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Mrs.
Super May 2019

Am i the only one who feels self conscious about wearing my ring out?

Mrs., on March 19, 2019 at 5:11 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 1 26

Let me start by saying I love my ring. I think it's absolutely gorgeous and I wouldn't ever dream of trading it for another ring or upgrading it down the line. I'm definitely not ashamed of my ring, so hopefully I can get my next thoughts across effectively.

Only a few people have seen my ring in person: my parents and sister, FH's parents, brother, grandparents, and aunt, 2 of my bridesmaids, and 2 of his groomsmen. While they all think the ring is beautiful, they still have a reaction of "wow, that's a big rock," which makes me feel self conscious like I'm flaunting it. I always feel this need to justify it by explaining it's a moissanite, not a diamond, so they don't think we dropped an outrageous amount of money on one ring. It's the same feeling I get when I'm out in public, like people might see the ring on my finger and judge or perceive me as something I'm not. I know I shouldn't care about other people's opinions, but I just get weirdly shy about my ring in public because I'm worried about attracting attention (egocentric much? hah...)

I feel like a contributing factor to this is the women I've grown up around have never worn their engagement rings or bands. My mom, grandmothers, aunts, none of them. FH's mom doesn't wear hers either because it broke and they have yet to get it replaced. I think it's a cultural thing and generational thing, which has also trickled down to my married cousins, because none of them wear an engagement ring either, just a simple band if anything.

I went off on a little tangent, so I'll bring it back to the original train of thought. Has anyone else felt self conscious about their ring, whether it's "too big" or "too small", because of societal or cultural norms, pressures, and perceptions? How do you deal with not giving a f*** about it?

26 Comments

Latest activity by Angerra, on March 20, 2019 at 7:48 AM
  • A
    Devoted September 2020
    Anna ·
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    I feel like unless you go around saying “I’m engaged” and sticking your hand out in front of people’s faces to draw attention to your ring, you are not flaunting it or being a show off. Be proud of your huge rock and no need to tell people it isn’t a diamond. It’s nobody’s business.
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  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
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    Just don’t give a f***, girl!! Even if it was a diamond, it’s nobodies place to judge you over what you or your FH spend YOUR money on.
    My mom doesn’t wear her ring either, she’s just not into jewelry much, but I love wearing my ring. Although it’s not the biggest ring out there I still wear it proudly because my FH spent a lot of time looking for a special ring! Wear it proudly.
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    I had a friend of mine, who I had not seen for months due to distance, tell me my ring was "petite" when she finally saw it. Lol it is not small. It's beautiful and my FH picked it out all by himself which was a great surprise. I didn't let it bother me because, frankly, I didn't have to strong arm my boyfriend into an engagement like her lol.
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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    Take them with a grain of salt. You'll probably never see the lady from Walmart who was eyeing your ring and having her own thoughts. You'll probably never bump into the lady from the gas station again. Wear your ring! Wear it with pride! Wear it because of what it stands for, not for what it is (big/small). I've never heard of people not wearing their engagement rings, so that's a new one to me.

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  • Fwbride
    Super July 2024
    Fwbride ·
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    Honestly sometimes I feel the same way cause my ring is big to me and what I do is I turn my ring so the diamond is on the inside of my palm and all people can see is a simple silver band. I don’t do that as often now because I’ve gotten more use to it and the engagement jitters have worn off and now I barely notice it. Well I used to barely notice it until it lost 2 diamonds while I was making my bed and had to get it fixed so now I check it like every hour to make sure all the diamonds are in place...
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  • A
    Dedicated May 2019
    Allana ·
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    I feel the same way because I'm 21 and have a yellow gold solitaire. I love it so so much but I'm self conscious because it's not in style at the moment. I've finally gotten to the point where it doesnt bother me and I think that's because I just put it on and wore it and wore it and showed it to whoever noticed until it felt normal to me. And I mean I've always loved it its totally me it just drew attention that I didnt want and it was somewhat tough. I know that sounds dumb and really simple probably too simple but just making it my norm and showing it off against my self conscious self's will has made me appreciate it and not care what anyone else thinks!
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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Thanks Anna! I need to stop consciously trying to hide it under my sleeves when I'm in public and get used to other people being able to see it. The only person I stick my hand out in front of is FH, to make him admire the great work he did. He's getting tired of me haha Smiley xd

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    VERY TRUE. Thanks Victoria! Starting today, I'll be working on just not giving a f***, because I do want to continue to wear it with my band after we get married.

