Katie
VIP August 2013

Any sober Brides out there?

Katie, on February 20, 2013 at 10:25 PM Posted in Community Conversations

Just wondering if there's any other sober brides out there. My FH and I have both been sober for 5 years, and about 50% of our guest list is sober, but were still having an open bar. Just wondering what kinds of accomodations have you made, or things to point out that I may not have thought of.

So far we've told the DJ no "take a shot" songs, and were making sure were labeling EVERYTHING, but I dont know what else Im missing...

Plus I just wanted to see if I have any fellow AAs out there!

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13 Comments

  • Private User
    VIP November 2013
    Private User ·

    We're having a sober wedding. I don't drink and FH rarely drinks. Not much of our family/friends drink. My sister keeps saying "well it's going to be a boring wedding and no ones going to dance." She doesn't know my friends though. We havnt really told anyone including the DJ

  • Mrs Roberts
    VIP March 2013
    Mrs Roberts ·

    Well my reception will have open bar pretty much the whole time.. I do have a couple of friends whom does not drink but they also have sodas juice ice tea and water.. So I think it'll be fine..

  • Jennifer
    Expert May 2013
    Jennifer ·

    Hmmm I dont know.... if there are going to be a lot of AAs at your wedding (which is great by the way!!!) maybe you just shouldnt have any alcohol so there aren't any "temptations" for those who aren't as adjusted as others may be.

    if not!

    ..... I'd let all your AAs know that there will be an open bar for the guests who can drink alcohol. Maybe you should make a "special" virgin drink menu for them.... and if you do somethin like that, definitely let the bar tender know to be careful not to serve any alcohol unless specified, or just to have him ask alcoholic or non alcoholic.

  • Katie
    VIP August 2013
    Katie ·

    Jennifer- yes Im going to have to have a talk with the bartender about being very careful about specifying drinks with people. I dont want anyone to ask for a soda and get a rum and coke!

    As for tempations.. all my friends are pretty well established in their sobriety and for many of us it has become a non issue. However for those who are invited who are still struggling a little I think I will mention it to them, just to give them a heads up.

    I was thinking of the Virgin drink idea... Id like to do a coffee bar since we all love our coffee! IDK though, thats something Id have to talk to the venue about.

    Thanks for the support btw!

  • Robin A.
    Master July 2012
    Robin A. ·

    We had wine at our wedding and H and I are both not sober, but my uncle has been sober for many many years now. It isn't an issue in our family and he's very well adjusted, but having other options is really important. I think even if you aren't having a "sober wedding."

    Congrats to you guys on your commitment! It's great you have so many good friends that have gone through the similar things to you!

    I think Jennifer's idea of giving a heads up is a great one. No need to have anyone feel uncomfortable if it can be avoided.

  • WasSoon2BMrsSmith
    Master September 2010
    WasSoon2BMrsSmith ·

    Just make it known to your addict friends that alcohol will be served so that they can make the decision to come and not put themselves in a bad position.

    Also you might consider having the spots infront of their plates filled with non alcoholic wine/juice in their wine glasses instead of having waiters come around and ask.

    Or you could choose not to serve booze till after the first dance, giving everyone a chance to come and then leave if they arn't comfortable. Thus not discriminating against those who havn't developed self control

  • Joy
    Dedicated March 2013
    Joy ·

    Good for you! Maybe put a bottle of sparkling cider on each table also. I could drink the shiz out of that stuff. It is fun and bubbly and maybe will help guests still feel festive without having booze.

  • Emmy Nae
    VIP October 2013
    Emmy Nae ·

    We are not sober but I do not want shots at our wedding.

  • Over the Top♥
    Master June 2013
    Over the Top♥ ·

    My dad is sober,. He always has a great time regardless of alcohol, and is usually the life of a party. Him and my mom go to biker bars all the time and she loves that she has a DD all the time. Haha

    I'm going to point out who is sober to the waiters ahead of time so they don't bother them constantly asking if they'd like some wine or champagne. I'm also making sure my sober guests (there's going to be half a dozen or so) have drinks other than water available to them.

  • Katie
    VIP August 2013
    Katie ·

    Yeah I think I will have to make sure that there are more than normal amounts of non alcoholic choices. Coffee, juices, red bulls, that kind of thing.

    And Im planning on putting sparkling cider on certain tables and wine on the drinkers tables. I dont think there will be many tables where the drinkers are mixed with the sober ones, idk. My biggest fear is someone drinks something by accident!

    That almost happened at my engagement party! Someone brought lemonade and sangria and they werent labeled so my friend thought it was fruit punch! I caught him before he drank it, but it was a close one!

  • Uhura526
    Expert April 2013
    Uhura526 ·

    I am sober and FI does drink as do about 65% percent of our guests. We are having an open bar with plenty of non-alcoholic juices and soda available. At our wedding we are having servers and waiters go around taking drink orders through the night, so nobody going up to the bar or anything, but I also don't have anyone to look out for other than myself

  • Jennifer
    Expert May 2013
    Jennifer ·

    Hey girl, no problem! I think it's great you all are supportive of each other and have came so far!

    I think it would be a cute idea to have virgin sherlie temples, sparkling cider or sprkling welches juice, they have margarita mix that is non-alcoholic... u could have virgin margaritas.

    and to avoid any mix ups try seating all the AAs together or do a seating chart and have seats labeled at the tables as well.

  • K
    Just Said Yes December 2016
    Kristine ·

    Looks like it's been a while since anybody posted about sober weddings. My fiance and I are both in recovery (him 10 years and me 5). About 1/2 our 100-person guest list is also sober, but some work and family guests are not. We plan to offer beer, wine, and lots of easy non-alcoholic drinks in some sort of a DIY-hosted (no cost but no bartender) fashion. Any bright ideas about how to manage so it looks abundant, classy and respectful? Thanks all.

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