Any other chronically ill future brides/grooms out there?

I have Lupus, migraines, and chronic pain as well as PTSD. I learned a long time ago to overplan but let it go if things don’t go right. I know my body and what I can handle so I’m setting the expectations for what I can accomplish low. We’re having a small wedding so that helps with keeping things less overwhelming. I’m kind of attacking it from the same perspective I do anything else big. Built in rest time, comfortable clothing, evenly distributed hair, sunglasses on hand.

I don't have a chronic illness, but I do have chronic pain that is usually well managed. However, that can change due to stress, the weather, level of physical activity, or sometimes for no reason at all. I'm concerned I'll have a flare up on my wedding day. I plan to talk to my Dr about having a backup plan for a steroid in case I run into trouble. Can you work with your Dr to have a backup plan in place in case you have problems? Something that you wouldn't normally do, but can do if needed? For example, if you normally take over-the-counter meds for your migraines, could the Dr give you a 2-3 day supply of a prescription med for migraine just in case the over-the-counter doesn't work that day and the days around it? You wouldn't even have to purchase the med, just have it on file at the pharmacy in case you need it. I suggest having it at the pharmacy, so you just have to call them to have it filled, rather than having to call your Dr on your wedding day, getting the answering service, waiting for him or her to call back, then call the pharmacy, then someone has to go pick it up. All while you're trying to have a wedding and deal with how you feel physically.

As far as what you can do on your own? Stay as stress-free as possible. Delegate tasks to your family and friends. Take breaks for a few minutes where you just sit down and be still. There was one bride on here with a chronic illness who specifically chose a venue that had a room off of the main guest area where she could go rest for a few minutes without it being noticed. Drink plenty of water, especially if you're having alcohol. Since that's a common trigger for migraine, you want to balance the water and alcohol. Make sure to eat a balanced breakfast and lunch. Have a high protein snack. Be as well rested as you can be during the week before the wedding. Try to have any projects done before wedding week, so you aren't staying up till 2 a.m. finishing up. If possible, avoid any foods/activities that trigger your symptoms.

I know this is a lot, but I hope it helps some. I know the concern that your body is going to betray you on your special day. All you can do is prepare as much as possible. Have backup plans in place. And try not to worry too much about it, so that doesn't cause symptoms. Good luck! You'll have a beautiful day!

I don't have any chronic illness, but when I get overwhelmed or am in social situations for too long my body tends to respond strongly, bloating and dizziness and such, so I was worried about how my wedding day was going to go as well. What really helped me was taking one thing at a time and trying to just breath. I had a good hour to myself that morning in the hotel room where I just took a bath, watched some free cable and focused on relaxing to start the day. Then it was one thing at a time, just focusing on that part of the day and trying to stay in the moment. And don't forget to drink water! Have a big water bottle on hand for all the getting ready phase, you don't need to add dehydration to your list of problems! I also agree with talking to your doctor about having a plan for if it gets too bad, if for nothing more than the extra piece of mind. Just remember to breath and enjoy your day!

Oh yea I had organ failure a few years ago and it left me with all kinds of chronic problems.
I'm scheduling my wedding to be during hours I know my body functions best at, I am carving out the time to sleep, and sleep late if possible, for me rest is the biggest factor in symptoms.
I'm going to make sure I eat before, during, and after, thankfully all my guests know I have health issues and will probably remind me to eat vs trying to get me to dance or talk right away.
Water. I suck at remembering to drink it, my fiance is already working on making sure I drink enough.
As for before I'll probably stock pile medication, and try really hard not to do anything 2-3 days before. I'll have to deligate tasks and I hate doing that.

I don't have an illness but I suffer from a rare nerve condition, in my face (eye roll). Like the worst place to have a nerve condition lol. I guess I have had it since I was born but didnt really make anything of it since my mom had always suffered from headaches and migraines (I had them terribly growing up). I had to have surgery to fix my nose and ever since then I was in even more pain. The last straw was when I had a migraine that lasted over a week. I went to multiple doctors and had multiple MRIs brain scans and CT scans. Finally they diagnosed me with some rare nerve condition that effects the nerves on the left side of my face. I guess my nerves and my blood vessels are too close together or sitting on top of each other causing them to swell and cause pain. What happens is when I get over stressed, hot or over exert myself they swell, my face starts to hurt and then I'm down for the count. Its something I now have to be on medication for for the rest of my life and will probably never feel "normal" again.

Your not alone. Try to take it easy and good luck with everything!

I have a seizure disorder that had been under control for years until January. I’ve had 9,000 tests done and I’m on new medication that seems to be working well, but my one fear for that day is that I will be so stressed that I will have a seizure during the ceremony or reception. Fingers crossed the next 4 months go smoothly.

The good thing is you have over a year. Depending on your budget, you may want to look into a day of coordinator or even full wedding planner to help with the stress. In my opinion, plan as much as you can now & in advance, so the day & week of isn't stressful. Plan a massage & relaxing day a few days before, go on a date with your fiance the week of, etc. Don't leave stuff until the last minute. On the day of, make sure you sleep in & get a good night's rest, eat a good breakfast, eat throughout the day, and are as stress free as possible. I'm sure your parents & bridesmaids will step up to help that day too!

