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Just Said Yes January 2020

Are you paying for your own wedding?

X X, on October 13, 2020 at 5:28 PM Posted in Planning 0 55
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I'm just wondering about this. When I spoke to friends who got married in their 20s, they either paid nothing or paid very little. We are paying for it ourselves (but not opposed to family help but no one offered lol). We're an older couple and it's the first marriage for both of us (I'm late 30s and he's early 40s). When I said I was engaged, I thought maybe my parents would have brought up the costs but they never did. (my parents are both retired so I'm not going to ask them to help). My fiance and I were originally planning to not go over $25,000 (for everything), and then decided to make it under $10,000 for everything to have more in savings. It would have been nice to have gotten married young because I think my parents would have paid when I was a young maid. I guess maybe it's worth it to us because my mother is insane and would want to be a part of all the planning having a say if she gave some $$.

55 Comments

Latest activity by Amanzano014, on October 19, 2020 at 11:40 AM
  • Dedicated October 2020
    • Flag
    My parents gave me money but i didn鈥檛 want to use it. So me and my Fh is paying for everything
    • Reply
  • Alma
    Expert October 2020
    Alma
    • Flag
    We are paying it for it ourselves. 馃槉
    • Reply
  • Lynn
    Dedicated April 2021
    Lynn
    • Flag
    We are paying majority of our wedding my mom is helping a lil and so is my fmil. But everything else we are paying for because my mother and future mother-in-law are throwing me a nice bridal shower
    • Reply
  • Marissa
    Expert October 2020
    Marissa
    • Flag

    We paid for the majority of it ourselves, but our parents did help out a bit. Like my mom paid for my musicians, my dad paid for my dress, and his parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle
    • Flag

    We paid for ours ourselves

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin
    • Flag
    My boyfriend and i are planning on paying for it all ourselves, but have a $5k budget so we dont go into debt over one day
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Dedicated July 2022
    Maggie
    • Flag

    I'm paying for 80% of my wedding, which includes a reherasal dinner/ceremony/reception in Chicago and a second "reception" in my fiance's small town in Spain a month later. I'll be just shy of 31 when I get married. But I'm pretty sure most of my friends who got married in their early 20s had their weddings paid for by their families, considering none of us had any money right after college!

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Devoted September 2020
    Samantha
    • Flag

    We paid for just about everything ourselves. 2 people contribute towards the band and my mom let me skip my car insurance bill one month (lol) I am in my early 20s, but my husband is 30.

    • Reply
  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele
    • Flag
    In this day and age, more couples pay for their own than those who don't. Even if we had to elope and just send announcements (no party), then we would pay for it ourselves no matter what.
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta
    • Flag
    We went into planning assuming we would be paying for everything. Once planning out underway and we started making decisions on vendors, etc., my parents surprised us by graciously offering to pay for certain items.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online
    • Flag
    We paid for a majority of it ourselves. My mom bought my dress and his mom paid for our rehearsal dinner otherwise we paid for everything. We are both in ours twenties.
    • Reply
  • Madelin
    Devoted November 2020
    Madelin
    • Flag
    We are paying for our wedding. We are both in our 20s. As you mentioned, no one really offered per se. However, my mom and stepdad did buy my dress, my mom has helped purchase a lot of decorations, and paid and cooked for the bridal shower. My fiance's mom wants to help us by buying the cake.


    I think it's pretty normal for individuals to pay for their own wedding nowadays. If family members can fund or help with the costs that's amazing. I feel that the family of the bride doesn't pay for the wedding anymore like in the past.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar August 2021
    Jasmine
    • Flag
    We're paying ourselves. Fiance and I are mid twenties. It just really depends. The extra help is always nice though lol. No one offered for us but my mom wanted to pay for our honeymoon so that's one less thing we'll have to worry about
    • Reply
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli
    • Flag
    My parents gave us $5K, his parents did absolutely nothing. So, basically, we are paying for it ourselves.
    • Reply
  • Belle
    Rockstar August 2022
    Belle
    • Flag
    When we eloped at 18 & 23 years old, it was all donated or borrowed. All means the minimum flowers were donated by previous wedding before us. I didn鈥檛 even know I would have a bouquet even though it was from previous bride that morning. My simple dress was a super cheap kids communion dress made bigger for my pregnant belly. Again, it was donated and I didn鈥檛 choose or expect any. Super simple wedding bands was a gift from dh鈥檚 older brother. I didn鈥檛 see it before the blessing at a tiny chapel at all. I didn鈥檛 even expect a ring. Dh鈥檚 aunt took me to a cheap mua near by, I remember it was $30 for hair in make up. It was in Southeast Asia in 1998 mind you. I didn鈥檛 expect any of those, and was thinking to go to with my street clothing. Everything was not my taste at all. But it was not my place to be picky. It was better than nothing. That鈥檚 it, I had nothing else special on my elopement because we were young and had no money.


    As you see, I didn鈥檛 say anything when someone else pay anything my elopement. Thank you was the only thing comes out of my mouth.
    Now we are planning an intimate destination wedding, on our 25th anniversary. We are in our early 40s. We are proud, very proud, to choose things we want and pay everything with our saving.
    In my opinion, not every parents are planning or have saving to pay their kid鈥檚 wedding. Some parents are working hard to save for their own retirement and I respect that.
    If your parents would like to pay anything, they would offer you in the first place. I would never dare to ask parents to pay for my 鈥渓uxury鈥. Yes, a wedding is a luxury to me. Not when I was 18, not now, and would never ask anyone to chip in for my wedding. There鈥檚 my 2cents, but that鈥檚 just me 馃し馃徎鈥嶁檧锔
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    VIP September 2020
    Nicole Online
    • Flag

    We're in our early 30s and paid for the majority of the wedding ourselves. That being said, our parents did give us generous monetary gifts during the planning period to help with costs, but we never asked them to do so.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online
    • Flag
    My fiance and I are paying for our wedding completely on our own.
    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    Super April 2022
    CountryBride
    • Flag

    When my fiance and I get married we will be both in mid and early 30s and we are paying it for our selves

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring
    • Flag
    We are paying for everything ourselves. I'm in my late 20s and FH is in his early 40s.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming
    • Flag

    Each family is different but if it is the first marriage, I don't assume age would have anything to do with whether a family wants to financially assist or not?

    I'm 23, FH is 29 and we are paying for 1/4 of our wedding. My parents are paying for half and his parents are paying the other 1/4. This is because our parents want us to have a beautiful day, and have also invited quite a number of people to the wedding!

    • Reply

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