Anyone skip all the traditional wedding reception stuff?

Just try and think outside the box. You totally don't have to do a first dance, or even a cake. Lots of ladies here aren't doing a cake. I'm having Ben & Jerry's cater our dessert, and we won't make any big pomp and circumstance out of it. We're not like...scooping the ice cream and feeding it to each other, haha. We will probably have just our parents give short toasts, and people will know when to leave because we are leaving at 7 no matter what. We're having about 100 people too.

Totally agree with you about dinner. People will eat and talk to each other. They'll survive. But giving a toast can be a big deal for a parent, so that might be something you want to compromise on. I don't like being the center of attention either.

Moral of the story - you need SOME structure. But you don't need a cake. The end.

I think you should have some structure and I also think you should talk to your parents. I can't imagine not giving my dad the chance to have a first dance with me at my wedding. What I would do is this:

-Still do a grand entrance, but have a sweetheart table or a sit at the table with your parents. Allow your bridal party to sit with your guests.

-In lieu of your first dance, do an anniversary dance where you invite all the married couples up to dance with you.

-If first dances are important to your parents, have your MC invite all the fathers and daughters/mothers and sons to dance too.

-Skip speeches but stand up with your husband and thank your guests for coming. Doesn't have to be long.

-Skip bouquet toss and garter toss

-Your mom does have a point with the cake. Traditionally, the cake cutting is the end of the reception, but you can have open dancing start, your MC can announce cake cutting is going to happen/where it is, but keep playing the dancing music. At most weddings I've been to, not that many people go watch the cake cutting anyway. Skip the cake smash.

We didn't have a cake DH really wanted a bouquet and garter toss, as well as a first dance, but I've been to weddings where they skipped both, and nobody batted an eye. We also didn't have a father-daughter and mother-son first dance, because my dad couldn't attend (he's homebound). The cake part baffles me a bit - if dessert is served, people know that's it for the food and that music will follow. Nobody was confused at my wedding when we didn't have a cake. And I haven't been confused at weddings that didn't have one.

I think you can easily skip all of these and nobody will be horrified. People like to eat well, drink well and have some sort of entertainment at weddings, so if you provide that, I doubt anybody will leave angry because they didn't sit through 5 speeches. That being said, I like Nicole's advice - if some parts are meaningful to your parents, you might be able to meet halfway and compromise somehow.

Of course you don't have to have speeches, but I wouldn't trade my sister/MOH's for anything.

The first dance part keeps me awake at night too!! Oh the anxiety!! But I kinda feel like all that stuff will be the great memories of the wedding ! I think you're just gonna have to get tipsy and let the good times roll!

Honestly cutting the cake isn't really ever watched. it kind of just happens with the photographer around. i dont think I've ever seen the music stop or the ppl stop eating just to cut cake.

I do think you should be introduced. Its kind of weird to be some where in honor of a couple and no one realized they are there. A wedding I attended in May the couple and wedding party took pictures upstairs and never had an introduction. I honestly thought they were still there until like 30 mins before the reception was over when i saw them approach my table.

I agree with the speeches at the RD.

There are all types of different first dances now too. The last wedding we attended in July the couple danced to a slow cover of a hard rap song. It was apart of there personality. They didn't want to be all lovey dovey soft love song. the guest seemed to love it.

There are a LOT of alternatives out there to several of the things you mentioned. And you can have your DJ/Band say "instead of a first dance, the couple has decided to...(IDK) mix a first cocktail together, have all married couples share a first dance, and leave the dance floor based on years married (longest married couple is left behind, then ask them for a word of advice, and give your bouquet to the wife)" so that people realize that something different is happening and will still no when to leave LOL.

You don't have to do things you don't like. Your wedding should absolutely be you. But I do think some amount of structure is good so that people aren't in fact sitting around waiting for things to happen that aren't going to happen.

You absolutely can do that! I went to a wedding a few weeks ago that was like that. The reception was totally chill. No one got up and spoke, the bride and groom were just there hanging out with people talking when we got there...no introductions. No bouquet/garter/cake cutting. No one even annouced when food was ready. It was a buffet styles and word just kind of got around that food was out. It was , without a doubt, the most fun wedding I have ever been to. No one missed all those "traditional" things...it was more about having a good time with friends and family than making the couple the center of attention.

I am leaving out a lot of these things. FH and I are doing a first dance and our MOH and Best "maid" (not sure what to call her yet) are making speeches...but thats it as far as traditional stuff goes.

Thanks for the advice and some great ideas! I don't want to miss out on any memories or things that are important to others, but I also know I don't want to be stressed/anxious about things.

FFW- Our ceremony music will be 90's rap songs played by a string quartet!

MrJones - exactly what I want! Just chill and have fun and it's just one big fun party with all of my favorite people.

I did exactly that.

We were introduced because I felt it would be more awkward to just walk in. My FIL introduced us and we went straight to the parents to hug them. I then took up the mic and thanked everyone for coming and how much they meant to us, then I introduced our niece to say Grace and told everyone to please eat and enjoy themselves. No speeches or toasts, no first dance, no cake cutting, no bouquet/garter toss. It was very relaxed.

Girl, do you!! We aren't having a cake. We will dance and some folks will probably say some stuff during dinner, but the rest of it is pretty casual and free form.

I didn't have an speeches. Me and my FH did a quick thank you speech at the end of the night and that's it.

Your reception is 100% customizable to what you want. The wedding police aren't going to come around and take you away for not throwing the bouquet. Just check with your VIPs first though to make sure they won't miss out on having the things you don't want (speeches, parent dances).

Personally I can't stand the hell that is groom-with-his-head-up-his-wife's-skirt-for-the-garter (I even cringe when I see photos) and we didn't do a bouquet toss either.

We just called ours an open house, none of the traditional stuff, and drifted around chatting with our friends. It was perfect for us. Don't regret it one bit, and neither did my parents.