any other Catholic brides take the FOCCUS?

Was the FOCCUS the Compatibility Test-type thing we took? (I know it's terrible, but I can't remember!)

Is FOCCUS the same thing as the PMI (Pre-Marital Inventory)? I took mine today and my next appt with my priest is in April.

Haha, yeah. w/a bajillion questions. we got to take the extra ones for being inter-faith and co-habitating. And I think I answered my own question after going back and reading the email they sent more carefully...we never sent a form back after we took it that we were supposed to!!! Ah, oops!

Haha... Yeah, my FH and I did "crash-course" counseling, since he would only be home for 2 weeks in September, then not until the wedding. We took the FOCCUS one night separately, then turned it in the next day. About 3 days later we met with our priest again and he discussed the results with us. All of our counseling was a little rushed though, so I'm not sure what yours will be like...

Must be the same as PMI or similar. We did ours on the same day one right after the other. I promise we didn't cheat though! but I kept telling him my answers afterward b/c I took it last so he had already answered. Some of those are just ridiculous questions, but overall I can see how it will be helpful and am looking forward to discussing the results. Except for the finances section!

I still can't believe I didn't realize that I needed to send that form in. It's even via email!

Esther, we're still planning on meeting w/the priest that is officiating the wedding when we can. He's actually somewhat of a family friend. Just this way we know for sure we can get our prep done. We're also attending a day workshop a week from this Saturday!

Oh and in case anyone is wondering FOCCUS stands for

Facilitating

Open

Couple

Communication

Understanding &

Study

Got to love those acronyms!

Yea we just took the test, but wont hand it back to our priest until this month. does the priest go over the results..what if the test says you're not compatible? lol..

Morgan, we were going to do a weekend workshop (this weekend actually) but the Army had other plans. Thankfully our priest is a family friend and is really understanding! We won't be able to meet with him again until a few days before the wedding. Oh, and I know what you mean about the finances section... by far the worst! But you will be fine!

Cuteangelfan, don't worry! You guys already know you are compatible! This just helps you to really look at the things you need to talk about, and work on a little. It was SO helpful for Michael and I. We really looked at each question after we got the results, and worked on a lot of things. It really gives you an idea of things you may not have considered before, that will be important in your future. I am so glad we did it. Just look at it as a tool to help improve your relationship! Don't get discouraged. Have faith in your love, and use this as a way to strengthen it!

You have to do classes now to get marry in a church? even if you already did all the classes when u were young?

Sara c.- My parents got married in 1982 and they took premarital counseling too back then. They did the weekend retreat which is also what my fiancé and I are going to do.

I was nervous before we took the foccus test, but when we went over the results with our priest, he told us we scored very well and said he didn't have any concerns about our marriage, it was nice to hear! I agree some of the questions were really strange but overall it created a lot of discussions between my fiancé and I, so it was a really good thing

@cuteangelfan - the priest told us not to think of it like a compatibility test. No matter what our results are that he's not going to tell us we shouldn't get married. Like Esther said it provides an opportunity for discussion that might not have otherwise happened. Some things you just don't think about right now that may come up in the future and it's better to be prepared.

@sara c. - I know the Catholic church does it but not sure if other churches do anything. It's stuff that is all focused on marriage so nothing you would have done in classes when young. Both partners participate and you do it together. In MN we'll get a discount on our marriage license for having taking preparation.

We had the option to do a weekend retreat and then not have to meet individually with the priest, but we just couldn't find a whole weekend that worked for the both of us. So instead we're doing the day retreat and then meeting w/the priest 3-5 times (depending on the results of our FOCCUS)

It's never a bad idea to have some pre-marital counseling. I think some couples are afraid that it will show you shouldn't get married. If there really are a lot of conflicts, it's better to get them out in the open now while you can still address them and work them out. It doesn't mean you shouldn't get married. I think the divorce rate is high because people don't work problems out before the wedding. Good for all of you!

We aren't getting married in a church but are still doing the pre-marital classes with FMIL- she is marrying us (ordained to do so) and is a licensed social worker, psychologist and marriage counselor. so far its been wonderful we had to do a similar questionnaire and talked about our answers etc. it may be because we already live together and share all of our finances as it is now but the financial section wasn't an issue for us....i think mostly because you can't argue about what gets spent on what when everything goes to bills! lol

We're getting married by a Methodist pastor from a SMALL little country church. She doesn't require pre-marital stuff but we would really like to do something. Any ideas of what we can do on our own or something that is self contained that we can take to her so she can guide us?

Yep we took it ! Nice to see that we weren't alone. Just curious we just recently received our marriage prep book For Better and Forever. Did everyone else receive that also?

I did it. It was so long… and some of the questions were very funny… Our Pre-cana counselor was great I barely use the focuss but he showed the different questions and answers that we should discuss with my fiancé.

We couldn't have had a better experience. His real world stories and tips for a successful marriage really resonated with both of us. He literally had us hanging on the edge of our seats waiting to hear the next bit of wisdom/real life examples. My finance and I feel a lot better about our relationship now, and know that it will absolutely take a concerted effort to make it a great long lasting marriage.

We charges $50 more that others but he come to our home and he gave us a 3 hours program instead of a standard full weekend (8 hours per day).

Hmm interesting. My FH already started his reading and is itching to discuss. I've just begun and am anxious to see what he's so excited about. I told him by the weekend I'll have my 2 chapters read.

I got so many books...not sure where to start :-)

The priest who is our counselor is not who is officating (insert sad face - I like the current priest). He's a LOT more together than our officiant.

We asked if the PMI would say we're not compatible...but I think it doesn't matter anyway. The priest said that it won't show that, but it will make you think - about you & your mate. Some people make the decison not to marry after it - but most do marry.

I took us about a month for him to get back at us just because there was like other two couples as well and they were waiting for them to finish..... When we went for the review it took like almost an hour, it wasn't bad at all.

We just had our engagement encouter weekend about three weeks ago and we thought it was a great experience, kind of long though!

We want to get marry in a Catholic church. We both done our things back in grades school for classes. I just cant think of the name right of the back now. but I did not know that you had to do that too for marriage. My parents always told me that I had to do them classes when I was younger so I could get marry in a church.