Anyone else have family that is not coming/not supportive?

I'm sorry you won't have your family there.

Is there a reason they don't support your marriage to FW/FH?

I'm so sorry that is happening! I hope they come around and see what you see in him.

Do you know what their complaints are about your FI? Is there a possibility that they are correct? Sometimes others can see things that we're too blinded by love to see.

That's terrible!! Have you tried talking about it to them? I am so sorry!

I'm so sorry to hear that your family isn't supportive. What is the reason they don't like your SO? Have you tried talking to them about this?

I didn't want to ask what Nancy had the courage to ask, but she's right. I'm very much a live and let live, "I don't have to live with him/her" type of mother. However, there are a few things that would cause me to be honest with either of my children when it came to their choice of life partner. Would I refuse to go to their wedding? Well, I would if the other partner had murdered someone, copped a plea, served their time and was released. There are several other crimes -- regardless of how old -- that are deal breakers for me as well, but listing them isn't required.

If this is something else -- race, gender, personality -- then you have my sympathies. Would it be too much to ask what they disapprove of?

It's not really anything that has to do with him. They want me to marry someone that is of the same religion I was raised in and he is not. I don't even practice it anymore. We have a 5 yr old together so it's not like he is a new guy. We were previously just co parenting but we worked out our differences and decided to be a family.

My mum has yet to comment on our engagement and I'm not entirely sure she will come. She made some comments to a friend of mine that she won't, but she told my brother she will. We stayed with her last year when visiting my hometown (which is in Switzerland, so she's a continent away) and somehow decided that she doesn't like my FH. She doesn't like a lot of people, so it's definitely nothing personal. Everybody else loves him. It hurts not having her support, but I change between being hurt and being in a IDGAF mode about her.

Is it only the religious thing with your parents or are they maybe also worried because it sounds like there might have been difficulties in the past (you mention that you worked out your differences). Could they meet him again and see that you are good together? That he is really the one that makes you happy?

I would think they'd be happy that their grandchild's parents have worked things out and decided to get married. As your child's father, he's part of the family anyway and will be for the foreseeable future.

Have they spent any time with the 3 of you lately to see how you function as a family?

My husband and I were raised in 2 different religions, but neither family had a problem with it.

I've done many weddings where one of the sets of parents refuses to come, and I always think it's sad; you can't take that action back.

Can you talk to them about this? It's very important, especially if you have a child....

I have several family members that will not attend based solely on the fact he DH is white. Their loss. He is an awesome friend, husband and father. Considering you are an only child, I would seriously speak with your parents and let them know you respect their decision to not approve of your relationship, but to please reconsider not attending the wedding.

Oh, I see. I am so sorry. Please tell me that they don't visit this belief on their granddaughter. If you can speak to them and explain it through her eyes, they might begin to see through their cloud of religious dogma. How will they explain their absence at your wedding to their granddaughter -- HIS daughter -- once she hits 10 or 12 years of age (and don't cover for them with "they couldn't make the trip". They own this because they bought it)? How is that conversation going to sound? "Well, you see sweetie, your father is an unbeliever...". It will go downhill from there, and your daughter is going to be very defensive from the outset -- moreso as she grows up.

Your desire is to be a connected family -- something you already are by choice (if not by license). If they could truly think of her and how their behavior will affect her emotionally -- if not spiritually (I can almost hear, "I don't want anything to do with your religion..."), they might realize that there will be a hefty price to pay in the future, and they won't be the only ones paying it. Their granddaughter will pay it as well (and as a grandmother, I can tell you that there is not much I wouldn't do for that little guy. He is my heart).

Besides that, this tactic doesn't work. I had a friend who was engaged to be married to the son of a wealthy business owner (back in the mid-1980's). This delighted my friend's parents because they were among the social elite in their southern town. However, my friend was going through the motions. She met another man while engaged and fell in love with him. Was he rough around the edges? Hell, yes. He came from the mountains in upstate NY, and his parents weren't interested in social status. She broke it off with the original fiance and told her parents she intended to marry Mr. New York. Her parents thought threatening to cancel her opulent, society page wedding would cause her to change her mind. It didn't. Then they thought that threatening to boycott her wedding to Mr. New York would do the trick. It didn't. She married Mr. New York, and her parents did not attend. Now, Mr. New York had a lot of shortcomings, but she's still married to him 30 years later (and according to her, she's happy). Her parents can't change the past, and their decision did strain things for quite a while.

This is permanent. It's like not attending a close family member's funeral. There is no way to go back and change it, and everyone knows what you did.

I'm sorry this is going on. Like the other ladies have said, try calmly taking to your parents and family about this. Let them know you understand their position but you would still love for them to be there. My husband's adult children when throwing tantrums said they didn't want to be invited to our wedding, so we respected that. Now they're mad they weren't invited. I would send invitations to your family, and it will be up to them to make that choice. You still have some time, so I hope they come around for you. Edited..spelling

I really don't talk to my only sister, so I did not invite her to the wedding, but I did invite her ex-husband and my 16 year old nephew (he lives with his dad)-neither are coming. They didn't say why. None of my aunts or uncles are attending. They are all older and spread out across the country.

FH's is in the same boat. His dad and step-mom are coming and that's it. He is estranged from his biological mother and we did not invite her. The rest of his family declined. They live in Florida and Alabama.

Neither of my parents are coming to the wedding but because they don't approve of me. I finally realized that I can't make grown adults do anything they don't want to. In my case the relationships were just so toxic that I had to end them and am now just trying to focus on the people who will be there with us.

I didn't have family come because I didn't invite them.

If any of my family members wanted to protest my wedding because of race or religion, they'd be out if my life for good. I have no room in my life for bigots, parents or not.