Are RSVP cards necessary for a small wedding ?

Define 'small.'

Also...they're not really ever necessary because the recipient is supposed to send a handwritten response to the sender -- but who does THAT?

Bottom line: if you're paying, you'll want to know how many are coming and how you determine that is up to you. Most people enclose a card with a stamp on it.

Many will even freak out (publicly, with a rant posted in this forum) when said cards are not sent back by the due date.

Nothing is really 'necessary' but there are social norms and knowing what works in your own circle, no matter how small or large, will save you money and misunderstandings in the long run.

Good luck.

I guess it depends on how small - if you're inviting 20 people and it's all immediate family, I guess it isn't necessary because you'll already know who is coming. Anything larger or more complicated I would say it helps you get an idea of who is actually coming so that you can provide this count to your caterer.

It's a good way to keep track of who's coming .. And it's like a "written" (or emailed) confirmation from the guest .. That way they can't just tell you "no I can't make it" then show up and be like, I totally thought I told you I was coming now!

25-30 guest

Yes

Since you're only having like 30 people, just tell them to call or email you to let you know if they're coming. I had a friend do this and everything went fine and the world did not end.

I'd say yes - you might as well, it'll help you keep track of the final count and allow you better planning for decor/tables/chairs/food/etc.

I committed what most people would say is a crime. At the bottom of the invite in small lettering I typed "please RSVP by this date to (insert email)" people are more likely to respond electronic then sending one out. I always forget and I like this way. I save money haha.

If you have a way for them to RSVP, just put that on the card like FMMerritt said. Or call them and ask them. There will be people you know for sure are coming so the list of people who may or may not come will be fairly small.

Valerie : That's what I was thinking , everyone that's invited are family and friends I talk to everyday all day.