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Felina
Savvy December 2019

Appropriate wedding gift when you're broke

Felina, on July 21, 2018 at 2:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 29

Hello there! My fiance and i are going to a wedding on the 18th of August for one of his good friends from high school. About a month and a half ago my fiance lost his job and has not had any luck finding anything yet, so as of right now were living on one income. The couple has a very wealthy family and they too do very well for themselves, they are having their wedding at a well known, high end venue and they do not have a registry so I'm not quite sure what to provide for a gift. My Fiance doesn't think one is necessary but since joining this site i know we should at least give something.

I know no registry implies cash but what would be an appropriate amount to give knowing our situation but without looking tacky?

His friend lives an hour away and they're not really close anymore so it's not like he's aware of the situation.

It also doesn't help that my birthday is the day after...

Is 100 enough? Should i do more? My anxiety is making me crazy with this.

But advice?



29 Comments

Latest activity by K&M, on July 25, 2018 at 1:36 AM
  • K
    Super September 2018
    Kate ·
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    I think that is plenty if you are set on giving a gift but honestly, for my wedding I wasnt aware that people got gifts and then money if they weren't registered. So I honestly was not thinking anyone would give us anything until I saw on this site it was normal. So if you cant financially I honestly think you can skip the gift giving.
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  • M
    Dedicated September 2019
    Maria ·
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    Honestly $50 would be plenty!
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    If time helps, keep in mind that wedding gifts are traditionally given in the 3 months before a wedding, or up to 2 months after they return from their honeymoon. Not on wedding day. So if unemployment is temporary, relax a bit. And $100 is more than enough for someone you are no longer terribly close with.
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  • K
    Super September 2018
    Kate ·
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    So I wouldn't stress over it. I think being there and supporting them on the big day is enough
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  • Ashley1luv3
    Expert May 2019
    Ashley1luv3 ·
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    I personally think $100 is good. I would be grateful for that gift
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  • Jenna
    Super October 2019
    Jenna ·
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    I would say $50 is fine for a friend. If they are offended by that amount (especially given your situation, but really at all), that doesn't sound like much of a true friend.
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  • R
    Dedicated March 2020
    Raven ML ·
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    HEllo! I'd say if they have no registry it means they dont need a gift or would prefer cash/gift card.. I think 100$ is more than enough, it goes in accordance with ur budget and they can use it towards anything they want! They invited u because they want you there on their special day, not because they are looking at what you plan to give. Dobt feel bad! And have a great time ❤
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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    Me either! My fiance and i haven't been to many weddings so before joining this site i was pretty clueless/my social circle doesn't really gift, not due to rudeness just generally not thinking it's a "thing"

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  • K
    Savvy June 2019
    Katie ·
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    I think $50 is more than enough too! I usually plan on $25 for a plate so $50 for a couple. Maybe a little more if kids are invited.
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  • AislebelovingGrant
    Dedicated January 2019
    AislebelovingGrant ·
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    I agree that $100 is plenty! As pp have stated $50 is a great amount too, any amount I personally would be grateful for. I say $50 and a nice card would be a nice gesture! 💜
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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    Thanks for the feedback! It's a month away so I'll base that as a somewhat starting point and see were we are financially and go from there... honestly 100 is a lot for us but it's do able. I personally love getting personalized gifts but i don't know the guy and i doubt my fiance would know what he likes nowadays, so cash it is.


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  • OG Gretchen
    Super June 2018
    OG Gretchen ·
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    If you aren't very close, maybe decline the invitation? Spending money on a wedding for someone you aren't close with and isn't even close enough to know major life details seems silly.

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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    Very true!

    Thanks!

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I think $50 is perfectly acceptable for someone you’re not too close with! Even if you weren’t having money problems that would be fine
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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    I don't want to go, I hinted that to my fiance and he got very upset. He holds on to old friendships very tightly. They were best friends and band mates in high school/after but i've met the guy once and i know that one time i met him was the first time he'd seen them in almost 4 years.


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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    Very true. It's a month away, so fingers crossed he finds something by then and this wont be much of an issue!

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    Especially given the circumstances, I think a lovely card with a heartfelt note and $50 is great. If you can truly afford $100, that is very generous, but I wouldn't over-extend yourselves. Good luck to your husband in his job search! Smiley heart

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  • Felina
    Savvy December 2019
    Felina ·
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    Thanks for easing my worries ladies!

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  • Courtney
    Super December 2018
    Courtney ·
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    FH and I already live together, we can purchase what we want/ need (although we do have a registry, it was suggested so that we don't end up with a ceramic garden gnome from Great-Aunt Ethel) ...and I would really like a DATE NIGHT.

    Honestly -- something we don't have to put together ourselves, we don't have to THINK about. You can do this for less than the cash gift you were thinking about and it will look super thoughtful?


    DIY Option ~$80

    --Get them a Rom Comedy - something new or something classic, either way. (Suggestions on the top Rom Comedies: Sleepless in Seattle Blu Ray is $25 on Amazon/ When Harry Met Sally is $8/ The American President is $17.)

    --Fancy Popcorn ($10? Max! )

    --Candy (name brand candy bars, full size are .79 cents at the Dollar Tree, so max $4-5?)

    --Bottle of Wine (Can range, but I'd go with $15-$20.)

    --Fluffy Blanket - bonus if you can find it in a wedding color (You can find them on Amazon for about $20, but you can get them for a better price at Ross/TJ Maxx, etc.)

    --Cozy candle (make sure it is a general scent so it isn't offensive! Cinnamon Spiced Vanilla Candle from Bath and Body / White Barn is $15.)


    Easier Option ~ $90

    -Gift Card to a nearby restaurant $50 (Can be a mid-level or a nicer place? Looking up mid-level restaurant chains suggested Seasons 52/ Capital Grill/ Longhorn was ranked #2 and Texas Roadhouse was ranked #1. They may not be into chain restaurants though?)

    -Gift Card to the Movies $25

    -Gift Card to FroYo or Ice Cream $15


    I would make sure that this does NOT arrive during the wedding, even if that means sending it later. I think actual gifts would be very cumbersome during the festivities.


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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Give what you can. Our gifts went from just a card, to $25 to $1000. The average couple gave $350, if I had to guess and our wedding was very much like the one you are attending. Our per couple cost was $500 so not many 'paid for their plate' - which is fine but another poster mentioned $25 covering their plate but that doesn't work in all social circles. We are on our honeymoon now and I have mail alerts and it would seem as if people are still sending items/cards.

    Do what you can and don't worry about keeping up with the others! You didn't mention this, but based on what you have shared I would make sure you are dressed appropriately. A few of our guests were not in black tie and they were the first ones to leave and tell me they felt out of place - of course I told them to just enjoy etc. You will likely feel better about the situation if you are dressed like others versus gifting like others. Just my 2 cents.
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