Anyone else going forward with their summer weddings and feeling “judged” for it?

I feel the same way. My wedding is August 29, and we have not budged. I'm in southeastern PA, and it's a pretty big hot spot right now, but our positive cases are declining, and my county will be in Green phase next week. That means for our venue, since it's indoors, we will be able to have at least 50% capacity which is about 138 people. I am assuming at least 80-100 will show up, when Pre-Covid, we were estimating 120 will show up. I've had some people ask me if I'm postponing, and the answer is no - since we will legally be able to now under government regulations, we are definitely a Go.

We did have a soft date for January 9, and we played with the idea of postponing, or "wedding now, reception later" but - My dad found out he has advanced lung cancer, and long story short, who knows if he'll be around in the next year or so. I don't want to get married and then have a big reception next year, with the possibility that he won't be there (for the reception that HE'S paying for). That's just not fair. So we have no choice but to move forward in August.

But then I see on here that people are postponing, and the others say things like "Oh everything for 2020 is cancelled!" and it just makes me feel like poo.

I agree with you, we postponed to August and I want it overwith at this point so I can move on with my life. I’m at the point where I just dont care who comes. But everyone has different reasons for what they do, nobody knows why you are choosing to have it in August. People can choose to have their wedding because they are waiting til its over to start a family or buy a house or start a new job. Everybody is always gonna judge no matter what but you need to do whats best for YOU. Everyone else is welcome to make the decision of whether they feel comfortable going or not.

My wedding was originally March 22nd, but we had to postpone 5 days out because of coronavirus. It was obviously devastating but ended up working out for the best - two members of our family who had already flown out ended up catching coronavirus on the plane, if we'd moved forward with it they could have spread it to everyone. We'd initially postponed to August just like you, but after seeing what happened to our family members, we decided to postpone again to next year. I know how you feel about wanting to get this over with, I truly do. I initially just wanted to cancel our wedding instead of postponing because the weight of it all was overwhelming. But as I've personally seen people - young people, in their early 20s! - come down with it due to my wedding, and seen what happened to them (prolonged sickness, hospital stays, etc), I do think your guests have valid concerns. I know this hurts. I know it's an awful situation. I know you feel like COVID-19 is some distant thing that happens to someone else, but not you (heck, when my family members flew out on the plane they likely caught it from, they said basically the same thing). But believe me, knowing that people got sick because of your wedding is SO much worse than just postponing again. It really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, isn't worth the risk. (All that said: This is just my two cents given my extreme experience, trying to help others learn from what happened to us. Regardless of what you end up doing, I hope everyone stays safe and that it's everything you dreamed it would be!)

Has anyone directly said that you’re being irresponsible or any other statements that you perceive as judging you? Or is it just a feeling? I ask because it might not be from the outside and is instead an internal battle you’re having within yourself. Everyone has a different comfort level regarding the virus. So individuals get to choose whether to participate in large gatherings or not. You mentioned that no one said that they aren’t attending. Then I tend to believe that the issue isn’t “judging” by others and instead it’s a personal and quiet concern about having a wedding during the pandemic with 160 guests.

If people feel unsaid then they have the choice to attend or not . You could always put a basket of mini hand Sanitizer at I put cute bottles on my tables last weekend.

View Quoted Comment This is exactly how I feel. Also, I feel like postponing has been so stressful I wouldn’t want to postpone until next year and things still be weird or worse and then be back to square one.


When I do invites, I’m putting in a note that says We realize that some of our guests may not feel comfortable attending due to the current situation regarding COVID-19. We understand that everyone must consider their own health needs and we respect your decision.
Whoever comes, comes at this point. I’m doing mini hand sanitizers as the favors and will have masks if people want to wear them. And people will be spaced out. The venue holds more than double the amount of people we invited so people will be able to keep their distance if they need to.

Hello Emily,

Me and my fiance had originally planned to get married on August 23, 2020 here in GA but we have postponed our date to May 23, 2021 with the hopes that we will be able to have our ceremony then. I was so skeptical about postponing my day but I knew it had to be done because we both have elderly parents to think about. Also, the thought of not having the majority of my close friends and family around didn't sit well with me. We still plan to exchange vows on our actual day in 2020. If you guys feel that it's ok to have your wedding do just that. This is your day. It will be even more special than what you had originally planned. I know that will be the case for me. Just be safe and I wish you guys the best. COVID-19 has truly tried to still our joy but we won't let it. May 23rd Love will shine!! #journeytojackson2021

I just got married yesterday. Only had one guest that didn't feel comfortable coming due to covid. No one tried to make me feel guilty and it was an awesome day! Its about you marrying the love of your life. It shouldnt be about anyone else. You are getting married covid or no covid, grumpy guests or no grumpy guests. Might as well forget about them and just be excited that you are getting married. At the end of the day thats all that matters!

I don’t know what anyone else is thinking. If they are feeling unsafe they are more than welcomed to decline and I respect that. My husband and I had our small ceremony on our back porch and our family attended by Zoom. I also only converse with those individuals contributing to our upcoming “wedding day”. That list includes my husband, my parents and my wedding planner.

