Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

A
Devoted September 2020

Any advice for getting thru wedding i don’t want to go to?

Anna, on June 20, 2019 at 12:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
Any advice on surviving a wedding that you don’t really want to be at? My fiancé's sister is getting married and he’s a groomsman. The wedding is over an hour away drive from our home. I don’t have a relationship with any of his family members. I don’t care for them and they don’t care for me. I am only going for my fiancé. I have to drive there by myself as he is leaving hours before me with the rest of the wedding party. How do I keep myself sane and get thru this wedding?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Bride2020, on June 21, 2019 at 10:57 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Maybe there's aspects of the wedding you'd come to enjoy such as the food
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Well there's food! Also there's so much moving around and what not you won't need to talk to anybody. You can also sneak out after cake cutting and go home.
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Luckily your FH will really just be with the bridal party during the ceremony and cocktail hour. The rest of the time he'll be with you. In the meantime, maybe you can grab a glass of wine and try to strike up a conversation with a member of your FH family that you don't know too well, maybe even mending fences in the process.
    • Reply
  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    ^this. Go in with a positive attitude. Get to know some parts of FH’s family you might not know. Drink some wine, eat some food. Dance with your FH and think forward about how you’ll be having your day in not too long Smiley smile

    Have fun!!
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Alcohol never fails me

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Can you guys stay in a hotel nearby? I'm sure there will be future events where you'll be around your fiance's family, so I think being cordial is the best decision. Do you know any of their friends?

    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted September 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We decided not to be a part of the room block because it was over priced and we are cutting corners with spending where we can. Also, I will be driving us back home the same night because he works in morning. I don’t know any of their friends. I can be cordial but then it starts becoming awkward after you run out of things to talk about.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    The easiest way to get and keep a conversation going is to smile and ask people about themselves, and then, even if you have to fake it, respond positively and ask open-ended follow-up questions. Most people LOVE to talk about themselves and tend to like people who seem interested in them. I agree with others, try to go in with a positive attitude and make the best of it. The worst that can happen is that maybe some of his family members come to see you in a different light. It's hard not to appreciate someone who goes into a social situation and tries to engage and put others at ease! (I'm a huge introvert, so I KNOW this isn't always easy. The funny thing is, the more effort I put into getting a conversation started, the less I have to talk over time....) Good luck! Smiley heart

    PS -- I'm a big believer in self-fulfilling prophecies.... Attitude tends to very much influence behavior, which then potentially has a huge impact on outcome. If I go to a party thinking it's going to suck, it is pretty much guaranteed that I'll have a bad time -- and, vice-versa!

    • Reply
  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm an introvert so I also struggle with crowds of people I don't know, so I try to find someone early on who also doesn't know a lot of people and try to stick with them. Or maybe this could be a great chance to find some common ground with a cousin or sibling of his, and then you'll have all the more fun with them at your own wedding!

    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted September 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Thank you! I really needed to hear that Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    For starters, be happy they did not expect you to arrive with him, then hang out with family you don't like while he has pics and such. When we do things with some of hubby's sisters, dislike 2out of 6, or 2 of his 6 SIL, though the brothers are okay, I behave as though I hate his boss, Or mine, but have the social manners to be polite to all. And while there I see if I am still actress enough to be nice enough so no one can fault me. Because I love my husband. They are his family. I tolerate patients I dislike, have a few neighbors I cannot stand ( though their kids are great, and playmates for our kids), and dislike a couple of individual members in every large group of which I am a member. But open hostilities would make those I do respect and care very much about, unhappy. So I stand my ground if anyone is on the attack. And when with the nasty ones, I put a smile on my face and play the role of the charming Ms. Me. It's like having surgery or the flu. From the first to the last, you know it will be awful. But it won't make things better to treat all around you badly. And you would upset your already worried and unhappy family (FI) if you retreated to sullen or angry withdrawal, or complaining. 4-5 days a year you have the 24 hour in-law virus.
    • Reply
  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Just smile and be cordial. I got married on June 8th and did not want my Husband's friends girlfriend at my wedding because she is extremely Narcissistic and very Jealous and Envious of me. I stayed away from her as much as possible and my wedding went smooth.

    • Reply
  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My main advice? Dont, Be. Rude.
    I don't mean this as in I'm assuming you're going to be. I mean that I have been to a wedding I really didn't want to be at before, and I did something rude (not crazy rude, just a small comment). I didn't think I would. Nothing hits you worse inside as a cringey moment that keeps you up than something dumb you say at a wedding. That morning, I said, "ok, turn it off now, you have to be kind." But I had been letting myself complain the days leading up to it. I had let myself have negative thoughts about the couple. Looking back, I feel so bad for just being...grumpy. I think I was generally pretty good, I held back my thoughts and was just internally disinterested, if you didn't know I wasn't into it, you wouldn't have been able to tell. But if you don't change your mindset soon, it's going to spill out a little, and you won't feel great. I made just one comment to the bride I shouldn't have and I cringe looking back. It wasn't some premeditated thing, but you can't change your mindset in a day, I had been filling my mind with negativity for so long about it, it was effortless for one rude comment to slip out. I apologized a LOT and it was something small, I know the bride is very relaxed and she truly didn't think anything of it, but I do. I know the emotion behind it and I regret it. I know my emotion throughout the day and I regret it. I took something I could have made the best of and complained and judged it.

    Same situation as you, this is family. This was just a year ago, and I never thought my relationship with the couple would be where it is now. I really regret not just taking myself off my high horse then of thinking "why am I even here? These people don't like me!" and enjoying myself and showing them love, anything else got no where. Once again, this is family. You will grow together, be it growing apart or growing closer. You don't know what the future holds when it comes to family stuff. That bride is one of my bridesmaids now, just a year of being exposed to each other more at family events has brought us closer. I really didn't know her at all, I was basing all my opinions on little things that don't matter. Let yourself go from being salty for a little bit leading up to this wedding, you never know if one day these will be people you truly love and appreciate, and you'll want to remember their wedding fondly if so.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics