Are weddings a waste of money?

I'm sorry people seem to be so negative toward your impending nuptials, but just try to let it roll off your back. If they're not paying for anything, who cares!?

Opinions are like belly buttons -- everyone has one.

Smile and say, "Thanks for your input" and then do what YOU & FH want.

Could there also be jealousy in their negativity? I say the day is what you want not what they want. don't talk about the wedding with them and know it is their problem not yours!

Aww that sucks! But it's YOUR wedding. Don't let others negativity take that away from you. If you want a wedding, go for it! I say life is too short to please everyone else. Don't rob yourself of wearing a white dress bc others have their opinions.

I saw the heading and the first thing that came into my mind was "yes", but then I read your post.

Yes I believe weddings generally are a waste of money, but so are many other things in life. Parties are a waste of money, going to the cinema is a waste of money, new clothes are a waste of money. They may not be necessary, but they make us happy. I think that as long as you find a balance between spending on things you want and need (i.e. you don't spend 15k on a wedding and then not have enough for food and rent) you're doing fine and can ignore the naysayers.

Most of the things we spend money on can be considered a "waste". We buy makeup, fast food, vacations, name brand clothes, alcohol, satellite tv, etc, etc, etc. People all "waste" money in different ways. The bottom line is money is for spending. If it's never spent, it has no value. You aren't taking it with you when you die, so you may as well use it to do something that makes you happy. As long as you're budgeting it and can afford the wedding, you're good! Don't feel like you need to answer to other people about how you spend your money. If they have a problem with it, politely tell them it's none of their business. :-)

Thanks ladies!

I"m with Nel. I read the subject, and my first thought was, "Well, yeah, of course it is!" The next time someone makes a comment about it being a waste of money, why not ask them questions about THEIR personal finances too, or suggest that perhaps that expensive car was a waste of money, when y'know, they could've bought a small economy car, or why they own such a large house when they could get by with ___. When you put it in the comparison of them spending their money on what THEY want/choose to, versus YOU spending YOUR money on what YOU want/choose to, I imagine you'll stop getting a lot of the comments.

Honestly, I think it's rather rude for them to comment on expense in the first place, unless you're bringing up the cost of your wedding. I was always taught that you don't ask people what they paid for anything, and you don't discuss their finances/make comments about their spending.

I'm sorry the people in your life are causing you any bad/sad feelings. I consider myself lucky in that both my parents as well as my future in laws (and our family) understand what goes into planning a wedding (including the cost) and just want us to have the day we want. Of course, FH and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. I don't know if that really changes people's thoughts and reactions or if its the fact that we are older and our families figure we consider each choice and weigh the price vs. the value of what we are getting. Plus at the end of the day we are going to do whatever we feel is best so they figure they should just be present in the moment and celebrate with us.

Do I think it's a waste? Yes. But I'm still doing it. I'm the only child and this will be the only time I get married. I want to celebrate our new life together and want to do it well. With the wedding money, we could have a new bathroom and kitchen installed in the house we just bought. But...we will always be able to do that. Weddings are once in a lifetime. Let them be negative nellies. Enjoy every moment.

Thank you so much ladies. Screw the haters!

First of all I agree with everyone that a wedding is a waste of money but so are so many other things we spend money on...I struggled with the same dilemma when we first got engaged. Our wedding is 20k (definitely enough on a down payment on a house). Fiance and I both make a decent living to where we will not go into debt paying for this wedding. Hopefully, you are only getting married once and, in my opinion, anyone who wants to have a wedding deserves to have one. I understand people thinking its a waste of money and wanting to put that money towards other things but that is a personal choice and should not be imposed on you. As long as your not going over your budget to where its going to interfere with your quality of life a wedding is a beautiful way to start off a marriage.

There were a few times that I wanted to just skip all the hooplah and go straight to the courthouse, but we really wanted a big party with the ceremony, etc. The irony is, those people who are commenting negatively on the cost of your wedding are probably the ones that will have the most fun IF they are invited. That's a big IF.

Hahahaha Marissa!

Thanks ladies! Opinions SUCK!

Right now, as I am planning and paying off balances I feel like it's a waste of money. But I know that I am going to love every moment of my wedding day and it will be more than worth it. Stop listening to the nay-sayers, they are probably just jealous that you can afford what you want. If you are paying than you should get what you want, plan the wedding that you want and forget what everybody is saying, unless it's supportive. It's your day and it should be the way you want.

In short - yes, yes they are. But so is almost everything you buy/do. My FH and I were together for 7 years before we got engaged. Everyone thinks "Well it's about damn time and they should just do it at the JOP." Why would this matter? For some reason the families seem to think that since it took us so long that we should just get it over with - as if to say if we got married 4 years ago it would have been more acceptable to have a party/normal wedding.

My FH's parents just cringe and make faces when I bring up various details and the cost (they do not care at all about any of it and would be annoyed if they had to do anything other than just show up). My mom is negative about almost everything I bring up because it is "not like it was 30 years ago."

The fact of the matter is that almost ALL my family and friends will have to come from out of STATE to attend this wedding and I want it to be nice for THEM. I also know 5-10 years from now probably 20 of the people we will invite will be deceased. This will be the ONE and ONLY time we will get everyone together. SO is it a big deal to me? You are damn right it is because I know in the long run if I do not have "real wedding" I would regret it.

We are doing this all on a budget and our venue is the most expensive cost. My mother has paid for the venue and my $300 diamond in the rough dress but I am paying for all the decor and my FH is paying for the food and booze. I think if you are spending YOUR money on what YOU want, no one has any place to complain about what you want or what you choose to spend your money on!

@monkey, I've had that feeling too (while paying off balances) and the negativity doesn't make me feel any better. Thank you so much!

@ Jennifer- That sums it up. I had a mini rant. LOL

What Nel said, and I've come to view it this way: Yes, a wedding is one night and you shouldn't spend what you can't comfortably afford. But a house and a car are THINGS, and we don't get to take any things with us when we die. A wedding is a time when everyone you love is with you, making memories that are with you for your entire lives, and that is even more valuable than a thing. Sorry your circle is so negative, but maybe they're jealous?

You can enjoy every moment of your wedding whether you spend $100,000,000 or $100... money and decorations and fancy food don’t make people happy... but the people you choose to celebrate with and your mindset that determines how much you enjoy your wedding. Modern wedding culture is largely brainwashing ppl