Hi dear, i can understand how you feel. Diff parts of the country are handling things diff and no one is completely on the same page, even in the same city!! lol. We each have to do what is best for ourselves and our own family. I hear you on not wanting any negative energy around your day! No one does, for any reason! But no matter what we do for our weddings, everyone will have their opinion and judge to a certain degree, because we are all human. This pandemic issue is of course, an even greater element for judgement, as it involves health. But you must stay in your own energy and focus on how YOU feel. Other steps/ideas you may consider to reassure yourself and others are:

Talking with each vendor on how they are taking precautions during this time, they should each have a detailed plan. Talk with your bridal party and primary family about their concerns if any. Confirm with all vendors they are still available and comfortable. Examine your seating chart and appropriate distance between tables and # of people at each table. Consider providing masks in the same way some people provide programs or fans for guests. Consider doing a live stream for those who cannot attend such as your aunt. Best wishes, your got this!!

I understand how you feel. I postponed my wedding, but I feel like some people are have judged me for going out to dinner, getting my nails done, etc, so I can't imagine how it would feel if I'd kept my wedding date. But like the others have said, if you feel it's safe, go for it! I hope you have a beautiful wedding.

I'm in NJ. Our April wedding was moved to 08/27. Fingers crossed we can still hold it. I am not even excited anymore, to be honest.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé and I are in almost the same boat as you.


Our wedding was set for July 25th. We decided to postpone to Feb 2021, but I don’t see this virus going away by then. We will move forward in Feb unless the government doesn’t allow it. Those that can make it great...those that can’t then we understand.

You’re definitely not alone! We were supposed to get married May 3 and had to postpone to Sept 27. It was completely devastating to postpone once already, and I can’t even imagine postponing again. We’re moving forward with Sept unless we’re told otherwise by our venue or government. Our ceremony/cocktail hour are outdoors and reception is indoors. Venue is limiting to 125 to be able to space out tables more. We’re also planning on having hand sanitizer at tables, and guests are welcome to wear masks if they want. Dinner will be served/plated. No one has told me they’re uncomfortable, however I do feel like people are judging and being passive aggressive about it (one of them being a bridesmaid). On the other hand I have other friends/relatives who say they can’t wait and have already booked their flights and hotels. I’m at the point where Ive given up on pleasing everyone, and whoever wants to come will come. This entire planning process has been super stressful and COVID just made it feel never ending. I’m no longer excited and just want it to be over with so me and FH can finally move on with our lives! Lol I hope you have a beautiful day regardless of your plans and best of luck planning in this craziness!

Personally, my fiance and I just postponed our October wedding to Oct 2021 because we felt it would be irresponsible to have a wedding this year. We were estimating to have 125 guests, a lot traveling from out of town. There is a chance things will be okay by then but the chances that it is not okay seem higher.

If most of your guests are local, then it's probably fine.

View Quoted Comment

Ya, I agree I don't think things are going to be okay by Oct. I am 10/31/20. I have to have mine then because of an ill family member that most likely will not be here in 2021, otherwise I would postphone. We have a friend getting married in 10/21 I would hope by then things are normal. If not lord help us. We have our tasting this Thursday and the venue said we don't have to worry about the previous min. budget of 10k for food and drink so that is a positive. Regardless, I will get married and hope to maybe have 50-60 people there. If they don't feel comfortable then I understand. Just sucks overall all of it.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you, don’t wait! It’s important for you to have your dad there, as long as he is okay with going I would definitely push forward.

View Quoted Comment Omg I am doing the exact same thing as you lol! I totally agree too I am afraid of postponing and than having it still be like this next year. Ughh the struggle lol

I don’t think you are being selfish or should be judged at this point. This is something none of us could have ever predicted or prepared for. We also had to postpone our May 1st wedding and 3 week European honeymoon. I was honestly mostly sad about the honeymoon. But we reschedule to Aug.14th. I was feeling really good about it up until last week when Florida started spiking. But like everyone else the thought of postponing again is seriously unbearable, this whole process has been completely disappointing. We had 160 guest but now we are at around 110. Our venue can hold 300 so I think we can distance appropriately. I’ve made it clear to all my guest that have expressed concern that it’s their decision to come and they can wear masks or distance themselves however they see fit. I also plan to do some kinda zoom for those who don’t feel comfortable attending in person. But Were getting married that day.

I'm like you. No one has expressed that they think we are crazy or anything. However, 95% of my guests, live in the same state as us.. so, not many out of state travelers. We are still getting married July 11, 2020 here in Tennessee. The county we will be marrying in has pretty much opened everything back up to normal.. with social distance of course. Our venue is a go, with our guest count of around 85-100. We've been together 6 years, engaged for 2.5 years. My Fiancè did not want to delay if we didn't have to. If guests are afraid to come, I totally get that and respect that. It's optional, of course 🙂