Angry guests

I find it ironic how there are people on this site who complain about guests who aren't understanding but then the people say that they would rsvp as a couple, even though they know they weren't invited as a couple. Suck it up, it's the bride and groom's wedding

Everybody has to make guest list cuts and hard decisions. But the decision you make should be "Do I want to invite this person and their significant other, or neither?" Budget is not an excuse to do something rude, and splitting up couples is rude.

No I mean I wouldn’t be upset. I’ve heard of angry guests but for me personally there have been times as a plus one that I wasn’t invited. I don’t take it personally because they didn’t know me and budgets are tight. It’s just logical. I choose to not get upset over silly things like that.

We would RSVP no right away. We are hardly inviting any friends cause of budget.

We have never attended a wedding where one of us was invited and the other wasn’t. Why would I honor your relationship if you don’t honor mine?

Would you attend a wedding with out your husband or fiancé? For manner rules I just flip it around and ask myself how I would feel.

View Quoted Comment Keep in mind she did say spouses and engaged couples (maybe living together, but I don't remember) are fine but she had an issue with those only dating for 1-3 months.

I'm going the opposite way on this one. I think it's very entitled to expect the bride and groom to pay for someone they don't know or don't know as good as their close friends. If they provide a +1, great. But it's not required that your partner, spouse, kids be a part of the whole thing.

OP, I would not be upset. It is nice to do things with my spouse but I would rather you have all the people you want on your special day then appease my needs. 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I think this is the best thing I've read all day. Well said.

View Quoted Comment That's bizarre they would only invite him and your engaged. Let us know how that plays out

I have mixed feelings about this bc it is hard to pay for plus ones for ppl you have never met and will probably never see again.. and in doing so you are not inviting others that you actually really want there. BUT no one wants to attend a wedding without their significant other if they can help it. Its nice for the guest so I gave everyone a plus one that I invited. So I'm thinking only invite the ones you can give a plus one to with comfort and you won't go wrong.

I mean you could but some people may not want to come because of that reason. Besides who will they celebrate with when they catch your bouquet or your garter ??? 😉

As long as you’re fine with those people declining, you can do what you’d like. FH and I would not attend a wedding where only one of us was invited, and we made that decision very early in our relationship.

I'm in a weird spot here. I've invited friends with the expectation that they would bring their significant others, but only put their name on the invite. I didn't think I was being rude, I just didn't want to write the wrong name. I can understand being offended if the bride and groom deliberately didn't invite your partner, but I can't say I'd have my FH decline every time that happens.

You should only allow couples who are engaged or married bring a plus one.

I think if someone really can’t attend an event without his/her Spouse then that’s their issue. It’s understandable if they won’t know anyone else other than the bride and groom. I especially think it was nice of op to reach out to those friends and explain why she couldn’t invite their SO and she was ok if they declined because it. When I’m invited to a wedding or event, I personally don’t like to put my wants above the hosts financial limitations. Plus, she said she invited all married/engaged couples together, just not the ones who have been dating for less than 3 months and she’s never met their SO.

I wouldn’t be offended, but depending on certain things I might not go. If we were close, and it was local then I probably would go, but if we weren’t that close and I didn’t know anyone else or I had to travel then I probably wouldn’t go.

Though worded oddly, I think I see what you're saying. You should be good with saying anyone dating for less than (x) amount of time (whatever you decide is your number, I'd say no more than a year is fine) doesn't get a plus one. As for those you have never met, if they are married or engaged, this is probably where you need to make an exception. And even still, if I was dating someone for 2-3 years and I did not get a plus one to your 250 person wedding, I would be a bit sad. Not angry though, personally I'd understand, but I could see how someone more traditional would feel insulted. That's a big wedding. I understand not having people you don't know at your wedding when it is an intimate affair, something under 60, 70 people (though even here, married/engaged = invite). But once you reach a normal wedding count amount, you'll need to recognize that some random family members, as well as your friends fiances and husbands and longterm partners, you have never met, need to be accounted for. "I invited all my aunts and uncles besides uncle tim because I don't really know him" wouldn't be a great move. Neither is "I invited all the spouses besides yours, because I don't really know them". It's rude. I would NOT word it to them as "I don't really know your SO and we don't have the money for them to be there so we aren't inviting them, that way I can invite one of my real friends instead!", In the scenario you are in, I really do think your mindset is totally fine and just. But it's best to not be...completely honest with your guests like that. If you are going to not invite SOs I would hinge it solely upon you saying "I don't want people I don't know at my wedding." Some people will be upset at first, but they will get it in the end. This also blocks you from people you don't want to trying to pay their way into your wedding. But mainly, if you say it's because of money, you will leave people upset with you saying "They should have waited until they had more money to accommodate SOs, if they wouldn't mind my SO there but just can't pay for it, that's rude!". Much better to just say you don't want strangers and leave it at that.

I actually agree with this. For us luckily almost all are engaged or above so it's not an issue. But I've always been against meeting someone at my wedding. In my head I wouldn't want someone Idk to be at such a special moment in my life. I see the point of view of a friend or family that you actually want there not being able to go because of someone's plus one. That doesn't makes sense that someone more important can't make it because of that.

I wouldn't stress too much about it. When we did our guest list, unless the person we invited was in a serious relationship, married or living with their partner, they didn't get a guest. We did single invites. My guest list was limited at 125 bc of the size of my venue and I did not want some of my FHs friends bringing their flavor of the week..so we both decided that they don't get a plus one and we will just be very clear that its a very small intimate family gathering and would love to have them join us. Its really none of their business how many people I have invited. We are not doing singles tables, they will be with the other guests whom they know in our families.