Taylor

Am i unreasonable to ask bride to require masks at wedding when young kids are attending?

Taylor, on September 16, 2021 at 2:13 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 48
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Hi All,


My sister’s wedding is in November and I just found out she’s not planning to require guests to wear masks or ask for proof of vaccination. Her ceremony and reception are entirely indoor and there will be hundreds of attendees. There will be kids under 5 years old (unvaccinated) attending. I kindly suggested that I’ll purchase masks to pass out to guests as they arrive and she declined my offer. When asked why she’s not requiring guests to wear masks, she answered that she’s following CDC guidelines. However, when I looked up the guidelines, it clearly states masks are recommended in indoor venues where there are kids or unvaccinated adults. She also doesn’t know for certain that all her adult guests are vaccinated. I told her she is putting her niece and nephew (my kids) at risk but she still doesn’t care and won’t budge on mandating masks. I’m the MOH and she even went as far as telling me not to attend the wedding if I don’t feel comfortable. I’m just trying to make sure everyone stays healthy. Am I being unreasonable? What would you do in this situation?

48 Comments

Latest activity by Elri, on September 26, 2021 at 7:49 AM
  • Hannah
    Dedicated October 2021
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    Unfortunately, you cannot control what others do at their wedding unless you have some kind of significant financial contribution, but even then you shouldn’t expect to have control over anything. If you truly feel uncomfortable, I would suggest that you consider not attending, or ask your sister if she can somehow provide a livestream option.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Super November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    While I personally DO support being vaccinated and wearing masks, I would never try to bully a bride into mandating it at her wedding. This is her event, and if there are no government mandates then she does not have to enforce safety rules if she chooses not to. If you do not feel safe going, I would simply follow her instructions and inform her you and your family will not be attending the wedding.
    • Reply
  • devotedlydavis
    Devoted March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the prior posters. You have no control over your sister’s wedding, but you do have control over you. Unfortunately your decision isn’t easy - either don’t attend, find a sitter for the kids, or you and your family wear masks to set an example.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with all of this.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag

    Yes, you are definitely being unreasonable. Its her wedding, so its up to her & the groom to decide that (if the venue is not requiring it). If you feel uncomfortable then either you can wear a mask or like she said don't attend.

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
    • Flag

    You're being unreasonable. It's her wedding, and she can do what she pleases and if she doesn't want to require masks, she doesn't have to.

    That being said, if you feel uncomfortable with your children being around unmasked adults, you can always leave them at home with a sitter!

    • Reply
  • Dayna
    Expert September 2021
    Dayna ·
    • Flag

    Agree with PPs that ultimately it's her decision. You can definitely suggest or tell her you feel more comfortable but demanding it won't go over well. For a little perspective, we are getting married next week with 100 guests, fully indoors. FH and I are both big on mask wearing and always wear masks whenever we go out. We wanted to require masks, but then we thought about the fact that we have an open bar, appetizers during cocktail hour, and a buffet meal. So realistically, people are going to take off their masks for at least 2 hours of mingling, drinking and eating. At that point, it feels pretty pointless to require everyone to put masks back on, just to continue taking them off repeatedly to drink and take photos. We are going to provide masks and guests are certainly welcome to wear them. So just consider that even if she did require masks, there's going to be a lot of times where people won't even use them and no-one is going to want to walk around enforcing them all night.

    • Reply
  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    You can't coerce her into requiring masks. You are out of line. She is correct in telling you that if you do not feel comfortable, you should not attend. Drop it, and decide for yourself whether you wish to attend or not.

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Yeah, this isn’t your call. While I personally would not attend any event with no covid protocols— that’s my decision to make with the info that I have. All her guests are in the same boat. Some will skip, some will mask, some won’t care. Frankly if they’ve decided to go and not mask, that’s what they’re going to do. Your handing out masks would be a wasted effort. They, including the others with kids, will make that decision for themselves.


    If it were me in your shoes, I’d definitely opt to leave the kids at home. A smaller scale gathering with outdoor space I might be down to bring them, masked, but… given the circumstances I wouldn’t want to bring them. If I had childcare available, I’d decide whether or not to go largely based on my relationship with my sibling. If I wanted to go but was uncomfortable with the crowd and/or ability to distance myself from others/strangers, I would mask up.
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    Your thought process is reasonable, but your demands are not. Unfortunately, you can't force her to change the elements of her event. If you are uncomfortable with the conditions (and believe me, I understand why), then you should consider not attending if you are concerned about your family's health and safety. Or, perhaps go for the ceremony and skip the reception?

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    You are unreasonable, if she is following guidelines you can't force her to require masks when they are recommended - which means there is no mandate and they are not required. If you want to wear a mask or have your children wear masks - you can make that decision but you cannot force the bride to change her mind, especially since its her wedding.

    • Reply
  • JA
    Devoted March 2022
    JA ·
    • Flag

    Everyone has their own view on how to host events, especially with Covid. You're only say is whether or not you attend/ how you participate. You can not go entirely, mask yourself/family, or maybe even you just go to the ceremony and then go back home with your family.

    I personally would not bring my children to an unmasked, questionable vaccination rate event, but again, that's just for you to decide.

    If I were in your shoes, I would go to the ceremony (leave kids at home) and then leave without going to the reception. That way you are still involved and in the pictures, but it is a way lower risk.

    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool Online ·
    • Flag
    It sucks, and I don’t agree, but it’s her decision. The CDC indoor mask is a “recommendation” rather than requirement so most people are ignoring that.


    I would seriously consider how comfortable you are attending with your family. Can you attend without your children and wear a mask? It really sucks but may be best not to go if you feel unsafe (which it sounds like it is).
    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    As a guest I do think it would be out of line to ask this of the bride. It would be a big change to the feel and logistics of the event. As long as the event is following local regulations, they're not doing anything wrong. You have to decide whether you and your kids will attend with masks, attend by yourself, or not go at all.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I totally support masks and vaccinations and basically doing what you can to help stop spread of COVID. but i guess it's such a hard place to tell someone what to do. you can certainly suggest it though just to say hey maybe to help with possible spread, you can....

    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    I am fully vaccinated. I presume your children are too young to be. I would tell her I am attending the ceremony only. After the ceremony, I'd be speeding away from that super spreader event.


    You can only control your own actions, not someone else's.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Agree 100%!

    tenor.gif



    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    I don't mean this in a bad way but you are being unreasonable, While you have every right to be worried you can't control your sister's wedding, This is your sister's wedding, My fiance and I are not and will not ask that people wear masks or have a vaccine because it's a personal choice,

    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes this I agree

    • Reply

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