anyone else experience the competitive brides?

Ug. That sounds...unpleasant. I lucked out. I'm the only one of my family and friends getting married at the moment.

Unpleasant is the BEST way to put it. I just feel like the person is trying to one up me.. which is ridiculous, hers is more country and ours is more simple and elegant. Different taste! But i think for somereason after she got engaged, her whole attitude changed. i will frequently ask if she needs any help or how it is going and she has one word answers back. Lol WTH i dont get it!

It's funny because people on here always say don't talk details to anyone else, especially friends who are getting married, to avoid issues like stealing ideas or whatever. I get why they say that and sometimes that is probably best, but in your case it seems like she just assumed you would want to steal her ideas. I wouldn't take it too personally - weddings can make people crazy sometimes

My cousin got married a month before us. She was pretty quiet about it too, but I just chalked it up to her being a first time bride and young. My reaction was a lot like yours, WTH (lol), but I tried to respect her privacy (for lack of a better word).

That's really unfortunate. My BFF was engaged about two months before my FH popped the question to me... she is getting married in sept and I in oct. We are having so much fun planning together. Luckily we are planning diff weddings... hers will be much more grand and elegant where mine is more romantic and rustic. We give each other tips on vendors and share ideas. It's been a blast! And no fear that ideas will be stolen and no competitions whatsoever. I'm sorry your going through that though. Hopefully it will pass and she will realize you are probably the main person who will want to talk about her wedding as much as she does and that you want to help.

Trust me i totally get the not wanting anyone to steal your ideas, but i mean even basic things like how is everythng going? do you need any help questions get a 1 word response. SHe was one of those girls who was frustrated about not getting engaged yet and at the time of her frustration made it pretty clear that she would be upset if i got engaged first. needless to say, hers came before mine. but i just thnk the whole bridal/ wedding planning can turn the nicest people into the most competitive and catty.

I've been lucky and I haven't had that problem. My best friend got engaged a couple of months before me and will be getting married a month before I do. We've shared ideas, recommended people, and helped each other out. Even if our weddings were the same (they're somewhat similar, but not really) I would be fine with her 'stealing' my ideas.

Ya i think i just gt irked about it because i am genuinely asking if she needs help and being nice and her whole attitude towards me changed like i was stealing her limelight, when that cant be the case when we dont even have the same friends!!!

This is a common side-effect of extreme selfishness. If it is already exposed during the wedding planning process, it will get MUCH worse after the marriage. This is a person who is consumed by "one-upping" everyone in their social circle. She thinks she is better than you, and will continue to point it out in subtle ways every chance she gets. If her attitude is out of line, and you feel comfortable having a talk with her about it, it may help, or may not. In my experience, pointing out this character flaw only caused a rift in a very close friendship that has been difficult to repair.

Sorry you're dealing with that! People are crazies sometimes... personally I couldn't care less if another woman had an exact replica of my wedding, as long as I'm happy who cares if hers was the same? Hopefully she calms down and focuses on the marriage instead!

@ affordable, i totally think youre correct! It just makes me feel bad because i really am trying to be a good friend and help! I would want the same seing as though my family and bridal party is out of state and i am doing it all here by myself. I just thought it would be fun to go over ideas and stuff with her but i guess not LOL

I live with one...

We talked about wedding stuff all the time before we were engaged. Then she tried to get engaged before I did like it was a race. She have her fiancé a deadline to propose.. Now that we are planning weddings which will be in two different cities she doesn't speak to me.. The two of us live in an apartment and she will go weeks without speaking a word to me...

Oh good lord thats awful! I am glad i dont live with this person! Its hard huh?

One of FH's very close friends recently got engaged. I have never been close to the girlfriend. They got engaged about six months after us, and set their date about 1 month before ours. Many of FH's friends that will be involved in our wedding are also involved in theirs. People were kind of thrown off by it (the financial and time commitments). She is now constantly messaging me asking about venues, bakeries, etc "just to see what I am using". Quite honestly I don't care because we are SO different and I know things will be different. But I can tell from her attitude that she is trying to "one-up" us. And when members of the bridal party brought up concerns that she would set her date so close to ours, she basically implied that we can move oura since hers is first!

Oh well. She's the one pissing people off, not me!

Edited because i can't spell.

I have a cousin getting married next month. We are in no shape, form, or fashion competitive with one another. We both have waiting a long time to get married and this is the first marriage for both of us. We are elated and are very supportive of one another.

Unfortunately, I am not surprised to hear about your situation. Remember that movie with Bride Wars? LOL! It was funny and in the end they reconciled but that stuff does happen.

One of my best friends is pretty involved with another wedding (they are acquaintances of mine but we aren't really friends) he said that the other bride gets needy if he tells her he is doing something for my wedding.

Right! i think i would be more upset if it was a really good friend who i was having this issue with, but i just keep reminding myself that my FH loves the fact that even though i am crazy organized and type A with my planning i have never once (and hopefully will continue to) acted bratty, stuck up or snotty with this upcoming event. Yes i know its a long time coming for both of us, but the focus should be on the joy not the one upping or unwillingness to be even friendly when someone asks about how things are going!!!

I totally can relate... My fiances brother is getting married a month before us but my FSIL is such a bridezilla! They were engaged first, but didn't set a date until after we set ours. Anything I have done to try to help (they have no one to marry then), has been met with mean texts and cold shoulders! FSIL and I used to be very close, but now I am lucky if I get a hello back at family functions... Lucky though that my FH's family understands and supports me! Good luck- it just goes downhill from here...

@Katie, that's a rough situation. My cousin set her date for 2 weeks before mine (I was engaged 2 months before her & she knew my date when she set it) She never said anything when I asked her how things were going. I do have a friend getting married 3 months after me & I've been helping her with ideas & giving her vendor #'s when she asks if I know anyone. Total 180 from my cousin ( & I'd much rather talk to my friend than my cousin now) But as of late I don't have to worry about my cousin because I can't go to her wedding (final date for a after school thing for my daughter, she was signed up before I knew my cousin's date & final meetings with a couple of my vendors) my cousin has unfriended me on FB & scribbled over her rsvp to change to a decline for my wedding. It may not get better

I'm having the same problem except its my sister! she getting married in may 2015 and I'm renewing my vows in sept 2015 (had a tiny wedding at first, so we're planning a bigger one so our Fam can be there).

But seems like everything i pick she says she likes it and might have it at hers, she is always reminding me that her FH has more money and that can afford it. and she tells me i can't use stuff she has picked. its driving me crazy...