Are these typical wedding purchases 'necessary'? Would anyone miss them if i don't buy them?

Layla, on November 19, 2021 at 12:46 PM Posted in Planning 1 12

I'm wondering if the following things would be missed by my guests if I don't provide them. I'm sick over how much $ this is costing and I don't care to have any of this stuff, but I feel like it's 'expected'. What do you guys think?

- Day-of getting ready robes or pj's for my bridal party (there will be 5 of us including me). The photographer will probably arrive as we're finishing up getting ready, but I truly don't care what we're wearing.

- Ceremony programs (it's a micro wedding with 21 people if that matters)

- Signs for decoration of the ceremony/reception venue

Things I am providing include welcome bags for out-of-town guests, which since I'm having a micro wedding is 17 of the 21 guests; small favors at the reception, paying for my bridal party's spa appts (we're staying at a spa/resort) and hair/makeup. Any opinions on this?


Latest activity by Tess, on November 30, 2021 at 8:25 PM
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag

    I say save your money and skip these items!

    Getting ready robes/PJs… absolutely not necessary, and a lot of BMs actually don’t like them/don’t feel comfortable in them anyway
    Ceremony programs…. Unless there is a compelling reason to do them (for example, part of your ceremony is in a different language, or there will be components of the ceremony that are not typical for a lot of the guests and would need explaining, etc.) these are a complete waste of money, and most people are choosing not to do them anymore. I haven’t been to a wedding in 5+ years that have had them.
    Signage… like the ceremony programs, if there is not something out of the ordinary, or hidden, or something that needs explicit instructions that guests cannot figure out on their own, etc. then there is no need for them.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    The only things “necessary” for a wedding: you and your fiancé, a marriage license, legal officiant, witnesses as required by your state, and a proper reception to thank your guests attending which can be as simple as cake and coffee immediately following with no gaps. Everything beyond that, contrary to popular belief, is 100% optional and you should never be pressured to include if it isn’t your style or within your budget.

    Robes are a Pinterest trend. They will never be worn again and very expensive for what you get. Many women are uncomfortable wearing them because of how skin they expose. Get a basic button up top and sweats or leggings they already own for easy removal after hair and makeup if you don’t want to cut down the front of a tshirt. Otherwise you will negate their expensive hard work.
    Programs are really only needed if it a religious or multi cultural ceremony that guests need to follow. Guest count is irrelevant.
    Signs are another recent Pinterest trend. They have taken over what actual people used to be onsite to oversee. Many weddings don’t have a sign in sight beyond the bar and buffet table with a card in front of each dish, and guests are not confused with the general order of a wedding or unaware of their surroundings. The same with an MC. Many don’t have them and guests know what is going on because it flows naturally without every single activity being announced, including who the couple is when they walk in.
    Welcome bags are nice to have albeit another Pinterest trend, but unless you have unlimited funds and are aware of where each guest is staying, they are unnecessary if you have guests who travel frequently.
    Favors are always optional and many skip them. As a guest, I have seen countless edible favors that could not be given away.
    If you have the funds to cover the bridesmaids’ expenses without going over budget, then that is appreciated but not necessary or expected.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    Totally agree that the things on the list are unnecessary, and I definitely agree with you about the welcome bags, spa day, etc - those will be super nice!!!

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    No one will miss those things Smiley smile they are optional

    • Reply
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, I wouldn't even necessarily say they're "typical" purchases.

    People do the robes/pjs for the photos - and I expect that many of them don't look at those photos as often as they expected

    Programs are kind of a waste, unless, as PPs have said, there's something unusual about your ceremony

    Signs can be helpful, if events or items (gift table, dessert, etc.) are in different rooms - but if everything is in one room, you can forego all of that as well

    Unless all of your guests are staying at the hotel where you have a block, I would also forego the welcome bags - otherwise you're going to have people who don't get one (or you have to go around to all the places people are staying to drop them off, and that's a hassle you don't want to deal with the day or two before your wedding)

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    All the things you've listed won't be missed. Have a wonderful wedding!

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this! Feel free to skip those items completely.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    I literally skipped all of those items and no one cared or even noticed! Save your money!
    • Reply
  • Kris
    Expert July 2021
    Kris ·
    • Flag

    I didn't do ANY of those things. We did getting ready pics, but we all just wore black tops and pj pants.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    All guests care about is food and drink, the rest is optional Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • PermaGrin
    Savvy June 2022
    PermaGrin ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I like this idea for having the "same" look on top and not in the robes! Thanks for the idea!

    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Tess ·
    • Flag

    In all the weddings I've been to I could literally not tell you anything I remember about their decor, signage, etc... All your guests really care about is seeing you and your husband looking happy, having a decent meal and drinks. I went to a wedding two weeks ago and could not recall the centerpieces or any minutiae of that wedding if my life depended on it. Totally skip this stuff. The matching outfits and stuff are really just for photos anyway. Realistically when you look back at photos with your husband/family in the future you're going to care about the pictures of you and your husband the most and care very little about the matching robes your bridesmaids wore. Anything that is a trend should definitely be given the smallest (or no part!) of your budget.

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