Any other physically disabled brides/grooms here?

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POTS is awful, I have it as well. It makes things interesting at times! LOL. FH pays more attention to my limitations than I do sometimes. I'm so glad your wedding went smoothly! Wishing you all the best, from a fellow POTSIE!

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I hear you girl. Unfortunately for some of us we live our life on debit. "If I do this, how many days will I be laid up after?" "I have something important to do on Friday, so let me rest Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday to prepare". It's a life of constant "what if's" and trying to foresee any negative outcome to prepare from said outcome. I know exactly what you mean about not feeling alone. Sometimes it is easy to forget that there are others out there going through the same thing, especially if no immediate friends or family are also suffering from a serious chronic illness/disability. I know very well that overwhelming feeling of loneliness in a crowded room because no one could ever understand what I am going through. There are some things in life that one can try and understand, but unless that person actually experiences it for themselves, there is just no way they could ever comprehend. I agree with you on that about feeling in control. There are so many things out of our control and maybe trying to plan for every eventuality is our way of coping with that helpless feeling. Almost as if trying to see into that crystal ball gives us the feeling of closure. For example, if I have a flare up and have to sit for my entire reception, then I can be at peace with that because I acknowledged that it may be a possibility and planned for that outcome. Thank you so much for the well wishes and let me extend them back to you! It's true that even if the worst case scenario happens, we still have our partners who have willingly agreed to be there for us through the best and worst of times. In the end, that's the important thing. Thank you for helping me to see the positive in the situation!

View Quoted Comment I'm happy I could bring a little light to the situation for you. I often catch myself stressed and worried about the possible outcomes and am trying to train myself to focus on the positives of it. I am probably 50/50 dreading and extremely excited. I admit it would be easier to elope or have a small informal gathering, but I know that's not what FH and I want. I refuse to let this rule another aspect of my life, so I am doing everything I can to prepare and try to be as positive as possible.

My fiance is a wheelchair user, and we both have mobility limitations (and I am 3'9"). We had to think about our venue, and make sure whatever "suite" they gave us was accessible I refused to sacrifice our free upgrade to have an ADA room. We also planned an earlier wedding so we would have enough energy to make it through the day (I'm glad because I recently got super sick and my energy is just getting back to baseline).

We have also thought of different things as we go like.... how we are going to cut the cake since the table will be high, the width of the aisle (we also have people in our bridal party in chairs). FH is having a custom suit made and I was dreading dress shopping but it was amazing!

Ultimately it has just been small things, and you need to make sure you find vendors who are willing to think outside the box!

We also are having our bridal party SIT behind us, instead of stand, so we will be all at the "same level" during the ceremony. I'm really excited for that small aspect.

View Quoted Comment This is awesome! I assume the officiant will be seated as well?

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We will probably have her stand, as I will be standing, and FH is.... always sitting. So we will be the center, but instead of all of our folks sort of "looming" over us, they will be on the same level. I hadn't really thought about the officiant sitting to be honest!

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I'm so sorry for such a delay in responding. I had an awful flare up and ended up in the hospital, but am back on the mend now. You are 100% right about the 50/50 dread/excitement. I know what you mean about not letting it rule another aspect of life. It's a constant battle and when we were at the very beginning stages of planning the wedding, we discussed elopement. I initially wanted to do that, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't also feel that I would be "giving in" and letting the pain win. "Staying on the bright side" is not only important advice for everyone, but especially true for people struggling with disabilities.

Thank you so very much for this post. It really gives me faith in humanity. Have a beautiful day. Thank you again.

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I am so sorry for the delay in responding! It wasn't intentional as I had a bad flare up and ended up in the hospital. Just starting to catch up with everything. You and your fiancé are a beautiful couple! You both have smiles that aren't just a facial expression, but that shine through. I can't wait to see the photos of your wedding day!

Planning for the earlier wedding is such a smart move. We are going with the traditional evening time (our church ceremony starts at 4:00pm) and then having a barn reception at 6:00pm. Our wedding is a Saturday, but I am actually checking into the hotel Thursday with my MOH. In addition to all the regular medical prep for any event, I plan on really vegging out. One of my close friends is also my massage therapist so I am going to go for a massage Thursday and the suite I booked has a Jacuzzi. We plan on just relaxing as much as possible the few days before so that hopefully by Saturday I can be in as good of a shape as possible.

All the vendors so far have been understanding, but I have to say that my photographer has really helped the most in making me feel like not only that I can do this, but that I can do this beautifully. It's a father/son team and when I explained the situation, that there’s a chance I could be walking and dancing almost normally, just with a limp, have to use a cane, or be in a wheel chair, I wasn’t met with that “look”. You know that look? The “Oh I feel really bad for you and awkward, and I don’t know what to say, so I will just tilt my head to the side and give you this pathetic look of pity”? His response was “Ok well, now I know that it may be a good day physically, or a rough day physically. Whether you’re standing, dancing, walking, sitting, you’ll be a stunning bride and that is what I will capture in my photos. The love between you and your fiancé is what will come through the lens, not your mobility or lack thereof”. What an amazing relief that was to hear. So that interaction already makes my confidence increase and is one less thing I have to worry about.

The main part of the barn is the dance floor surrounded by the tables. Then to the rear right is a hall where the bar is and across from that are the rest rooms. The bridal suite is past all of that and there are couches and chaise lounges and that makes me sooooo happy. If I start having a flare during the wedding I can easily go into the suite and use my tens machine, adjust my spinal cord stimulator, apply heat/ice, etc. without having to be embarrassed or feel like I am the center of attention for the wrong reasons.

It sounds like you have really thought of a lot and have a great handle on things! You’re right, it is all the little things. I am one of those people that over analyzes everything and am always stressing about the “what if’s” I know it’s unhealthy and it is something that I am working on, but boy oh boy is it hard to take my own advice!

I am so glad that you found your dress and had a good experience! I’m looking forward to seeing photos! Not too much longer I see. October will be here in the blink of an eye! Best of luck to you and your fiancé and congratulations!

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We are doing something similar ourselves! If it is a good day for me, my fiancé and I will stand with my maid of honor and his best man standing with us. The rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen will be sitting. The best man and maid of honor will mainly be standing in case I lose my balance of my leg gives out. If I am having a rough day then we will all be sitting.

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Thank you so much for your kind words hun! It means a lot and are very much appreciated. Congratulations to you and your fiancé and best of luck to you with your wedding planning!

I've been struggling with back problems for the last two years. It affects my ability to walk and work so paying for the wedding is a huge concern of mine. My fiancé is supportive, but doesn't always understand what I'm going through. This unfortunately has changed the way I view my attire for the wedding. I've traded in my heels for converse and my big beautiful gown with beading and a corset back has changed to a light gown with a zipper to not put any pressure on my back with little beading for flexibility. It's difficult and I started to wear a brace and walk with a cane to take some pressure off my legs. I spend a lot of time looking for venues without stairs and non slippery floors. It's difficult but there's ways to accommodate our disabilities. Keep your head up!

I have cerebral palsy