Anyone else have an annoying momzilla????

Try explaining to her that you very much appreciate her help with money & her advice/ideas. But she isnt paying for the WHOLE wedding, she doesnt get to change or advice you to change details. The only things your parents have say so in are food & drink, since they're paying for that. Everything else is off limits. If she doesnt want to understand that, stop discussing wedding plans, only talk about food & drink menu. If she tries to talk more, move the conversation onto something else.

That's what I have to do. FH & I are paying for everything. I wont even bring up WR conversation, my mom will. I'll stick to what I've planned so far, what's a maybe. Then she tries to tell me what she thinks, how her ideas are better. "oh I dont know about that" about my ideas. When this starts happening, I just say "well that's what we want" or "well I'll think about it but I'm really happy with what I'm planning" & move on.

You're right. I think it's hard for me because I still live at home unfortunately.

My mom started out as a momzilla. She even threw a hugh momzilla tantrum because I shared a picture of my dress with my future mother in law who is dying to be included in the wedding plans! (She has four boys and will never get to be the mother of the bride). I know maybe I should have shared with my mom what I was going to do (20/20 hindsight ya know?) but it's still my dress and my wedding. After that whole blow up, we talked it over and I thought we had fixed the situation, but she just quit helping me. She has a lot on her but it's still really frustrating. I don't know which is worse: Having a momzilla, or a mom who couldn't care less.

I have the opposite! My mum is so disinterested, it is quite disheartening at times!

Oh my mom definitely needs a tranquilizer. she's NUTS!!! i'm waiting to go home and talk to her face to face to start telling her NO

I got that you're annoyed but at least you have her there to help. I recently lost my mom and would love to have her here to help.

Just remember that she's excited that you are getting married and just wants to be involved.

Is she saying that you need to order 100 place cards (for example)? Because you should over order - stuff will get bent, people will want one to keep etc.

Can you give her one thing to be in charge of? Say, picking out the programs (or something else small)?

Like my sister says, my mom likes to go around popping balloons. You get all excited about something and BAM, she rains on your parade.

I'm 35 and have 2 kids of my own. I find it a lot easier now to just let whatever she says go, but it wasn't always this easy. I also stopped telling her so much.

"If you always do, what you have always done, you will always get, what you have always got."

In other words, every time you tell your mom something she has something negative to say, realize that's how it is and STOP your action which causes her (predictable) reaction.

My parents are helping us too, with most of the wedding in fact (we lucked out big time!). My mom definitely has opinions on how certain things should go and we don't always agree. But she's also come up with some good ideas that I wouldn't have come up with on my own.

Your mom probably means well and may just think she's being helpful, rather than taking over. I would just tell her that you appreciate her help because it means you'll be able to have the wedding YOU want - that's what helping is supposed to be, right?

My mom has always been a momzilla with everything in my life. my dad actually jokingly said i wish you luck with your mother after i got engaged. we have really just been booking everything and then telling her about it after to avoid anything. the only thing i involved her so far was the dress. but she knows my style and what looks good on me so it wasnt terrible. she just gets very nit picky and annoying that i loose it sometimes on her. i know she means well but its like back off im not 5 anymore!

@paris do we have the same mom because mine is like that! whenever good news comes to me she always has something negative to say.

My mom started out disinterested, because FH and I were doing everything ourselves. Then we found this caterer and she came across the menu and then all hell broke lose. She fell in love with it and now my parents are helping pay for it. We like it too, so it's not like we are being forced or anything but still.

I know she means well (sometimes), but ultimately I know why she does these things. She's afraid of what family/friends will think and that really, REALLY bothers me. It's none of their business, they are getting free food (A LOT OF IT) so they need to sit down and relax or leave.

@bittsey no, I'm keeping track of ordering more. It's more like she keeps insisting on things. For example, I'm trying to come up with the number of people for the caterer and we got the quote back. She goes to me "That number is for 100 people right?" I go no. That number is for 85 because that's the number of people we are inviting.

Then she's all worried if food is going to be left over. We are doing buffet. Uh, how the hell do I know??? I really doubt they make exactly 85 pieces of something.

Kelly S. - Sorry to hear that you're dealing with that!! I'm very fortunate in that my mom has been on board with everything we've chosen so far...

But, the way I have dealt with others that have really tried to force their own ideas/suggestions on us is to simply listen and reply with something along the lines of "Thanks for that idea! We'll definitely have to think about that!" I find that if you start having to get forceful with people and tell them "No, that's not what we're doing, stop suggesting things we don't want." Things usually start to escalate and then everyone gets upset.

So, keep a cool head, smile, thank her for her advice and then go on with whatever planning you and your fiance intend on following through with!

Best of luck!!

Thanks Katie F! I'm trying to do that. But like I said, I still live at home, so sometimes it can very hard to keep cool.

I'm not sure I would call my mom a "momzilla," but I definitely have moments where I feel like she's overly involved. For instance, I just got access to our engagement pictures to proof and choose, and she said she wanted to see them. I told her she had to wait until FH saw them, and she says "but I'm paying for all this stuff." Really? I hadn't forgotten, but it's still OUR wedding, not yours! Ugh...

I just have to remind myself that I love her, and she is paying for our wedding - which will be much nicer than if we were paying for it ourselves, lol. Try to be patient, good luck!

Mine totally has her moments.

She FREAKED out when I told her we were going with a band instead of a DJ (for literally 2 hours). Not to mention she ALWAYS brings up the cost of certain things and keeps telling everyone that all of our choices were made because "that's what we could afford" and then she rags on us for spending too much money. It's a total diss (I feel really old for saying "diss") to all of our vendors...and we chose them because we LIKE them AND they are affordable. They're not awful! And we're really not skimping! Grrr it's like there is no pleasing her.