Are guests allowed to bring who they want in place of their spouse?

This is a big guest no-no. I would say that the bride and groom make this call, not the guest. For example my FHs cousin's husband can't make it and she only RSVPd for herself. I'm not going to allow her to bring some stranger to my wedding, she's perfectly capable of coming solo.

I think it’s rude for people to assume they can bring someone other than a spouse or significant other. Why do they think you would you want strangers at your wedding? I would likely call them and tell them that you’re not comfortable with people you don’t know being a part of your special day.

If the guest does RSVP someone in place of their spouse, HOW do you bring it up nicely and say that's not ok? I have a feeling this might happen twice! I'm currently awaiting for our RSVP's to come in the mail.

I would say "Hey Mrs. Smith, I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Smith can't make it to the wedding. Unfortunately we aren't comfortable having guests other than who we've specifically invited at the wedding. This is a very special day for us and only wish to have those dearest to us share in the celebration!" or something along those lines. Being overly nice should hopefully keep them from getting offended, but they may ultimately decide not to go if they don't want to be alone.

I have been on the clueless side of this before. Especially at younger weddings (don't know your age, but in this case I was 22), I just hadn't thought about planning my own and hadn't been to many weddings really as an adult. So now that I think about it the invitation was definitely intended for me and my significant other, but he wasn't able to make the 3-hour drive and get off work so instead I invited my friend who already lived in that area to come with me. Ooooops.

In my case, the bride and groom were very gracious and didn't mention any issue, but they also did not have formal assigned seating, etc. So quite casual. Looking back at it now I'm fairly horrified but think about the audience getting your invitation and if you think there could be a misunderstanding definitely just go ahead and clarify it gently.

If they had reached out to me directly I would have totally understood and come solo.

If that was to happen - I would want to know about it before hand , not just have them take another person without our knowledge

So far has happened twice and we still have 3 weeks until rsvps due. I posted about it here cause I was annoyed and everyone basically told me to get over it.

I would say no, unless she talks to the couple about it first.

The only reason I make that exception is in some circumstances I guess, because this actually happened to me and it worked out really well. We invited my mom's close friend (who was really coming as my mom's guest) and her husband. My mom's friend's daughter and I were actually close growing up but I haven't talked to her in about a decade. Well, she reached out to my mom saying that her daughter had seen the invitation and was saying she missed me and how fun it would be to go and to see me again, etc. My mom's friend's husband (who was invited) I literally met once or twice and could not have cared less about him coming haha, and he certainly couldn't have cared less about coming either, it would've been just to keep his wife company. So she asked if she could bring her daughter instead, simply because the daughter would enjoy the wedding more than the husband.

In MY situation, I was actually thrilled about this. I was fully willing to host her husband despite not knowing him at all, simply because he was her husband, but she basically was asking to replace a guest I didn't know, with an old friend who I haven't seen in 10 years but, nonetheless I cared way more about the daughter than the husband lol. It was actually so nice to have her there.

But I do see how my situation could be a rare occurrence because it was a very specific situation. My point is, it's very situational, BUT it absolutely should not be done without consulting with the couple first. I would've been pretty annoyed if she just RSVPd back with her daughter's name instead of her husband's, simply because that just seems rude and disrespectful. But because she checked, it was more than ok with me.

We had two do this. Honestly? I didn't care. I'd rather they come with someone they'll enjoy attending with than come and not enjoy themselves as much.

We had a guest offer up her invitation (since she would have to call out and she's not sure she can) to someone else my FW knows while we were at dinner with that person!!! It was horrifying. I didn't really agree with my FW letting it go with her friend that tried to change the guest list, but she did discuss it with the other friend so at least that awkwardness isn't there anymore.

I would call or speak to them in person and politely let them know that your wedding is something you intend to share with the people closest to you, and while you would have loved for both Mr and Mrs Smith to attend together, you don't know guest X and would not feel comfortable inviting people you don't know to such an intimate event.

No.. Especially without asking. And the answer is still no even if you ask. We had one of FH's friends ask us and the answer was no. If you really don't want a random stranger at your wedding then tell them so that your guest list was only intended for whom you invited personally.

I definitely think they should ask you and not assume. But if it were me I would say yes. My fiancé couldn’t come with me to a wedding last year so I traveled and sat alone. It was pretty miserable. If I weren’t really close to this girl I would have declined.

I would definitely say that the guest should ask the bride and groom. We invited my husband's two cousins and both RSVP'd that they were coming. Last minute, one of them had to work so the other cousin asked if it would be okay for his best friend to attend instead. We didn't care since we already paid for two people to attend so we had no problem, but he was nice enough to ask..

I’d call and tell Mrs. Smith that I’m sorry that she and Mr. Smith won’t be able to attend.

Congratulations!

I personally wouldn't care. If someone's spouse cant make it, I'm more than ok with them bringing a friend so they're not sitting alone.

I do think this should be discussed with you. However, if you are allowing them to bring a plus one, then why does it matter who it is? One of our guests is bringing her adult daughter in place of her husband because he suffers from health issues. She discussed it with me and I, of course, am completely okay with it.

I wouldn't mind to be honest. I think since I was planning for two people to show up then there is not much of a difference.

I think it depends on the situation.
There's weddings where the person invited will only know you. If their significant other can't make it they're going to be kinda miserable by themselves, since obviously they cant talk to you the whole time. If this is the case I honesty wouldn't care one bit, because it's about their experience at my wedding. I don't want them lonely.
Now if the person will know half the guest list and won't be miserable without their s.o there, then obviously it's perfectly ok for them to come on their own. Since their able to have a nice experience being surrounded by people they can easily associate with.

We have an invitee who we just found out she was planning to do this as well.. She is a FMIL "invited guest" who has a significant other. Turns out the invitees daughter wants to attend so she is bringing her instead.. I am not a big fan of it and find it rude to just "bring whoever", but I've decided to let it go. There is nothing wrong with the daughter, and it doesn't affect our numbers..

Typically I wouldnt mind seeing as I have already anticipated 2. My only concern is like in my case I cant have any of my first cousins attend (I have 42 total) let's just say for argument purposes that my ain't and uncle are invited..uncle cant make it so aunt brings cousin instead. How is that gonna go over when none of my other cousins were invited?? Nothings ever easy is it??