Are We Wrong

I think it is okay to feel hurt but not hold it against him. He is not guaranteed to be his best man. My best friend is my MOH but I was just her bridesmaid because she has two sisters. I think it is okay to be upset but I am sure there is a reason that another person was chosen as the best man. Does your husband's friend have a closer relationship with this other guy? I do understand the upset as your husband chose this guy over his own brother.

Let it go. My husband wasn’t a groomsman for one of his friends who had been a GM at our wedding and it didn’t even occur to him to be hurt. He was last in the line of GM for his friend who was then his best man (so similar situation to you except the weddings were the other way around) and couldn’t have cared less. It’s minor, make like Elsa and let it go.

Our bridal party is lined up in an almost completely random order. Chosen by me. My fiance had almost no say.


My friends are lined up in a way I feel is going to prevent my shortest bridesmaid from being lost in the lineup, and the groomsman they walk with was also chosen by height. One set was paired up because my bridesmaid can't remember specific groomsman name. And refers to him as my fiances tall friend. We thought itd be funny to pair them together. She happens to be standing the furthest away from me, but would have been my choice if we had 2 MOHs.

I wouldn't be phased by this at all.

Feelings are never wrong. You’re entitled to feel however you feel, but you need to process it and let it go. The friend didn’t do anything wrong.

I would let you husband’s friend tell him. It shouldn’t come from you.
Maybe they picked this other person for a specific reason (yet another reason to let his friend explain) As for the line up, there’s probably logic to their line up, and no maliciousness. I just don’t think you should jump to conclusions until the whole story is told.

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My husband has been friends with his guy since they were in like 2nd grade. They grew up together has best friends. I don't believe he has known the other guy longer. Even in his speech at our wedding, he said that my husband is like a brother to him. I feel like it is kind of like a slap in the face that my husband picked him, but he didn't return the favor and that he made my husband the last person in the wedding party.

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I understand but like other pp's have said I would it go. At best your husband could ask why but what is the relationship with this new guy? I have known some people longer than my best friend but I am closer to her.

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Our line up as based upon importance so we picked so we picked who went first, second, etc. based on who we had a closer relationship to, but I guess not everyone does it this way.

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My husband already said he would be hurt if someone other than him or the brother were best man so I just want to support my husband if he is hurt by his friend's decision.

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I think his best friend should have said something to him that way we didn't find out from looking at their wedding website.

View Quoted Comment I agree with that. Maybe friend didn’t know we sit is live?
Not making excuses, just saying wait and hear all sides.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with this. You have your feelings and they are totally valid, but this isn’t meant as a slight so try to move past it.

Hey girl! I dont think you were wrong, i also don’t think you guys should feel any regrets. My fh chose his best friend over his brother as well. Sometimes friends end up being closer than family. As far as his best mans wedding it’s unfortunate yes, but maybe him and his fw struggled with the line and i would just take the groomsman position with pride because your husband wasn’t forgotten.

Try not to let your feelings (both yours and your husbands) ruin this moment/the relationship with his friend. We all get overwhelmed with wedding things, including losing track of things we’ve said when it comes to making a decision. Sometimes things like this don’t seem as important to other people as they may of been. Friend may really be thinking nothing of it! To him, there could be plenty of reasons why this man was chosen over your husband. Reasons you may never understand. If your husband wants to potentially wreck a friendship, he could always ask but this may be an accept your feelings and have to move on thing. I let my best friend get drunk and rant about her not being my MOH, but haven’t said anything to her about it since because no explanation from me is necessary. She’s going to have her feelings, I’m going to have mine.

I think it’s okay to feel upset because feelings are valid. But as some who was a MOH in someone’s wedding but won’t be asking them to even be in my bridal party sometimes relationships just change. This doesn’t seem the case in this situation but just putting it out there. As for the line up order mine has no particular order of importance beyond MOH/best man and my fiancé didn’t really care/say anything about it so that could also be the case her. My sister will be waking last in my party due to age and height so 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are entitled to feel hurt. But it's the same as your wedding where your husband chose his friend over his brother and his brother was hurt. No one did anything wrong, so there is nothing to do now but feel hurt for a bit and then move past it.

Also all this focus on ranking friends, or perceived ranking (because you don't have any way of knowing if your friend arranged his lineup the way you did) is not doing anyone any favors. I would definitely make the effort to get over this part soonest.

Agreed with PPs, and also, the lineup on the website does not always equal the actual lineup. My order is sort of random, and my fiancé's groomsmen are in even more of a random order because of pair-ups. You're entitled to feel your feelings, but this isn't something to expound energy on. They're entitled to selecting their people just like y'all are entitled to select yours.

You’re entitled to feel that way but I’ll let you know now that I’m hindsight the titles don’t even matter. I had two maids of honor but then in realization I realized all of my bridal party were important equally they just had different titles

View Quoted Comment We specifically avoided a lineup that "ranked" our friendships. We didn't want to do that, as it seemed unecessarily hurtful.

I agree with others that you’re entitled to your feelings but it’s not a tit for tat thing. I was maid of honor for several of my bridesmaids and my maid and matron of honor I was not their maid of honor. Also the lineup thing doesn’t matter, we did ours based on height so I wouldn’t read too much into that.