Anxiety

If recommend working with a therapist (I say this as a therapist). Even if someone can give you coping skills or reassurance, it may not be enough to keep the anxiety mamanageable (ie less panic attacks) for 16 months.

*manageable

View Quoted Comment I’m getting married in 3 weeks, I’ve made it through the past 16 months pretty easily.

As my mother would say, Stop worrying about things you cannot control. I have severe anxiety as well. My mother tells me this often. You cannot stress about whats in the future you can only stress about whats in the NOW. I tell myself this all the time. I take deep breaths and try to calm myself. Also if you drink coffee or caffeine - stop! This does not help anxiety at all. Be confident in the plans that you and your FH made together. That's all you can do! You'll make it though I promise. Also I know this sounds weird but bananas are actually good for anxiety, you should try eating one once a day. Its not like it can make it worse! Good luck girl!

I have medication to get me down the aisle.

My doctor said she prescribes more Xanax for brides than you can imagine lol Seriously though, she said its so common and she usually writes a prescription for 10 pills..just enough to get through the stressful weeks before the wedding.

I tend to have panic attacks so I'm prepared. I'm super excited to get married but the all changes in my life overwhelm me.

I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) so I know what you're going through, my biggest fear is that I am going to freeze and not be able to deal with so many people watching me but I am trying to push that to the back of my mind for now. Just live in the moment and take many deep breaths. I also freak out to my MOH and she calms my nerves.

Brides tend to worry about the details mlre than guests ever will. I keep having to remind myself of this while planning my own wedding.
I've been a guest at about a dozen weddings, and photographed many more. Your guests will not remember or care about many of these things. I only vaguely recall the food and seating chart from one or two weddings. Even if vendors are a little late, guests won't even notice. They'll just assume cocktail hour is running a little longer. Keep in mind that there are only a handful of people that know how the day is supposed to go.
I know this is hard when you've spemt months and thousands of dollars planning, but take mishaps in stride. There will be a hiccup, there always is. But don't let it derail the day. You planned the wedding to be the perfect day for you and your fiance, not anyone else.

My policy has always been to trust my self. "Take good notes, and trust your notes", if you have a good timeline, plan, binder, etc, then you just have to trust your self that you did it well and documented it well. It doesn't always work, but I find it helps.

I'm sorry to hear you're having some problems! My anxiety is also in high drive, but not over the wedding (yet). I have an amazing opportunity to work at our local university and get a few free classes per semester, but it's a massive place and I get lost so easily. I've been freaked out for a few weeks now, working on getting an application in TODAY.

How I'm dealing is I'm reminding myself to freaking breathe, for one. You paid people to be on time and anybody working in the wedding industry knows they will have Hell to pay if they mess up. They'll be there on time and they'll ensure your day goes smoothly, so let that stress go to them. Theyre paid to stress about it.

As for guests, you paid to make sure you have a beautiful party. If they want to complain, they can cork it with their FREE food and drink. Everyone will be fed, happy, and never remember who they sat next to unless they have a good story to tell later on (like Uncle Billy tried to get some chicken and it flung off the fork into little Bucky's face and everyone thought it was funny).

Breathe! It'll truly be okay! You're the only one that's going to be worried about something nobody else will even be thinking of. Focus on what is happening AFTER the wedding. Be specific in your thoughts, like what kind of house you want and what decor you'll have

I have anxiety and when I get really anxious about something good, I try to change that energy into excitement. When you frame it as excitement it makes it easier to channel the energy into something positive. Also, things probably will go wrong on your wedding day, so tell yourself it's ok in advance. Think what your triggers are and plan around them the best you can. Like I know my mom can't handle problems and always ends up upsetting me... so I'm literally not putting her in charge of anything for that day. I've talked to my friends and put each one of them in charge of dealing with a vendor if anyuthing wpuld arise. Remember, you probablu already have a whole support system around you to help with your big day! They want to help you out.

Nobody is going to be complaining about any of that stuff TO YOU on the big day. Someone is always going to have a problem with SOMETHING. You cant change it in that moment anyway. It sounds like you put a lot if work in so try your best to enjoy it.

