Am i the only one who feels this way about changing their last name??

Hyphenate!

I feel the same way. My dad died when I was 4 years old so I don’t remember much about him but I my last name feels like one of my only connections to him. Also FH’s name is super common but I’m going to hyphenate because I still want to have the same last name as my kids if we choose to have them. FH doesn’t care, he was willing to take my name or hyphenate his name.

This is my second marriage. My first marriage, I changed my name to: My first name, made my maiden name my middle name, and took my ex's last name. We have a daughter with his last name (my old last name). When I got divorced, I changed it back to my birth name. It doesn't bother me that my daughter and I don't have the same last name, my ex and I split custody and co-parent well. I never thought I would get married again, but then I met FH and fell in love. I plan to change my name to: My first name, my middle name, and his last name. My parents are divorced and I don't have a good relationship with my father, so I'm not attached to my last name.

It is really important to my FH that I change my last name, so I have put a TON of thought into this. TO change or NOT to change?

For me, the biggest factor was we want children and I feel like the whole family having the same last name is a representation of the family unit. If we didn't want children, I really don't think I would change my name for many of the reason you listed above and more!

I just had this conversation with a co-worker! She got married 2 years ago, and decided not to change her last name. She had a change of heart this past year when she became pregnant, so she took the plunge and did it. However, she said that when she walked into the Social Security office, the receptionist started joking around saying “Hey, why are you taking his name..keep yours!” She said right then and there, she almost walked out! Lolol

For me personally I’m going to bite the bullet and make the change from Day 1. But gosh, it’s just such a personal decision with no wrong or right answers. So..... JUST-DO-YOU!

I have not changed my name. We actually established this very early in our relationship, but DH has always been fine with it. He has to be - his mother never changed her name!

(Actually, it was really sweet... we went to see a venue with his parents, and after, his mom pulled me aside. "...Are you changing your name?" Me: "NO." Her: "Good girl.")

It wasn't even the giant PITA that is changing your name to me. I'm in my 30s, I have a resume built up with my name, and there are NO boys in my family. It's my name, I like it, and I want our kids to have the option to use either (we are both in the arts, and could easily end up with a Known Name).

I think the two of you need to have a really deep talk about this. You are clearly not comfortable with the idea... and neither is he. So... time to dig deep.

View Quoted Comment I agree about the insusting. It’s seems like you’d be treated as a possession instead of an equal partner.

Correction: ...insisting...

I was given my Mom’s last name (closer to the end of the alphabet) when I was born since they weren’t married. It was changed once they were married. I feel that they should’ve waited until I could decide which one I wanted to use.

My parents NEVER should have been married. When my Mom’s Divorce was finalized, she quickly returned to her maiden last name and would put my last name in ( ) when I was very young to sign school📄📄.

I don't have a relationship with the paternal unit (he was asked to leave my Mom’s Funeral) so I'm definitely not attached to his last name.

I had decided on a different last name to change it to (still at the beginning of the Alphabet) but never got around to it.

I’m going to have to remind DH of the conversation that we had about this earlier this year re: NOT changing my name professionally. The plan is to change my name to first name, middle name, and his last name socially.

He is now asking when I’m going to change my name. I’m waiting until my License (almost) expires to change my license so that I’ll only pay for that once.

I do enjoy being Mrs. Bubba, but I’m still me no matter what last name I go by. All of my friends enjoy calling me by my new name as it’s a famous (Singer’s) name, just spelled differentiy.

Ever since I was little, I always assumed I would change my last name. Then we had our son before getting married and gave him his dad's last name. So I still assumed I would. It wasn't until a few months out that I realized what a big change it was. I didn't change my mind. But I did cry the day before when I was sitting with my nieces and thinking about it being the last day I would have the same last name as them and my mom and my brothers and my dad. I needed a mourning period that I never considered.
Also, changing your name is a pain in the ass. I got married 21 days ago and I am still working on it. I took two days off after the wedding, assuming I could do it all that first day. I was wrong. You have to send your paperwork back in (either you mail it or the officiant turns it in), then you have to request copies (I actually haven't needed my copies because I have gone in places, but I got them just in case). Then once you have your physical marriage certificate, you go to social security (or mail it in) and change it there. I was able to go directly to the DMV to change my license and registration, but my vehicle titles were wrong so I had to request new ones of those. I also went up to the county clerk and changed my concealed carry permit. But then I had to wait until I had my physical new SS card and license to do anything else (change my name at work, on credit cards, at insurance places, banks, etc...). Every time it seems difficult I think about whether I made the right choice. But, I love hearing it and am happy to have the same last name as my son (and huaband)!

So you are not strange for feeling any kind of way about it. Although I would let him off the hook for what he said years ago. I know I used to say I would never have kids or get married, and now I have a 2 year old and am married while thinking about the next one. Time changes your opinions. So does marriage!

I have decided that I will change my last name. I still wanted to keep my last name though because I felt it is a part of my identity and I do not want to give my identity up for my husband. I was going to hyphenate it but did not want such a long last name. I decided to just replace my middle name with my last name.

At work I plan to use my maiden name but all of my documents will be in my married name.

It is a hassle having to change everything but I wanted to take my husbands name just wanted to keep my name as well.

Shockingly my FH doesn’t care what I do about my name considering he’s so traditional. I’m hyphenating but the other way around. So I’ll be Mrs hisname-myname