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Jennifer
Dedicated October 2020

Am i being silly?

Jennifer , on July 4, 2020 at 8:13 AM

Posted in Planning 28

Usually the first thing people ask is how did he proposed! Well, technically he hasn't. We sat down and talked about marriage and decided we would get married and picked a date. The wedding is 10/10 and we just picked out and purchased a ring two months ago. It definitely feels real but I haven't...
Usually the first thing people ask is how did he proposed! Well, technically he hasn't. We sat down and talked about marriage and decided we would get married and picked a date. The wedding is 10/10 and we just picked out and purchased a ring two months ago. It definitely feels real but I haven't wanted to wear a ring without the "ask". He's not super romantic and we are running out of time. He has said he wanted it to be a surprise but it's hard to do since I know about the ring. So do I just give up my dream of the romantic ask and wear the ring? Idk....this is both of our 2nd marriages and I just want it to be perfect as can be. The pandemic hasn't made things easy.

28 Comments

  • B
    Dedicated April 2021
    Bridget ·
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    My fiance is the same way. We have talked about marriage for years, and I mean years! We have been together since we were 17. After 19 years and 4 kids we decided it's time to stop putting it off on both our accounts. To us it's almost like we have been married this whole time. So we picked my ring together. But I really wanted the whole proposal too. If I didnt tell him that he never would have known to do it. So he got on his knee in front of everyone and asked me to marry him. Wasnt the most romantic thing but I got my proposal. I would suggest bringing it up to him some men are oblivious to what we want and need to be told lol
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  • Audrey
    Savvy October 2020
    Audrey ·
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    So my situation was really similar to yours! We had been Talking about and planning our wedding since the end of March; our date is 10-17-2020. I knew he was going to propose and he'd even told me when he bought the ring haha. But he didn't tell me when he picked it up and he still was able to surprise me when he proposed and it was absolutely perfect! I felt like we were running out of time, too, as he just proposed June 13th, but I really do think it was perfect and it is OUR story and it fits us 💕 keep patient--if he knows it's important to you and values your feelings, he will do his best!
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  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
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    I would say at this point he has just accepted that you and he are getting married so he probably doesn't think about it much anymore. OR maybe he is intentionally making you think he has let it go so he can still find a way to surprise you.

    I am a bit different than everyone else. See I have been married before and it ended badly. When the FH and I met I basically threatened his life is he ever asked me to marry him Smiley laugh . He didn't!! While he had hinted about it I never really mentioned or acted like I was interested in marriage.

    Then on night before his 32nd birthday I flew us to Washington DC. It worked out perfectly because when we stepped off the plane it was midnight and my present to him was DC and a proposal. Once we arrived at the hotel my heart SUNK! See, I had worked out a proposal for him. I made the reservations and spoke with the manager of guest relations at our hotel to have the mirror in our room done up with my proposal to him. The manager moved us up to a suite and added champagne for us to celebrate.
    However, the lady that checked us in thought that I said something about not wanting the "special room" and she moved us to another room. I panicked and ended up showing him the email of my request to the manager and he just stood there mouth open. He didn't say anything and I responded with "oh God, you're really going to make me ask aren't you?" With a big fat smile he just waited. I didn't get on a knee, but I stuttered through asking him "SO basically, I am asking you if you wanna marry me, do you, I mean will you marry me?" HAHAHA

    It was nothing like I had planned out which is actually perfect for us. That just goes with how everything we plan out ends up. We call the hiccups in our plans "adventures" so we always make the best of them.

    I hope he does propose soon but if he doesn't maybe you canSmiley heart


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  • Jaclyn
    Dedicated December 2021
    Jaclyn ·
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    I'm late on this I know but I just wanted to say that I don't think you're being silly. I got engaged kind of similar to you. We have been together for 9 years and we waited a long time because we both wanted him to finish school and get a job. Which he did last year. So I told him "I am not waiting another year to marry you!" and he just said "i know" lol and we talked, set the date, picked out our rings together and that's that. Of course this wasn't my dream proposal (or lack there of) and every woman fantasizes about the romantic/perfect moment. but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. You found someone who loves you and wants to spend forever with you..that's special in of its own. =)

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  • Danielle
    Expert November 2020
    Danielle ·
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    You could plan to ask him romantically perhaps. show him how it's done. lol

    or talk to him about your feelings and that you feel you are missing that part and you would like him to plan something. Just let him know what you expect so he isn't nervous of doing this big thing.

    Honestly it is great you are both on the same page and think things through together. not everything about a marriage is romantic and that is okay too.

    I think some people are kind of out of sorts due to this whole COVID thing too. Let's make 2020 a good year though with our plans. Maybe instead of asking maybe you two can just plan something fun together to call it an "engagement" some kind of adventure together than you enjoy and wear the ring after that activity.

    You can do what is best for you though and we don't have to all do things the same. Marriages are all different.

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  • Danielle
    Expert November 2020
    Danielle ·
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    I agree with Jaclyn

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  • FAWN
    Dedicated October 2020
    FAWN ·
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    My fiance mom dropped off a ring he had her get while she was at a store... i was working on a car. no makeup hair in a bun... i had grease black hands, and he didnt really ask he just said her is your ring. and put it on my greasy fingers in the garage. And right there i asked are we getting married??? he said i guess so

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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    No! Don't give up on what you want. Express to him how you feel and that you want to actually be proposed to, even if it's something small, simple and intimate. My husband and I had actually picked a date and venue before getting engaged too. He found out he was going to be deploying and we knew we wanted to get married (we had been together 8 years at that point) so we chose a venue and set a date. He proposed shortly after that. You can certainly still have the engagement, even though you know you're getting married and helped pick the ring. I would just be candid with him so he knows how you feel.

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