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Yikes, talk about a faux pas... I think it's so great when the guy picks the ring out by himself, and it's even better when they nail your style!

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    You're totally right. I need to get back to seeing the ring as a symbol of our love and relationship rather than a piece of jewelry/materialistic possession. Thanks Mandy!

    And yeah, I have the opposite experience. I grew up without anyone wearing an engagement ring, and most not even wearing a wedding band so one of my first Google searches was "do you still wear the engagement ring after you get married?" haha.

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Yep, I've turned my ring around too! Or I tucked my hand in my pocket to hide it. It was partially because I was worried about other people judging me based on the size of my ring, but also partially because I didn't want to draw any unwanted attention to it before I got it insured. I thought these worries would go away once I got it insured, but they're still there a little. Maybe it really is just that I'm not used to it...

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    I'm glad I'm not alone with this! I've got a rose gold solitaire too Smiley smile I think solitaires are so simple but beautiful! I think another thing that contributes to my feelings is I haven't announced I'm engaged to people who aren't invited to the wedding because I don't want awkward conversation knowing they're not invited haha.

    Good for you that you were able to get over it! I think we're definitely just in our own heads about it. I mean, for sure I'm overthinking this!

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  • A
    Dedicated May 2019
    Allana ·
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    I love solitaires! I think it just takes time for us somewhat shy people... we have to get used to being engaged in general, then announcing it, and then being the center of attention and so on and so forth... it's still not my favorite thing but I have faith you will get there too! Try not to be too hard on yourself and just do what you can till you are comfortable. Smiley smile I bet yours ring is beautiful! Id love to see it! Heres mine Smiley winking
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  • A
    Dedicated May 2019
    Allana ·
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    Oops I didnt add it to my reply lol

    Am i the only one who feels self conscious about wearing my ring out? 1
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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    I could never see myself wearing a pear shaped ring (or any shape that isn't round or cushion), but I love how other people pull it off! And I hardly ever see a pear as a solitaire. It makes it look like a simple beauty (and I mean that in the best possible way). You can really see the stone without anything else trying to compete for the attention. Here's mine, cushion cut! It looks pretty white in this pic, but most other photos show it throwing off some rainbow light (a lot of the time it's blue light)

    Am i the only one who feels self conscious about wearing my ring out? 2


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  • A
    Dedicated May 2019
    Allana ·
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    That ring looks absolutely gorgeous on your hand!! I think you pull it off extremely well! That might be why it draws some attention too because you make it look so good! Smiley winking and thank you I dont look right in round solitaires funny enough lol Smiley smile
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  • Jordan
    Expert September 2019
    Jordan ·
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    I also feel self conscious about wearing mine in public because the stone is large but it’s mostly because I take public transportation a lot and don’t want to get robbed! If you love your ring, wear it with pride!
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  • Emily
    Devoted December 2021
    Emily ·
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    There are so many different varieties of engagement gemstones out there nowadays that if I saw it, I wouldn’t assume it was a diamond. However, even if people do assume that’s what it is, I wouldn’t worry about their opinions. Keep on living your worry-free engaged life!
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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Thank you!! Smiley shame Smiley heart I used to think that rounds suited everyone, but now that I've been wearing a cushion, when I put on a round stone, it looks weird to me too haha

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  • Mrs.
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. ·
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    Thank you, Jordan! Agreed, I just recently got my ring insured but before I was more conscious about trying to hide it when we walk around outside out of fear.

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