Am i crazy for this?

How many people, what would you be making, who would be responsible for keeping it at correct temperatures and serving it? While I personally can’t imagine anything I would have liked to do less than spend the day before my wedding cooking, that's personal preference. But that’s not all there is to it - you have to factor in who is going to do the work day-of. And you do not want to spend your wedding day worrying about the food, nor should your dad, who will be a VIP. Also, depending on your venue, they may not permit you to do this - some require all food to be provided by a licensed professional. I wouldn’t do it, myself.

My suggestion for an alternative is that you and your dad cook for your rehearsal dinner instead. Smaller group, not as much pressure and you won’t have a million other things to worry about, but you’ll still get to spend that time with your dad.

I would get a caterer to do it. Cooking is a fun task for many but I think you’ll expose yourself to unnecessary stress by doing it yourself (in addition to the other points raised by PP).


I bake lovely cakes and was going to bake our wedding cake but consciously decided against it knowing that if anything went wrong I would be left with few options, and because I want to enjoy the day and the lead up to it!

Like others said, I’m not sure cooking at scale, the night before the wedding will be stress relieving. I really like crafting but the entire week leading up to the wedding I wanted to scream looking at the things we needed to spray paint, glue together etc! Normally I would find it fun but under a deadline it wasn’t a relaxing activity. I would definitely build an affordable catering cost into the budget for peace of mind. If you’re looking to do more casual food I don’t think you have to necessarily be booking catering now, but I would build the cost into the budget so you can make that decision in a few months and you won’t be stressed out about the money aspect.


If you’re planning a rehearsal dinner you could prepare food for that. Or you could plan on doing something you and your dad both enjoy (not wedding related) to spend some time together before that. This might be a bit more relaxed and fun than having to focus on preparing food for all your guests.

I was so busy the day/days before my wedding I didn’t have time to sit down until after the rehearsal at the rehearsal dinner.
That last week was also super stressful with running around and last minute stuff.
Even though it’s a stress reliever I wouldn’t want the added task on my list. Also, is your dad walking down the isle? If so who’s going to finish everything day of? Heat/cook it? Serve it or set up the buffet? I wouldn’t do it, but that’s just me.

It is all about the number of people. Food for 30-40, if you know what you are doing, sure. All of your wedding things will be pretty manageable for that size wedding, and if you are very organized, great. But hire a couple of people to see to set up, serving, and cleanup. They need not be pros if you plan well. If you are talking 40-150, absolutely not. You are beyond home holiday cooking/ big cookout level numbers. The huge amount of refrigerated space for food kept overnight, getting food out to the people in proper set up and timing, it all needs a pro crew. The number of guests to greet alone, makes it too much for your wedding. We entertain both for sit down dinners, and casual buffets and cookouts, as well as anything with our big families a lot. Several former catering service/ Inn cooks/ bakery people in close family. Last year we had 2 weddings at our farm/ home, and 1 at my mom's, one at Grandmother's. For 60-130 people each. Next year have two bigger ones. But the bride and parents, no meal stuff. Big guest lists mean too many people traveling early and late, who want your attention. Vendors and deliveries. Big tent set up or whatever, if you need it. More interruptions than work time. Feeding 200 ( inc vendors, staff) for our wedding, we let an Inn do it. Several of us arrived two days early, and the day before in their commercial kitchen, did desserts. Not cake people. And let them do day of. Do a rehearsal dinner, or just a family thing. But the bigger the wedding, the more stuff gets dealt with the day before.

I think it’s very sweet you want to cook with your dad for your wedding. I can imagine since you’re more than a year out you feel very optimistic about it but i do think the emotions/stress you may feel before the wedding will probably leave you in more of a relaxing mood. How many guest will you be cooking for? If it’s more than 50 I agree with kiwiderbybride, maybe you could cook the rehearsal dinner? And let a caterer handle the food for the wedding. Cooking your own food also means serving it, monitoring it and re supplying it if it runs out or gets low. You and you dad definitely shouldn’t have to worry about any of that the day of the wedding. Just my two sense. Good luck. I’m really curious about what you will decide bc like i said i think it’s so sweet that you want to do this with your father. ❤️❤️

No, not crazy at all.


My first wedding was very large, and all of our family showed up. My grandma and I cooked the entire meal the night before, we only offered 2 buffet style choices. We had a giant George Foreman grill (the one that hold 8 to 10 standard sized burgers) and we grilled chicken which we put in a simple sauce (base was cream of chicken soup). Also had rigatoni. Roasted red skin potatoes, green beans, garden salad, rolls and butter. I also made my own wedding cake. It was oreo cheesecake, enough for everyone. I did it "no bake" so it wouldn't take as long.
I wouldn't trade a single second of that time I had with my grandmother. We spent the whole day cooking and talking.
If it's what you want, do it. No one else's opinion matters. Just because they wouldn't take on such a challenge, doesn't mean it is insurmountable. You've got this. ❤

I definitely wouldn't recommend cooking your food for your wedding. This adds a ton of extra stress and the last thing you want is to be totally stressed out the nkff before your wedding. It also is a sanitary risk and with the pandemic going on sanitary risks should be avoided. Also, the food would need to be reheated and served so who would you have do that? You, your dad and other guests should be able to relax rather than stress about food for your wedding. I would definitely hire a caterer.

