Hey all!
I am MOH in a friends wedding. We have known each other for about 15 years. Her wedding is next month and the Bachelorette party is next week (not fully planned out which is another story - tried planning nearly 5 months ago and everyone was AWOL to a degree). I learned about some car repairs that need to be done on my vehicle (I'm not sure of the cost, but it will be a few hundred dollar) and and on the fence as to whether or not I can attend this party. It is a day-2 day trip in nearby state. While I have not backed out of the party completely, I am stressed trying to figure out the best solution. You see, with my job, I travel to nearby counties and work with individuals there, so I am always on the highway to some capacity each week. Hence why neglecting getting my vehicle fixed would cause me a huge setback for me. I made the mistake of telling the bride about this woe and initially she sounded like she understood, but then hours later was pissed and told me how disappointed she was in me and to "step it up and be there". I also told a bridesmaid of my car problem, just to see if she could help me figure out other solutions that wouldn't ruin anything. She sounded passive-aggressive and made it sound like I was a horrible person for not putting the bride first. Which makes me think everyone knows and is talking trash about me. Mind you, no matter what, I was going to help cover the costs of the Bachelorette party, give gifts, etc. I even purchased something nice for the bride-to-be. I'm at the 80% mark of dismissing my repairs to go even though I'd be very stressed, because I don't want the bride to hate me even further, but don't know
I also learned that the other bridesmaids know about someone else attending the bachelorette party. Which I'm not upset about, just confused as to why if I was planning the party to begin with, I was not informed as that would have been a huge problem in way of transportation and hotel cost. I brought up my initial shock in a text with the other bridesmaids and they dismissed/ignored and took over planning.
Am I a horrible MOH for wanting to fix my vehicle (I physically cannot work without it) and not go on a day-2 day trip, but still pitch in financially and gift-wise? I am still attending the wedding (venue is also in a different city, so I'd have to travel).
Thanks for any advice
