day of the wedding. It's organizing the processional, working with your other vendors (music, photography, video) and keeping everything running smoothly that day. It's about as far as it can get from showing up, reading a bunch of stuff and leaving, hopefully remembering to sign the license.

There are plenty of officiants I know who are far worse than any given family member and cost more too, but it's a very important part of the day; one that is often best left to people who are truly good at it, have passion for it, and can start the celebration off in a tremendous way. If you have someone like that in your family, consider yourself really blessed. If you don't, it might not be an experiment you want to chance.

We asked a friend who went to college with us. He was honored.

My dad is officiating. He wasn't included in either of his other two children's weddings, so I said I wanted him to do it since I know he was kind of hurt.