Asking a bridesmaid that will have a new baby?

Depending on when she has a baby/health/whatever, she might not even be able to make it. But it would be nice to include someone who is going to be a part of the family and the mother of you new niece/nephew. The best thing you could do is ask her ( if that's how you really felt and wanted) and keep her included but also don't put pressure on her for making the wedding/doing a lot of wedding things. For some of my bridesmaids that weren't in town I sent them " what do you think of" "help me pick which color" "please send wine via butterflies I'm on the twelfth version of this seating chart and I'm about to cry" stuff so they didn't feel left out. If it were me I would rather be asked and then said I can help/support you where I can then be left out of the loop.

Ignoring her current pregnancy, are you two tight enough to where if they went through an ugly breakup between now and then, you'd still want her in the BP? If not, I wouldn't ask her. That could be awkward.

My sister is pregnant and due 1 week after my wedding, I really dont push her to be too involved only what she has time and feels comfortable doing. Maybe try to get those DIY things done sooner and then closer to the wedding you can play it by ear.

The pregnancy isn't the issue. You shouldn't be asking your BP to help do your DIY. That's the "Y" part: yourself. Their only duties are to show up in the dress and be sober. Period.

That said, I hope, with a baby that young, you will be allowing her to bring baby if she is breastfeeding. Breastfed babies NEED to be fed on demand the first several months or it can destroy a mother's milk supply. Yes, even one night can end up difficult or for some even impossible, to recover from supply-wise, especially that early on.

If you're willing to accommodate her should she need it, then ask away, with the understanding that she may have to back out at any given time.

I would be more concerned if between now and then there was an ugly breakup like Keri said. I personally wouldn't ask her for that fear alone. My brother had a serious gf and they broke up 2 weeks before my sisters wedding. It made the whole day awkward/uncomfortable because she was still emotional at the wedding.

Fear of breakup becomes less so when there is a baby involved. not because of the parents relationship but you're no longer asking your brothers gf, you're asking your future niece/nephew's mother

I would ask her but also let her know that you understand if when it comes time she isn't feeling up to it. It will still mean a lot to her to be asked, just don't put pressure on her or make her feel guilty if she isn't up for it by then.

She may not even be able to make the wedding depending on how the birth goes and when it actually happens. I would just sit down and talk to her about it. That way you can figure it out and stop worrying about it. No hard feelings in the end either.

My sister is my MOH, she is due in May, I also worried the same thing. But she said she can handle it. I'm prepared to help her with a lot of things, even if she says she doesn't need it (i.e. the showers)

@MNA, I wanted to include it in my post but ran out of characters and decided it wasn't that important. But DIY is a pretty big thing for me, my mom, and my brother's girlfriend. They get together almost every Sunday and work on DIY projects and then I participate when I'm in town. So I wouldn't demand it or anything but I foresee wedding stuff just being the projects we work on for some of the usual DIY Sundays. I'm definitely not putting them to work and she could choose to sit out for whatever reason. My sister isn't really into it and probably won't participate at all. I'm fine with that.

@Judi, that's a little more how I looked at it. I was going back and forth before the baby news. But a baby seems to solidify her into the family more.

I totally see the breakup concern though. There's a difficult line between making her feel included and planning for potential future issues.

I'm going to say she will probably decline. When I had my son 7 months ago I barely left the house for two months and there no saying she won't go over her due date either. Honestly I don't think she'd be much help either.

Babies don't solidify relationships!

You can make her feel included without her being a BM. After all, all a bm does is buy a dress and stand next to you. Very similar to a wedding guests minus the standing.

@TheUncommonBride - You're in the minority. Most moms on this site including me will tell you that they were out and about days after their babies were born.

Personally, I agree with Mrs. Davis and Keri, are you close enough to the GF that you would still want her in your wedding party if she and your brother broke up? Also, let her make the determination whether she would like to come and don't force any of your BMs to do DIY projects, if they offer, fine, but if not, let it be.

@MrsDavis, I didn't say it would solidify the relationship. They could still break up. But I think it makes her an important part of the family forever. Even if they did break up, she would still the mother of my first niece/nephew.

I know I would have to have the conversation with her but I've seen where BM's feel pressured to say yes. So I thought it would be a good idea to pitch the idea on here. If a lot of brides thought it was too much to ask then I wouldn't risk asking and potentially making her feel obligated.

Everyone's input has been super helpful!

It's nice that you want her to feel included but your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest, not people you want to include just to make them feel included. Is she someone you consider one of your best girlfriends?

And as a mom, if she was one of my best friends, I would make it work as a bridesmaid if I just had a baby. But...if I wasn't that close to her, I would pass on saying yes to being a bridesmaid.