Are you going into debt over your wedding?...I think I might be heading that way

Aww huggss I actually know how you feel. i always dreamed to have a huge wedding. BUT with no help from FS's parents and only a little bit and our low incomes, we decided to not have a big wedding with 100 guests because we don't have a place to live together after marriage and no honeymoon. We rather have a very small wedding of 20 guests and have a nice honeymoon for 7 days and able to afford to move into a place and buy new items. It was hard but I felt so relieved. We plan to have a huge wedding in 10 years to renew vows and you could always do that :-). Trust me it is not a good idea to start a marriage with more debt.

I get the whole thing about having what you want, but take a step back and weigh your options.and if you feel you "can't do without" those things that are adding up on the budget, considered pushing your date back a couple of months and allow yourself time to save some money. Or even cutting back on the number of guests... doing some DIY projects etc etc...

think about what you want as compared to what you need...do you really WANT the added stress of starting your marriage in debt?

*only a little bit help from my parents

Ya it can be tough to sacrifice what you pictured your wedding to be..but take a step back; ask yourself questions why you want a certain something? "Like, why do I want the huge bouquet over the medium sized one?" or something like that..if many of your answers involve well so and so had one like this, or everyone will think its really cool; then really think about whether or not you need that..maybe pic one area where you want to splurge a lil more on, and other areas to cut costs..for example we are going to spend more on photography, but just using venue linens and do-it-yourself decorations. So just figure what you WANT vs truly NEED. also it could help to make a list of benefits to not spending as much; like what else the money could go to, just so you have that in front of you! :-)

We split the cost with my parents and pay for only what we could afford. Really, on the big day you'll have so much going on you probably won't notice half the things you're splurging on. I had 100 people and everyone was trying to talk to me. I ate my meal in peace but literally was dragged away from my cake and only got 1 bite in. We didn't do favors to save money, and nobody missed them and we got compliments on not doing it. Our invites were super cheap, classy looking ones from Hobby Lobby. Know why? My friend went with her husband to his friend's platinum wedding, and they spent $$$ on invites...right after the wedding she caught him throwing the most gorgeous invite ever right in the garbage. -shrug-

The important things to me were music, cake, and photography. But, definitely get the things you know for sure you'll miss on your day.

I am in the same boat, then my mom and MOH brought me back to reality..I want a nice house with uprades and nice cars so I will cut my guest ist doen to friends and fammily i see on a daily basis and enjoy it with them. After all how can you have a hug outrageous wedding and come home to live with your parents!? not cool.....

Well Todd and I do not believe in debt ... seriously we live with debit cards and our only credit cards are secured... we just feel that if you cannot pull it out of your bank account, you simply do not need it. as for going in debt, it is not an option. Our weding will be 5k or less and we have around 130 coming hopefully... I hope that your day is everything you have ever dreamt of just be careful... you dont want to regret it when you see bill after bill arrive in the mail. Think about entering your new life with a clean debt free beginning...maybe that will help you to back off and lower the budget a bit! Best of luck dear. :o)

Yes, our budget doubled!!! I am being robbed!!!lol

Uh...hello??? The wedding is ONE DAY. Marriage is (or should be) a freaking lifetime. How are you gonna start off a marriage IN DEBT? You do realize many divorces are due to money problems, right? WTF??? *Goes to take meds*

I feel like a hypocrit (sp?) saying this because my parents payed for my wedding. BUT I never would have gone into debt if I was paying for it myself. No way. That is not a good way to start a marriage. Debt puts a lot of stress on you and money is not something you want to discuss. You'd be better off having a $1,000 that isn't "perfect". You are still marrying the man of your dreams, and that is what counts.

I meant that money is not something you want to fight about, or have a reason to fight about at the beginning of your new life together.

Thanks ladies :-) When I say debt i don't mean literally debt after the wedding...more like broke until! I will have the money along with my FH funds and we can make it happen but it is stretching it thin...very thin :-) thank you for all the positive words and straight forward advice.

Like the other girls said:

1. Prioritize. Start a list of your absolute MUST-haves & another WANT list, then number both lists' entries in order of importance.

2. Compromise. You shouldn't have more than a few "Must-Haves". And, if your must-haves are all big-tickets items, you will have to compromise on some of them.

3. Be realistic. Flowers die- photographs live forever. I'm placing more emphasis on photography for this reason. Also, do you really need a designer gown for just one day's use? Wouldn't you rather have a nice honeymoon?

4. Like all the other girls said- one day is not worth going into debt for, nor straining a new marriage! Which is more important to you, financial security or a few fleeting hours?

5. Don't expect to recoup all your costs from gifts. It won't happen and you will be left with the bill when all is said and done.

Nope. I refuse to. Our future children living in a house (I like apartments enough but living on a farm has ruined me and I couldn't see a kid living in one) and me having a decent car are more important. Its all about priorities. I would love to have a budget 10% mine but it isn't realistic if I want to save for a house and new car.

Lol I meant 10X not 10%

I am not going into debt at all. We have 3 sources of money (FH and I) and we are mainly just using what I make, Ive always dreamed of a very small wedding but my wedding is going to a bit bigger than I pictured it. I originally only wanted 30 ppl at the most and there is actually 70. Well anyways, I work 6 hrs a week (60 dollars a week, and thats what we are using.) I feel quite uncomfortable about using money on something for one day but it is everything is still going to be beautiful. My budget is $2,000 and as of right now with all the estimates our total price is $1,400.

10k!? I would go CRAZY with that..I could have gotten everything I wanted in the first place with that much! hahha. I'm not really keeping a 'budget' I'm just going with the flow, and if we have the money we'll get it, if not, oh well. Like decorations..I'm getting most of the generic ones from Dollar Tree, and some fall leaves and bundles of leaves, and hanging leaves from Micheal's, nothing to extraordinary. I have most of everything already done..I only have about 1500$ left, maybe closer to 2k, and we've only spent like $600. But towards the end when we're paying everything off, FS and my mom are splitting bills..

And we're inviting around 150-200 people. lol. I feel like I've hit the jackpot compared to everyone elses prices.

My wedding was suppose to be less then 10 and now we have hit 15. I like you wanted what I wanted the way I wanted and if I was going to do this it was going to be done the right way and that was that I am paying for this myself too so I understand. I put everything on payment plans and started making them 6 months ago so everything is payed slowly over a period of time. You can still have everything you want just don't select on impulse. Shop around, look at different venues, different websites, different bridal stores. Don't settle on something because likely someone has the same thing some where else for much cheaper. Just pay close attention to what you are buying and get the best bang for your buck. You wouldn't buy 10$ bleach at Walmart if you could get it at the dollar store for 2$. Just dont react quickly you be fine

KenWay - I just posted a similar thread and got some tough responses but also some good ones. I am in a similar situation. We are expecting the total of around 35k - 39k! FH wants a big dream wedding (oddly enough) and wanted on the Yacht to the left. With my post I was looking for other in the same boat.. (no pun intended). I talked it over with my parents, who unfortunately can't help, and my dad said "Yes it is a lot of money for one day. However, what is saving for one year, when you will have a lifetime together to remember it." He really made me feel better. I am thinking.. we work for this money.. and unless we are giving it to charity or paying for maybe our future kids college.. we are going to spend it in one way or another.. So I say spend it and enjoy your day! Feel free to write me if you want to vent.. I needed a "spending too much on this wedding" buddy : )