Are both a wedding/bridal shower and a jack & jill normal?

Personally, that sounds hugely tacky and gift-grabby to me, but I come from a culture where Jack and Jills are totally not a thing, and nor is a bridal shower, so do take my opinion with a grain of salt!

I think it's a lot to expect of a wedding party. Jack and Jill's aren't done here, and they are considered really money grabby by many.

I think it just depends on the group honestly lol. Where I'm from, it's normal to have a couple's shower (j&j), and a bridal shower. Does the bride EXPECT you all to host all of these events, or did the MOH just assume a jack&jill and bridal shower would both be thrown? Because if the bride expects all of these to be thrown, then she needs to be brought down to Earth and realize that it may be asking too much. If the MOH wants to throw it herself, then why not lol? If your issue is contributing financially, then all you have to tell her is that it's a nice idea and if she wants to throw them a j&j, then she can, but you cannot contribute due to all of the other events you will be helping with.

We're having 2 couple's showers which sound like a j&j. One for friends and one for family. My mom probably won't be able to attend either since she lives in another state, and my MOH offered to throw me a bridal shower with just the ladies in my bridal party, and close family, so that my mom could at least be part of something.

To me it depends on who this idea came from. If the bride brought up that she wanted a j&j along with her other showers, then I think it's a bit gift grabby and she's expecting too much. But if the MOH is offering and wants to throw the couple a j&j, then I say let her but let her be aware that you can't help with the j&j.

I'll likely end up with two bridal showers, one in my home state and one where my FH & I currently live (where he grew up) but I can't imagine having my wedding party throw/pay for both of those and a bachelorette. In fact my mom offered to throw the shower in my home state and my FH's mom brought up throwing the shower here.

I would just be up front with your budget and let them know that while you'd be happy to attend, you're not able to contribute/plan for all of the events.

A Jack and Jill here is more like a stag, where you sell tickets and have raffles and play games, but it's co-ed vs. just the guys. Most people think it's tacky for some reason...I don't, but they're very popular in my area. However, usually people pick the bridal shower/stag OR the Jack and Jill, not both...at least in my area. People think having a Jack and Jill is money grabby (it's not, it's the same as getting a gift in my opinion), but having both is really gift/money grabby.

Jack and Jill that I'm referring to is the fundraiser. The wedding party is expected to donate gifts for raffles, there's an entry fee to get in to the party. Kind of like a carnival with the express idea of raising money for the wedding couple. That's why it's seen as a money grab.