Anxiety at thought of changing name...

I am not changing. I always thought I'd hyphenate but his last name and my last name sound terrible together.

ELK til I die.

So, just throwing this out there, and it might not bother you..but it's something to think about.

FH and I have a son, we gave him my fiance's last name as we knew we were planning on getting married at some point. I didn't think it would bother me at all...but to be honest I hate it!

Everytime we have to give parental info or register for anything I have to tell them that no we don't have the same last name.

I understand the strangeness of changing your last name, I think it'll be really weird to change it...but I can't wait until we all have the same last name!!

@Fall Bride, I plan on asking the officiant to announce me with my full name and FH as his full name. I had planned on doing a hyphenation but more and more I'm starting to rethink my decision. Why should the woman's name be totally erased as soon as they've said their I Do's?

I'm not changing my name and we were introduced as "the newly married couple.. N and G!

Changing your name is a lot of commitment, but hey that's what marriage is about! I know some women who are doctors or teachers who don't want to change their name because they have a reputation for the name already. So if you don't want to do it; you can definitely hold off on making that decision.

I think it was the greatest thing to change my name. I now feel I am part of my husband family. Though now that I have to write it I keep forgetting to. Smh. I'll remember eventually.

Don't let anyone ever make you feel guilty for choosing not to change your name. It's YOUR business and yours alone. You're the only one who gets a vote. Your FH can give input, but in the end, if it makes you uncomfortable or anxious, then don't do it. It's your name, your decision.

I understand! I had a hard time changing my name. I am very attached to my maiden name, because it's very unique and tied to my heritage. I also really don't care for his family, they are nuts and have a very weird family dynamic and I had a hard time being associated with their dysfunction through his last name. I didn't want to be Mrs. Lastname at first, because that was his mom (who I can't stand!). I still changed my name- I want to have the same last name as our future children. Now that we've been married a year, my new name is finally starting to feel more natural (sometimes is still weird when I introduce myself to people). I made my maiden name a second middle name, which I think helped with the transition - I didn't "lose" my name, I just added another! Even though only the government knows haha.

Having been married under a month, already people assume and call me Mrs. DH, though I'm legally keeping my name. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do either, but I've had my name my whole life and it really feels like my identity so I decided to stick with it at least for now. I'm also lazy and it seemed a lot of work to change all of my official files! But people will refer to you as Mrs. whether or not you change your name legally, so I don't know if that makes it worse or helps. Thankfully, DH's mother has her maiden name so there was no pressure from there. As you and PP have said, there's nothing wrong with either choice, and people who are pressuring you don't need to see the documents, so if you're not uncomfortable with it, they can still call you Mrs. and everyone is happy (I hope)! Sorry, I don't know if any of what I said is helpful!

I was all for changing my name when I was engaged, and then after speaking to my husband and finding out it didn't matter to him and wanted me to keep my name professionally since I worked hard to get where I was my maiden name. I put on the license I wanted to change it, and then the day after the wedding when I changed it removing my maiden name (not using it as middle) I had an internal freak out. It didn't make me regret the marriage or my husband in the least bit but I felt like I was losing my identity. I'm perfectly happy to be socially called "Mrs. (Husband last name)" on cards and from friends, but for now, I'm legally keeping everything as is. If/when we have children, my opinion might change, but I've heard it's a heck of a lot easier to change it to than back to your maiden, so I want to be 100% sure when I do!

It is normal. I been engaged for over a year and I told him that I didn't want to change my last name and he understood. About two months ago I felt better about it and told him that I would be honor to take his and he was super happy. So my point is: if he loves you he will understand rather way, even if you wait after you get married.

Thanks for all the input everyone! It's comforting knowing some people can understand and relate. I like many others feel like its changing my whole identity and I feel like there will be such a disconnect in my own head about what my name is. Honestly, half the time I forget my sister changed her name so I can't imagine how it will be for myself lol. I definitely at this point am not going to change my name until I feel that I want to. I don't mind going by Mrs. XX socially but I would prefer that people knew that I am keeping my name. As far as my FH goes he's seen me struggle so much with this decision and feel so upset he gets it and he doesn't want me to resent him and his name lol if I feel pushed into it.

Hyphenating is a good compromise, but ultimately do what brings you the last anxiety hunnie!