Am i being petty?

Yes, I think it would be petty if you planned on inviting them before this. Just because they're being rude doesn't mean you have to do the same.

Edit: since they're your FH's friends does he still want to invite them? Because this is more up to him at this point than up to you.

I agree with all of this. These friends definitely should have included you, as your future spouse's significant other, on their invitation. But they didn't, and it isn't in your best interest to hold that against them forever. I would do whatever you can to get past this, since they are your FS's "very close friends."

They are definitely in the wrong by not including you with your partner. That being said, one bad turn does not deserve another, so be the bigger person. Also, at the end of the day, it is not your decision alone to make, and I imagine if they are close friends of your FH, he may want them there. If you hold on to your anger about it for over a year (which again, I agree they should have invited you), you are really only punishing yourself. Maybe there is a way for your FH to gently explore with them why you weren't included?

Yes it is petty. Just because they don’t know or care about etiquette doesn’t give you a free pass to punish them. Since they are his close friends, it’s up to fiancé to decide if they will be invited.

Since you guys have so long before the wedding, you don't have to make a final decision now. If you know that it's either that couple or some cousins then the number of people is the same, you'll just need to know names later on. I'd say keep them in mind and explore this more the closer it gets to when you guys need to send STDs.

In the meantime, do your best to try and move past it. It's totally understandable that you're hurt, that was rude of them, but if they are close to your FH then it's not worth ruining the relationship if he still wants to be good friends with them. It may also be good to let him take the lead on this and see where it goes. If he's comfortable asking why you weren't invited, he can. If he's not and he would just prefer not to go then that's cool too.

I addressed a few save the dates to people I was only friends with, however their significant others are invited and will be addressed on the invitation. Do you think this could be the case? Or have they said that you're not invited?

Can your fiancé just ask if he's allowed to have a plus one? Maybe it wasn't intentional.

Agree with the others.

You should be included on the invite, absolutely. Being left off could easily be unintentional, as it sounds like things have become more serious since the STDs went out and I could see how a couple could easily overlook a "status" change of one of their guests when they are trying to keep track of 225 people. I would encourage your FH to reach out to the engaged couple and clarify whether or not you are invited to their wedding, reminding them that you are engaged and live together and a serious, committed couple.

Regardless of the outcome, not inviting them because they didn't include you is a bit petty if you would have included them otherwise. Even though I would personally be less offended if you and your FH were not included at all (rather than inviting one of you and not the other), I do think you need to set aside your invitation status to their weddings when considering whether or not to invite them to yours. Wedding invitations are not tit-for-tat. You should invite the people who you want there, celebrating with you, and that decision should not be made based on who is going to buy you the best gifts, who is going to invite you to their wedding, etc. Its a decision for you and your FH to make together about who is on the guest list.

It's really really rude of them not to include you in the invitation. I'm really hoping it was an oversight. Your FH should definitely ask if they meant to invite you too. If they didn't I'd re-think that friendship. It's not petty, it's basic manners. They're disrespecting you if they purposely left you out. How can they invite your husband to celebrate their union while ignoring your relationship? Keep us posted. Again I really hope it was an oversight.

I definitely think you should see if your FH can bring up the topic with them nicely. I think a lot of people don't know or follow proper STD etiquette and it really might have just been an oversight on their end. I find myself constantly having to update my address list to include new significant others and new married names and I have definitely missed a few by accident.

I hope the problem is easily solved and it was just an oversight. If not, I agree with PPs that not inviting them is a little petty, but ultimately its you and your FH's decision and if you would rather invite the cousins, that's understandable.

They are being rude, and no it's not petty. I feel like everyone saying be the bigger person is missing the big picture. Close friends would have been considerate. MY rule of thumb is, if the person you are inviting has been with someone for over a year, we've met them, and/or it's their spouse, they're invited. At the end of the day, they wouldn't want the same thing done to them. Don't invite them to yours, don't go to theirs. Years from now, when you're not even hanging out with them, you'll always ask yourself, why did I pay for them to be at my wedding?