The day before my wedding we took decor over to the venue, the ladies got their nails done, we had the rehearsal and dinner - and I still felt pressed for time at points. Weddings are stressful. I would NOT have wanted to be worrying about having the food ready, keeping things are temperature, and serving for my wedding. Additionally, you're going to end up spending the time before your wedding (on your wedding day) to make sure the food is set up/kept at temperature - or at least have to coordinate it being done - instead of getting ready/relaxing/etc. It's just better for your stress level to hire catering.

Maybe instead of cooking for the wedding you and your dad could cook for the rehearsal dinner?

I'd say it depends on how many people you're trying to feed. Since we're having around 20, I haven't argued with my FH when he insisted he's making the food. If it's small, and it's something you want to do I think it would be a great memory with your dad!

It really depends on your guest count, if you're having more than 100 guests I would recommend getting a caterer, but if you have a small guest count of around 60 people, I think it's pretty doable to cook for them. However, I would urge you to at least hire servers to clean up the food and such.

I’m all about hiring wedding professionals to do the job. Although cooking might be a stress reliever for you, that isn’t something you want to be bothered with on the day before your wedding. It’s not an insignificant task like arranging favors, which aren’t a big deal. But if you have food issues, that can be a wedding disaster!

Maybe plan a menu where you can do lots of prep work even farther ahead, like a week or whatnot. Or even get part of the meal catered and prepare part of it yourself. Some places let you rent dishes and they take them back and wash them (for an extra fee) to save you that hassle as well. Lots of options. I think the memory of having a special night cooking with your dad will be treasured. I'm sure you and your dad can be creative in preparing something together without putting too much pressure on yourselves.

The ONLY last minute prep/assembly item daughter planned for the week of the wedding was assembling the favors midday on the day of the rehearsal (48 hours before the wedding). It was definitely easy enough. FOB picked 24 dozen freshly made large chocolate chip cookies from the bakery at 10 am, and daughter and I had until about 2 pm to put two each into cellophane bags we purchased, seal the bags with tape, and put their wedding-logoed stickers on each bag. That was it -- easy-peasy, right? Oh, my goodness that was the most stressful 3.5 hours in the last month of her wedding planning. It was POURING, so we had to dry off all the cookie containers as her dad brought them into the house. 240 cookies, that you are trying hard not to break, take up a LOT of counter, floor, table space. Daughter was, understandably, super distracted. Her phone was blowing up with both important and completely pointless texts and messages all afternoon, we had extended family calling because instead of just looking at the invitation they figured it was better to call and ask us for the rehearsal dinner restaurant address, we needed to figure out when and how we were all going to eat lunch with cookie favors covering every surface in the kitchen, etc., etc, etc. When we were finally done, everything had to be boxed up and taken back out to the car in the pouring rain, so we could leave them at the venue that afternoon when we were there for the rehearsal. I LOVE my daughter and we are extremely close, but I was kind of ready to kill her during those 3.5 hours -- it was NOT a great bonding moment. In hindsight, the ONLY thing we would have done differently with her entire beautiful, perfect wedding, was not do favors that had to be assembled at the last minute. I would strongly discourage a bride from attempting to take on something as big and potentially stressful as cooking her wedding meal.... Hire a caterer, it will be the best money you spend for the wedding. PS daughter and I generally love doing crafts, so we thought, "oh, assembling the favors will be easy and fun!" It was not.... Good luck!

View Quoted Comment This is so the encouragement that I needed! Thank you.

View Quoted Comment I’m still leaning more towards cooking it all with my father. I guess I should have clarified a little better, but my Dad runs a catering business. Instead of having employees make the food we would be making it. It’s just jambalaya, great beans, and rolls with some veggie and fruit trays. I’ve helped him cook for larger events than my wedding will be just us as well, but I knew that there is a lot of stress that happens upon brides the week of the wedding and especially the night before the wedding. I think so far we’re going to plan a back up budget to possibly hire outside people, and then still cook it ourselves.

View Quoted Comment How many, including guests, WP, you?

It sounds like a lot of work and the day before a wedding i would rather the bride try to relax

I think it would be way too much work and stress for you and your dad. The day before our wedding we were so busy running around getting last minute stuff done! Then we had our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and spent the evening with friends and family. Also then who would be responsible for reheating it and serving it and making sure it’s at a safe temperature at the wedding? Plus with all the covid stuff, I would think your guests would probably feel safer knowing a trained restaurant staff was responsible for the sanitation, etc.



I’d look into an inexpensive catering option, maybe a local restaurant (Mexican and Italian tend to be the least expensive). With that, you may end up not even spending much more than you’d spend on ingredients to cook yourself.

These forums are almost exclusively against cooking for your own wedding. However, it's a personal decision. All the reasons for not doing it can be true for a lot of people, but if it's something you really want to do and know how to do, go for it!