Am i unreasonable to ask bride to require masks at wedding when young kids are attending?

At that point, I would decline the invitation. Because children cannot be vaccinated for Covid and she refused your kind offer to look out for general safety, I would not feel comfortable attending no matter who is getting married.

Definitely inappropriate to tell the bride what to do. It's her wedding, not yours.

Your demand is unreasonable though it comes from a place of safety and concern. I would leave your children at home, wear a mask to her ceremony and the. Leave immediately afterwards.

I’m sure she appreciates your concern. But most people don’t handle unsolicited wedding advice very well (especially now, regarding Covid topics). However, I do agree with your sister…. guests who are uncomfortable have to make their own decisions on whether to attend the wedding or not.

I find you very reasonable but it's her day so if she doesn't feel the same I would not allow my kids to attend this event, reconsider attending yourself as well in case you pick something up and take it home to them.

View Quoted Comment This is what I was thinking also. I know a lot of people are suggesting she attend without her children, but that seems counterproductive since she could just pick up the virus and bring it home to the kids.

View Quoted Comment There is no proof that the masks prevent you from contracting the virus. The vaccine also does not prevent getting the virus and does not even reduce the damage caused by the virus. It is absurd to want to impose measures that have no proof that they work in someone else's marriage.

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This. All of this.

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Please stop spreading scientifically inaccurate misinformation.

I think it's unreasonable, but you also have to remember that even if she DID take the masks and you passed them out, you cannot force her guests to wear them either. So not only are you asking her to do something she doesn't want to, but even if she did allow that, there's going to be so many people who don't wear them. So while it might make you feel more comfortable, if you bring your kids and there are people there who refuse the masks...are you still going to feel uncomfortable with the situation? Probably. So if you're really uncomfortable with it, I would sit it out or leave the kids at home. Or as someone else suggested, just attend the ceremony and then bow out after. Most people are understanding with Covid still around, so hopefully she/your family would be of that.

View Quoted Comment Masks don’t protect those wearing them from getting sick, they help to prevent the wearer from spreading the virus to others if they are infected or asymptomatic. The vaccine (like ALL vaccines) is not 100% effective at preventing illness. It HAS been proven however that it significantly lessens the chance of becoming ill, as well as significantly lessens the chance of having serious complications if you were to become ill. What the vaccine doesn’t do is prevent you from carrying the disease and spreading it to others.

While I disagree with the decision to hold a large indoor event without masks or vaccinations, it is completely out of line to pass out masks at someone else's wedding when you haven't been asked to do so.

Voicing your concern is appropriate. Keeping your children home is appropriate. Deciding not to attend yourself or saying you only feel comfortable attending if you can wear a mask the whole time is appropriate. Becoming the self-imposed mask police at someone else's wedding is not.

We had a small (47 guests) wedding in an open air venue where all of our guests and vendors were fully vaccinated. Some invitees chose not to attend because they didn't wish to be vaccinated; others only chose to attend because of the precautions we had in place. Our wedding, our choice on how to host in a way that felt responsible and safe to us. Their choice to not attend if they didn't like the expectations laid out.

In your shoes, I would let the bride know that I feel uncomfortable with the lack of science based safety precautions at the wedding and will not be attending unless factors chance to ensure that the wedding itself is a safer event (whether by requiring masks, vaccinations, or negative tests, decreasing the overall number of attendees, or moving to an outdoor venue, or a combination thereof). Be respectful but firm. While it is unfortunate you have different views, you are both adults, and if you want your relationship with withstand your differences in opinion you'll both need to accept that you might not always see eye to eye.

I would not attend the wedding you are describing at all, and wouldn't feel very bad about missing it.

Honestly it’s her wedding and she should be able to make that decision. Also that makes for terrible photos. They can always get a sitter if they are uncomfortable with their kids being there.

View Quoted Comment Give me science proof that the use of masks works. It also gives me scientific proof of why restrictive measures against the virus did not work to stop the virus from spreading. It also explains to me why people who have already been vaccinated are getting the virus. You don't believe in science, if you did you wouldn't deny the facts I described.

View Quoted Comment I think you need to read my comment again. I said that masks HELP to prevent the wearer from spreading disease. HELPS. That does not mean that wearing a mask is going to prevent every case, obviously. It just prevents SOME transmission- and any help is a good help, right? Also, the key to masks working is that every single person wear them. And since that never even came close to happening, there is really no way to tell the efficacy of masks because people were not compliant in wearing them. I simply pointed out your statement about masks not helping to prevent transmission was false. As is your comment that vaccinations do not help prevent becoming infected or reduce the severity of those vaccinated. You merely need to look at simple daily statistics from hospitals to see that an overwhelming majority of people who are contracting the virus and being hospitalized with it are unvaccinated individuals. Thus, the vaccines are in fact helping. It’s pretty simple math 🤷🏼‍♀️ As far as polio goes, there are still actually active cases of polio to this day. But it has been nearly eradicated. Which really just further champions vaccines. The reason things like polio and smallpox have been eradicated is because every single person gets those vaccines. When an entire country is vaccinated against a disease, that is when you can start to eradicate it. Sure there may be breakthrough cases (just as there were with smallpox when the vaccine was first introduced), but the response to it continues to get weaker and weaker in vaccinated individuals until it is eventually eradicated. Thus, if you want to use smallpox as your comparison… then the argument would be that if every single person were to get vaccinated against covid, eventually the virus would be eradicated completely.

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No. It's not my job to provide you with accurate resources.

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This is inaccurate. Please stop spreading dangerous misinformation.

I have to agree that you’re being unreasonable. I am for medical freedom. So, with that being said, knowing her wedding was happening during Covid, you should have asked her long ago perhaps when planning first starting about the masks and vaccinations. I’ve let all of my guests know that we will not be requiring masks and or asking for vaccination cards at our wedding, but that they are welcome to wear a mask if they would like, & if they aren’t comfortable then we understand and they should stay home. Unfortunately, everybody has different views and or opinions about this but it is ultimately her wedding and I don’t think bullying somebody into mandating masks on their special day is the answer. As you stated before the cdc guidelines recommend masks. But it is not mandated. If you’re scared for your children and yourself but you would still like to attend then you and your children should mask up!

In your position, I would step down, especially since she offered that as a choice. Keep it short and sweet but no need to apologize because it IS irresponsible to host an event this size without any safety precautions.

For example, "After consideration, I have decided to take you up on stepping down as MOH. It's just too risky for us to attend your wedding. I still hope you have a lovely wedding. Thank-you for understanding."

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Also all of this. Not only is it out of line to appoint yourself the mask police, but taking into account your sister's stance and the size of the guest list, you'd likely have to spend the whole evening fighting with people, probably unsuccessfully so you'd still be risking exposure. Sounds like a horrible time for everyone involved.