Anyone else feel pressured to have a wedding that lives up to other people's expectations?

Hi Alicia--please change your profile picture to something other than the double rings! You can do this by going to My Settings --> Profile and Privacy Settings --> Account Image.

I think this is a common feeling. Just know that the only requirement for a good wedding is for a wedding to take place! Also, based on your other thread, a videographer is definitely not a necessary expense!

I think we all struggle with wanting our day to be perfect. I am cutting costs in ways that don't impact the experience my guests have (ie Food/Alcohol/Entertainment) and instead am simply inviting less people, so that those I do invite will have an outstanding experience that they will surely remember.

A wedding doesn't have to be huge and grand to be special. I think people get too concerned about needing 200 people to celebrate with that they lose sight of what's actually important.

Have the wedding you want, not what others want. This is your day. If it's "good enough" for you, who cares what other people think? The only wedding expectations you should want to live up to is your own.

I think its important to make it your own. At the end of the day, the people who are important and who actually care about you will not be worried about the kind of plates you used or that the one centerpiece was off center. A few people have asked me (when I was over thinking something) "When its over, will you be married?" to which I sheepishly reply "yes". "Then the wedding was a success!"

We did initially. We looked at fancy venues online, fancier centerpieces, etc. and then we decided to have a wedding that was more "us." I remember cringing when my mom suggested Dinosaur BBQ, but the more we thought about it, the better it sounded. The space ended up being perfect for us and we developed a theme that works with the space. It's still a classy event and everyone will be dressed up, linen napkins on the table, beautiful centerpieces, just a more relaxed atmosphere and a smaller price tag. We haven't gone as far as plastic plates, but it has saved us significant money. We still get crap about it from his family, but we're happy

It's your day do what you want. You can't live life doing what others want you to do.

I definitely felt the pressure, but we had a limited budget to work with. We were able to stay in budget, host our closest family and friends, and still had a lovely wedding. Was it fancy? No, but it was sweet and simple and I'm so glad we went that route instead of eloping.

Apart from making sure that I'm held accountable for not poisoning my guests and making sure that I am a good host, I have not really felt this pressure.

Its your day! Do what you want to do! I am the same, very simple taste, we are using paper plates(because who really cares about the plates?!) If you don't do what you want to do, you will regret it! As long as its perfect to you, thats all that matters.

Honestly, yes. Even more so now that one of FH's friends is coming. Flying in from Manhattan for the day. His wedding was at the Ritz Carlton in NYC! No way our wedding will compare...

But this is our wedding, we will have a lovely wedding, keeping it small and in my hometown area. Even if we could afford a big, ultra luxe wedding, I honestly wouldn't want it.

It is always hard to not compare what you are doing with other people. As long as you are hosting properly and make sure your guests know that you appreciate them coming to your wedding, it will be great. Keep true to what you want as a couple for your wedding and try not to compare it with others.

@Yourlilfig - I love Dinosaur BBQ!

@ Alicia - the only expectation you have to worry about is yours and your FH. It's about celebrating your lives together and not the china!

Nope.

Nope. I don't have judgmental friends.

@Jackie I love Dino too, I just couldn't imagine it for my wedding, but the upstairs is perfect for a rustic theme. And I know for sure that the food will be amazing

Negative. ETA I do not concern myself with the expectations of others.

As long as it's just like Amy's wedding.

Is your wedding "good enough" for you and your FH? As long as it's hosted properly, then it's good enough for everybody else, too.

You can't make everyone happy no matter what. If I was trying to please others then I would invite my 200 plus family members even the ones I have never talked to. I see why I had one cousin that secretly went to elope and another one that purposely didn't tell everyone that the wedding was going to be in another state where they don't live 2 months before the wedding.

I plan to have a small intimate wedding of no more than 65 people. I will get complaints but don't care because me and FH are paying for this wedding. I really want china or real plates at my wedding so if that means I have to cut my guest list down then so be it. Quality over quantity.

In some ways, we were lucky. It was 8 years into our relationship before we could legally get married anywhere, and 9 years before we actually did. By that time, all our friends were wildly enthusiastic about the idea of our getting married, regardless of how we did it. As one of them put it, "You could just put a blanket down on the floor, and all your friends would show up." So we tried our best to host our friends properly, but we didn't worry about whether the wedding was "good enough."