I have a connective tissue disorder that causes pain, migraines, fatigue and dislocations of my joints. On my wedding day I took it as easy as I could before the ceremony. I had family members help with the setting up part and taking down stuff after the wedding. I made sure to take some medicine beforehand and made sure I had some with me. I was so busy talking to everyone and dancing that I didn't feel the pain until after my husband and I got home. I would try to let people who you trust to help as much as they can so you and your FH don't stress yourselves out. Realize that it is ok to go take a break or a breather for a moment at your wedding. I hope your wedding is amazing and your body cooperates and you are not alone!

Thank you guys so much!

I have severe Gastroparesis, POTS, EDS and chronic hives (yay!). Basically trying to keep everything as stress free as possible as well as a late afternoon/evening ceremony when my stomach feels it’s best. That will also give me all day to get ready without feeling rushed. If I need a break, I have plenty of time. We are staying at the venue and my hair and makeup artists are coming to us, so I literally just need to roll out of bed, lol!

Yes, weddings can be super stressful and are usually not without hiccups/mishaps/issues. One of the best things you can do is delegate tasks to people who are willing to help and whom you trust. Trying to do everything yourself will totally set off those symptoms. Be sure you have your medication (if applicable), some smelling salts, and drink plenty of water. Take a few minutes alone and just focus on breathing. Give yourself a pep talk. You are more than your condition, remember that!

That's what usually helps me. I have anxiety, high blood pressure, and diabetes so I definitely understand how stress, fatigue, and migraines can completely drain you and ruin your day but all is never lost! At the end of the day, you'll still be with the ones you love, you'll be married, and you'll still have a lot of great memories.

I have chronic lyme, chronic migraines, gastroparesis, anxiety... one or two others. But I feel you in that I get dizziness/fainting and fatigue ( I’m also incredibly nervous about how I’ll get through my whole wedding day!

I was a MoH in my friend’s wedding in March and I found that most of the people in the wedding were happy to help if I needed to sit suddenly or needed water/something to get my blood sugar up. It was comforting that it wasn’t even my day and strangers were so accommodating.

My advice, as someone who has lived with various chronic illness + socialization issues since high school is to not hide your needs/symptoms from any vendors that will be with you the day of.

Make sure your wedding party is aware of any potential problems and how to handle them. It might feel embarrassing if they don’t know about what you’re going through but you need a good support system especially for such a long and important day.

Also Please do NOT think you’re being a bother to anyone for asking for w for any medical issues... that’s something I wish I could tell every chronically ill bride or groom to be... you should feel supported and well prepared for whatever might happen the day of. Emergency Kits for the day of are total life savers btw!!! Maybe have one for anyone you need with medications, phone numbers, anything illness related and one with the standard stuff they suggest!

Good luck!!

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This is so helpful! Thank you for taking the time to write this

My fiancee has COPD and makes breathing normally tough. Stress does make it worse. One of the reasons we're having a fall welling is the cooler temperatures

Yes. I have an herbal supplement I like to take when things are getting crazy, and I'll be sure to have some of that on hand. It helps my anxiety like meds never could, and my therapist told me long ago to keep it around. In terms of other issues, my FH has stomach problems that can be made worse if he doesn't watch his diet, so I know the week of the wedding he's going to be on a pretty strict chicken and rice diet. As for migraines....... I'll have my typical ibuprofen 800s and chamomile tea on hand!

My FH has side effects from a surgery he had as a kid and I have seizures.
In preparation I've been training more of my bridesmaids the proper thing to do if I go down (stress can make conditions worse you know). I've been talking to my doctor more (as much as I can afford you know, but that's a separate rant) and monitoring my body and reactions closer.
My FH will go numb in his arms from time to time so he's been trying to not work as hard or mess up his arms any further.
I'd say it's all about knowing your limits and not skipping meds if you take them
Good luck and I hope it becomes more manageable for you

Yes to all of the above! Just remember to prioritize your health over the wedding, especially in the days/weeks/months leading up to the big day.

The day of, consider assigning someone who won't be drinking to be a runner in case a trip to the store or the doctor's/urgent care/ER is needed. Consider consulting your doc for more or different emergency/abortive meds beyond what you currently have if you think they won't withstand the pressure of a full wedding day.

Have a plan for if you do feel something coming on, and pay attention to your body so that any pain can be prevented immediately. As someone with chronic migraines who also faints, this is my best advice

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I have gastroparesis as well (and POTs, EDS, anxiety, and a couple others). My FH, sister (my MOH) and I have set everything up to be as stress free as possible for me. We have the venue starting on Thursday, so it will be a mini vacation with the entire bridal party. Friday evening the rehearsal will be there and Saturday morning, the hair and makeup people are coming to us, so all I have to do is roll out of bed, lol. My sister is planning on stocking the house with food for the weekend and so she will be sure that I have plenty of foods that I can eat readily available.

I'm bringing Advil for pain and planning to take it easy in between events, and make sure I don't overdo it. There's a chance I may get dizzy or nauseous at the wedding, but if I do, I'm not going to let it ruin my day. Maybe designate a bridesmaid to be on "watch" for any symptoms you may have, and if she sees them, to politely whisk you away somewhere you can sit quietly and rest for a while.

You're not alone. The trick is knowing your body, and building in supports that you need throughout the day. If you need to step out for a moment, do so. If you know you'll need someone there when you get overwhelmed, then make sure they know the signs. If there's meds you need, have those tucked away somewhere that you can easily access them.

Essentially, have a back-up plan so if the unexpected happens, you at least have some resources in place to accommodate them.