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Savvy December 2019

Appropriate wedding gift when you're broke

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Felina, on July 21, 2018 at 2:32 PM

Hello there! My fiance and i are going to a wedding on the 18th of August for one of his good friends from high school. About a month and a half ago my fiance lost his job and has not had any luck finding anything yet, so as of right now were living on one income. The couple has a very wealthy family and they too do very well for themselves, they are having their wedding at a well known, high end venue and they do not have a registry so I'm not quite sure what to provide for a gift. My Fiance doesn't think one is necessary but since joining this site i know we should at least give something.

I know no registry implies cash but what would be an appropriate amount to give knowing our situation but without looking tacky?

His friend lives an hour away and they're not really close anymore so it's not like he's aware of the situation.

It also doesn't help that my birthday is the day after...

Is 100 enough? Should i do more? My anxiety is making me crazy with this.

But advice?

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29 Comments

Master August 2017
firstoneat56 · on July 21, 2018 at 4:01 PM
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I have to disagree. Gifting for a wedding has always been a thing. Not having a registry generally means they’d prefer cash.
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Master August 2017
firstoneat56 · on July 21, 2018 at 4:04 PM
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$100 is fine. Don’t sweat it.
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on July 21, 2018 at 4:05 PM
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I agree, and as a recent bride I would hate to think a guest was stretching themselves thin.
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Savvy December 2019
Felina · on July 21, 2018 at 4:10 PM
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Oh no, i'm not saying it isn't, i'm just saying they don't THINK of it as. Considering most of our friends have never been to weddings, (they have told me ours would be their first) it's just not something you think of. I sure didn't because i just never went to weddings and no one i was friends with had them, nor did family.
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Savvy July 2019
Corinne · on July 21, 2018 at 4:17 PM
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$50 is more than enough! If they get offended that it isnt more then they aren't worth your time
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Savvy December 2019
Felina · on July 21, 2018 at 4:19 PM
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Oh certainly! There was no wedding website or any additional info other than the basic invite wording + food choice, so I'm not too sure of the dress code, but i have plenty of dresses and attire to match the events formality.
I'm not too schooled on gift giving, but i know certainly know how to dress up!
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VIP May 2018
plangalCG · on July 21, 2018 at 7:13 PM
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I think give whatever you are inspired to do and whatever you truly can afford. I would never expect someone to gift me if they were in financial straits.
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Savvy July 2018
araceli · on July 21, 2018 at 7:18 PM
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That's more than enough.. go to macy and just buy a nice gift or the cash with a beautiful card is fine.
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Dedicated August 2018
K&M · on July 25, 2018 at 1:36 AM
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We are kind of like the couple you describe. My FH is fairly well off and we make a lot more money than most our friends. We are also having our wedding at a very high end venue and don't have a registry. Just my opinion... I would honestly feel sort of uncomfortable (and feel bad) if my friends who I knew were struggling brought me a cash gift (we also prefer not to have any physical gifts as we are minimalists and don't like a lot of stuff). I think you should just bring a congratulatory card and they will most likely be very appreciative that you made the effort to attend!

ETA: Everyone here is saying $50 but that sounds like it is probably a lot to you, and it sounds like you could use that money a lot more than the couple. I obviously don't know them personally but if it were me I would appreciate just a nice "congratulations" card. Or even just the fact that you were there to celebrate with me. So I agree with your FH.
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