Am i Wrong

Nah. I would not want to be around her but I have never been the person that stayed friends with exes nor did I understand it unless they had a kid in common.

View Quoted Comment They aren't really friends. His friends are friends with her though that's why she is invited to these things.

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Oh ok. I could totally be uncomfortable and let's say there were your exes in both of your friends circle I am sure he would feel awkward to an extent or maybe not. Everyone reacts differently. I do not think she should still have is number and texting especially on honeymoon so I do not think it is wrong drawing the line there but because she is in the circle you do not want him to not go to events where he is distancing himself from her. Maybe ask him to not have any personal communications with her but talk to him when you are both in a calm and happy state. Just ignore her but be professional when you see her.

I would never be in her presence again. Based on your description that would be a non-negotiable for me.

I mean I wouldn’t want to hang out with her just for funsies, but I also wouldn’t skip events that I want to attend just because she would be there. I think part of being an adult is being civil with people you aren’t the biggest fan of. Holding a grudge and limiting your social interactions is only hurting you and your husband, I’m sure she’s not going to be heartbroken. If anything, it gives her power.

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He doesn't understand because thinks like this don't bother him. She messaged in on Facebook. She had blocked and deleted him after they slept together and he got back together with me. She decided to unblock him literally just to message him on our honeymoon congratulating him. When we went to dinner and she was there I just ignored her and he felt that was rude because I didn't at least acknowledge her. I didn't really think it was necessary because we arrived to dinner late and everyone was already eating so it wasn't like there was an introduction or anything. I knew who she was and she obviously knew who I was. She didn't acknowledge me either.

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Personally, I don't think she really ever got over him which is why I don't really feel like being around him. To me, it was highly inappropriate for her to be texting him on our honeymoon. He didn't reply until we got home and he thanked her for saying congratulations and she continued the conversation like they were long lost best friends.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t be thrilled to hang out with her either. But what happens if you don’t attend the party because of her? Your husband is disappointed and his friend is disappointed and she’s tickled with herself because she has power over you.

I definately dont think it's wrong for you to not want to be around her I personally wouldnt feel comfortable around her myself especially knowing she basically jumped at her opportunity when your hubby and yourself were on a break, however I wouldnt let her effect yours and his relationship you are married and as long as you trust himand have an open honest loving relationship then she really has no value. but also this doesnt mean you have to like her or want to be around her

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That's true. We shall see if we are able to attend because it is a 3 hour drive from our house. His wife didn't really make the effort to attend my bridal shower so I'm not really all that concerned if we attend the party. We saw them the morning of my shower and his wife really didn't have a reason not to attend other than she didn't want to so to go out of our way to attend a party isn't honestly high on my priority list.

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Was it a fbook message or a text? Does he still have her number? I can agree with @Caytlyn in that you also do not want him to not go to events just because she happens to be in the social circle. I can understand why it does not bother him probably because he probably feels like he is with you and has no interest in her. She is in the past for him so I think you two should have a conversation that it is ok to go out to social situations where she may be present but maybe he for sure deletes her number and maybe even tells her to not text him anymore that it is disrespectful to his marriage.

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She messaged him on Facebook after she unblocked him. I don't know if he still has her number or not. I think the part that bothers me is he wants me to go and be sociable with her. If we could go and I could just pretend like she wasn't there that would be one thing, but he seems to think we can all just be friends and act like nothing ever happened between them because she means nothing to him now.

You are completely not wrong for not wanting to be around her. One of my exes seemed to be the same way. After him and his girlfriend broke up, him and I started going out shortly after (we where in the same friend group). We where together for almost 4 years. He started hanging around with his ex roughly a year after we started dating. He was spending more time with her then me, because oh she had family problems and school problems. So he started talking to her again, taking her out to lunch, giving her rides home, etc (even though she cheated on him over and over). Whenever she was around I was not allowed to call him or text him, because that made her mad, and he could not have her mad. Of course I was supported and went along with it. Shortly after my ex and I broke up, I found out that he was back with his ex and was cheating on me, well he was cheating on the both of us. Because there was another girl in the picture as well, which he said they where “just friends”, when though he went and spent weekends a lot at her college dorm and he even went away with her for a whole weekend. He decided to end it with both the ex and I briefly to “explore” his options with this girl he was friends with. After he “supposedly” broke up with her, he got back together with me and his other ex. Which I should have called it quits their, I did not. Him and I broke up after my dad and I got into a car accident and he did not even care to ask if we where alright. We accidentally hit the deer and he was more concerned that we hit the deer and killed it then if we where alright. At that point I knew I could not be with him any longer. About 2 years after that, I ran into his ex, she is happy with another guy, no longer talks to him. I messaged him on his birthday we had a short talk after not talking for almost 2 years, (we still have the same group of friends, so before I moved sometimes we would be all hanging out together still). After all of the stuff he put me through, karma came around. Even though she is your husbands ex and is in the same friend group. Be Cordial towards her, you by no means have to like her. Just be there for your husband, since she is in the same friend group as him. More then likely Karma will come around for her. I hope this helps a little bit. Best of luck

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Ahhhh ok. I think have a calm talk with him and say listen it would not be right to exclude us from social gatherings because she may be there but understand that you're not going to be fully comfortable around her because you just do not like the fact that you two once were together. Let him know you trust him and you will attempt to be cordial with her but do not expect for you two to be best buds or for there to be a lot of interaction. I feel that is a happy medium. Sadly yes you will have to adult and deal with someone you do not like but relations have those rough moments.

I would definitely go to the party and flag your ring in her face. She will most definitely back off. Let her know that you are not intimidated by her and that's your man.

I would start hanging out with new friends lol and go out as couples only with the other group. Follow your gut on this. And I wouldn’t go to the bday party esp if it’s 3 hours and you’re not great friends with them. Girl buh bye.

I wouldn’t want to be around her either, BUT if you don’t go you’re only disappointing your husband, your friend and you are telling everyone that you’re not able to go to an event because this other girl is there. And then you look insecure and jealous, and she “wins”. And that is so so much worse than having to pretend to be friendly.
Set the tone for the rest of the relationship now and go, be friendly and social with her, a loving wife and a good friend. She will see your confidence, how happy you and your husband are and she’ll have no choice but to get over it. She’s jealous of you, don’t give her anything negative to say about you. She will honestly have no choice but to move on.
If it was me, I’d go, put on my best party face and kill it

No no no. I refuse to be around exes. You are not in the wrong. She sounds pretty disrespectful towards your relationship. Your fh probably doesn't notice it because people tend to overlook things when it isn't a stab at them personally. She has no room in your life or his for that matter. I'd hate to see you not go out with friends just because of her, but you also have to put your needs first. If she makes you feel uncomfortable then that is that. No argument should be had.

If she's a friend of friends, I'd just deal with it. Group hangouts and only groups. You're married. You win. Don't let her bother you, and be friendly toward her. Dont let her know shes under your skin.

While I get why you’re feeling awkward, but I think you need to learn how to push those feelings aside. It sounds like you almost never see this woman, and when you do it’s in a group of other people. Just politely avoid her and spend the time talking to other people. It’s a valuable skill to learn in life because there’s always going to be people we don’t care for. And just because she saw the relationship with your husband as serious doesn’t mean he did. If you trust your husband, believe in what he says and have confidence in your marriage.