Anyone have a fiance that is too involved in your wedding planning?

I would say the grass isnt always greener.
I have planned 99.5% of our wedding by myself just because my FH is not a planner or decisive and it has been rough feeling like i dont have a partner in the process.

Try talking it out and telling him how his approach is giving you anxiety but I would say dont try to make him feel bad or stop - it is his day after all

His day TOO ** I meant to say

View Quoted Comment Thanks Kate. I will try, but boy oh boy is it tough not to lose it. You're right it is his day too. Thanks for your response.

With the paying ahead, you could remind him that keeping back the balance until it is due/after you get the service is incentive to the vendor to deliver what they promised, as they promised. There are enough horror stories of people paying in full in advance and the vendor vanishing and never returning their money. I'm guessing that would be something he is keen to avoid so reframing the payments that way might help. As for wanting to be part of everything, it may be crazy but it is his day too. Maybe talk to him and see if there is something that he doesnt care as much about or that you really want to be a surprise for him that day (like your dress and accessories, etc) and ask him to give you full control over those - remind him that it is your day too and these things mean a lot more to you on a regular basis or are something you have had a specific vision for since you were little, etc. And then give him things he can do without your input (his outfit?) and step back completely from those items - just make them equal to the parts you have claimed.

Be grateful your fiancé is interested in planning. I agree all vendors should be paid in advance. I went to a wedding and the bride and groom was paying the vendors instead of focusing on their day.
Give your fiancé a list of things he can be in charge of that way he is included. Things that you don’t want to do. Example have him look for photo booth or photographers and linen prices.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Tracy. We did hire a day of coordinator who will handle paying all of the final balances to vendors the day of the wedding so that we don't have to deal with this.

I told my fiance that we shouldn't pay any vendors in full ahead of our wedding day except for the venue of course. I heard a many horror stories of vendors being paid in full in advance of the wedding and then the vendors ended up running off with the couples' money without delivering a service. Scary!

l will take your advice of giving him a list of things to take care of. That should keep him busy for a while. LOL.

Thanks for your response and great advice.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Jennifer. Yes, I am keeping him out of my wedding attire and accessories. Great idea of giving him things that he can do without my input. I am coming up with a list now. LOL.

Thanks for your response.

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You're welcome. I'm sure your day will be amazing and feel even more special because you know that he was just excited about the event and put part of himself into it too.

It could be worse! He could be completely separated from the wedding planning process like mine is. My guy asked me the other day what our venue name was. We’re getting married in 26 days. 🤦🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Ingrid, I would take just a little bit of that if I could. He is driving me nuts!

Personally I think all the details of the wedding SHOULD be planned together. Why would he be any less involved than you, it's his wedding too. FH and I discuss all the details before we make a decision, we meet/skype/call vendors together because we both need to be comfortable and happy with them and we enjoy working as a team just like we intend to for our marriage.

As far as the money goes, we have to pay all our vendors before the day anyway. We won't pay much earlier than the due dates though because we'd rather earn the interest on it

I actually agree with your husband 200 percent. We get a free face to face with our DJ. Plus we are paying everything offf as we go. That means we have to do a ton of searching for best prices and make cuts.i have not seen a vendor that lets you not pay them in full by the wedding.

My FH is involved in every single detail and I love it. This is his day just as much as mine and I love planning it with my best friend. Planning everything together has made our engagement so enjoyable. Even when we decided to change everything about our wedding 10 months out, we were still totally on the same page. He has been to every vendor apt, stops what hes doing any time i wanna talk wedding talk, gives opinions and suggestions and lets his wants be known, does research.....hes just amazing and I truly appreciate him.

I planned most of our wedding solo. While his opinions may be stressful, be grateful he has them. Maybe try splitting the tasks - you talk to the DJ and he talks to the photographer. Talk about what you want as a couple before reaching out to the vendors.

That's a good thing. Now I do understand about debt but just have all the money set aside for the balances and that will not be a problem! I would let him pick a few things to take over and if you trust his judgement then you are good. I would let him do the dj stuff, his groomsmen, transportation and other men type of stuff. My FH knows that I have a good eye for decor, so I'm dressing him and I for our wedding, we are not doing BM and GM FH loves music so he is doing that. We both collaborated on food and our cake. We are not strong drinkers so we are doing our favorite beer and wine. HM is where he proposed. Gurl ya'll got this!!!!!!!!

I understand what it is that you are saying my husband put it in my hand for the decisions as he always does he just hands me the money to do whatever it is we or sometime I have come up with. He is always there financially.

I wish mine was a bit like yours. He has not been involved at all, only when I ask specific questions. It is a destination wedding and the planner is doing everything but still. We are getting married in 6 days and he really doesn’t remember the name of the venue or of our planner. 😝

I would just try to be grateful that he wants to help you and be a part of the process. Not every man does that so take it as a good thing. Keep in mind it's his wedding too. There's a stereotype of women dreaming of their wedding day all their lives but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about it and has a vision for his special day too.

Would you want him to say that you’re too involved in wedding planning? It’s just as much his day as it is yours so unless he’s dictating what you should be wearing, I don’t think there’s such a thing as the groom being too involved.

We always want what we don’t have.

I know it’s frustrating but try to be more patient with him.

This is his wedding day too and he cares.

I’m sure there’s plenty of ladies here that can attest to the fact that they wish their fiancé was MORE involved.