Omg I have the same exact thoughts. And I still have about 4 months before my day. I also worry no one will show up 😱
But no matter how it goes just remember you will be married to the love of your life that day and that’s the most important. That’s what I keep telling myself.

I'm really sorry to hear that. There's no need to answer these questions here, just consider them privately, but, is the medication you're on a daily preventative or an as-needed that you can take during attacks? If you don't have an as-needed is this something you'd maybe consider? If the anxiety attacks are really disruptive you may want to discuss this option with your doctor. I don't take suggesting medication lightly and would never suggest it as a first option for anyone, but it is a valuable tool for many people who struggle with anxiety and panic disorders and may be worth talking to your doctor about.

Have you tried mindfulness exercises to manage your panic? Practicing mindfulness skills can help you acknowledge all the thoughts and worries in your mind and separate the real concerns from the white noise.

Personally, the exercise that helped me the most leading up to my wedding was making notes and lists. When I freaked out about something I could go over my lists and prove to myself that I'd already taken care of whatever thing I was stressing about, and that helped me feel like I was being proactive.

And of course, burn off your anxiety energy with jogging or other exercise, eat healthy foods, get enough rest, treat yourself with a nice bath with candles or a yoga class or something else that relaxes you... This is a stressful time but also an incredibly exciting one and I hope you can still enjoy it!

You're really close to your wedding so I don't know if there's time for this, but have you spoken with your psychiatrist/GP about whether your medication is working or if your dose needs adjusting. From what you've described at least, it seems like maybe what you're currently taking isn't cutting it? If you're open to it and your doctor agrees, temporarily taking something like Ativan or Xanax can help take the edge off. I only suggest this because of the panic attacks and the physical symptoms.

I find deep breathing and meditation to help a lot. There are apps and tons of YouTube videos that can help you with it. This really helps with the physical side of anxiety and to help your body and your mind to relax.

Reassure yourself that everything will work out. You've spent 16 months working on it and it will all come together. Visualize it in your mind, how great everything will turn out and how at the end of the day, you'll be married to the one that you love.

I worked with a therapist. I had all those what if's thoughts, too. I had to say different mantras/prepare myself that something will go wrong, and who cares? It happened, move along, don't dwell on things. I would get a ban for the actual words my therapist said, 😂. "Who forking cares?" is what my therapist said. If people are late, they are late, life happens. Breathe. Sip champagne. Enjoy the company.

This is not really helpful advice for calming the anxiety, but I struggle with it too and this is working for me: can you have someone you trust responsible for all those little things and vendors the day of? For example I know my best friend (also my MOH) is just as perfectionist as I am and wouldn’t even let the bad news get to me before she fixed it on my behalf. Can you have someone you trust there as your second in command? It makes me feel so much better just knowing she would yell at a vendor for me if she had to, probably without ever letting me even know something was wrong. Not really a solution to what you are struggling with, I know, but maybe some comfort in it?

Dont worry about the things you cant control. It will all be amazing. I have anxiety so i know the feeling

These are common worries for people without anxiety as well...it's a time of mixed emotions of stress and excitement! I frequently have nightmares about things not working out. But i calm myself down by saying everything will work out. you have (hopefully) hired trained and experienced vendors that know how to do their jobs. As for doing something silly yourself like tripping and falling--you're surrounded by friends and family that aren't going to see it as the end of the world and will probably giggle and forget about it. it will be a funny story in years to come..recently a facebook friend got married and she lost her eyelashes before walking down the aisle and also lost her veil while walking. she still says it was the most perfect night. At the end of the day you will be married to your best friend and love of your life which makes everything else seem less important

I know exactly how you feel. But not gonna let this take this special moment away from me.

Just remember that things may go wrong on that day. It's pretty common for at least one thing to fall out of place but read all the BAM's and see how those things didn't matter. The day was still amazing. They still married their best friend and none of the guests had any idea if something was off. If you trip down the isle it will be a hilarious moment to laugh about in the future. Everything will be fine. I promise.

Everything was fine! Some minor minor hiccups guests didn’t even notice and the day was magical! I was super calm the day of!