Altercation with Unstable Wedding Guest?!?

The reaction is completely out of proportion and not acceptable. I'd just stay away from her as much as possible and enjoy everyone else.
She's clearly having a jealous reaction to everyone getting married except her, I feel bad for the man she's dating. Just bizarre, desprate, and sad.
I'll agree it doesn't make sense to have engaged people do bouquet/garter toss but it's really not that important to get such violent reaction. Eyeroll at the MOST.

Oh my goodness! What childish bratty behavior. I don’t blame you regarding not wanting her there. Hopefully, she won’t attend your wedding. Out of curiosity did you still go up for the toss and did you catch it? Does FH and the groomsman know about this?

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I agree, it seemed immature and almost a bit scary seeing it happen. I didn't want to let myself be pushed around by her, but I also just wanted to diffuse the situation! And actually after all that drama, there wasn't even a bouquet toss! LOL

The groomsman was sitting right beside her as it was happening and just stared straight forward and never said a word. I told my FH about it and he seemed very shocked and troubled by that as well.

Wow what a PSYCHO! was your FH or her bf present for her behavior?! that is extremely alarming! in the beginning I thought maybe she was 18 or somthing but 34?! jeez. I am sorry you have to deal with that and I agree with PP I would try to avoid her at all costs. ufortunately I feel like since she is a groomsmans gf you might be stuck having to let her attend but maybe tell your BM's to make sure they don't let her close to you on your big day!

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Yes, i think bizarre is how i felt about the whole situation. I know in the past I've heard FH's friends comment that she really wants to get married. Which I can understand, but I feel like threatened to attack a person over a bouquet toss maybe shows that she needs to have a serious conversation with her SO and talk about her issues with their relationship.

In all the weddings I've ever attended the DJ has always said "All of the unmarried ladies come out on the dance floor" and engaged people were included so I didn't think anything of it! It's really just a fun silly tradition that I didn't think would hurt to participate in so that kind of hateful reaction was disturbing to me.

View Quoted Comment Hmmmm...groomsman only looking forward and not saying anything? Probably because he knows she is crazy. She may even have threatened him at some point. If she will act that way with you and barely knowing you she is doing it with him more regularly.

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I knew one of the other groomsmen really disliked her and I always said I was confused because she seemed nice. Now I think I get it. The guy is a very nice guy who goes around saving things. For example, someone dumped a dog by a dumpster at his work and he rescued him and has had him for 8 years. He's a guy that likes saving things and caring for those that need it and I wonder if that has anything to do with their relationship?

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Her BF was sitting at the table as well and just stared straight forward and didn't say anything. Yes, it seems like something a child might do--much more concerning when it's an adult.

I plan to try to avoid her and already told one BM about it. Hopefully there won't be an issue.

She sounds insane. Especially for a grown woman. I’m glad that there wasn’t a bouquet toss for her to get all bent out of shape about. I’m sure she would be the one to tackle anyone trying to get it. If I were you, I wouldn’t do one either to not give her the satisfaction of attempting to catch it.

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Unfortunately I would be so sad to not get to do one and let her ruin that for me, so maybe I'll try to throw the opposite direction of her? LOL Yes she just came across so shockingly violent about it!

Okay, that was super bizarre.... It's not like it ACTUALLY matter who catches the bouquet! (Does she think her catching one is what's going to seal-the-deal and make her boyfriend propose???) While I agree with the pp who said she'd probably roll her eyes at you for insisting on participating, the level she took the conversation to was completely bizarre. I also agree that unless your FH's GM breaks up with her, because she does sound like a hot mess, I don't think you can uninvite her to your wedding. However, I would give the bartenders, DOC, and any venue security a heads up about her potential for inappropriate behavior and ask them to keep an eye on her, and intervene at the first sign she's losing control. Finally, if you get the sense she's going to make trouble during your bouquet toss, but you can't imagine not doing one, I might do the thing where you do the whole set up, like you're actually going to toss, but then at the last second turn around and go hand it to a close friend or relative you want to honor. It's a shame a grown woman has taken something so simple and innocent, and made it a little scary. One of the sweetest things to watch in daughter's video is when two of the young women standing for the bouquet toss moved the 8 yr old flower girl to the front of the group, pretty much ensuring that SHE would catch the bouquet! Her face was PRICELESS and the photos with the bride are the sweetest thing ever! The little girl's mom said she didn't put that bouquet down, including on the cross country flight home the next day, until it was literally disintegrating in her hands. Good luck!

She's 34 and acting like that?? My goodness. She is obviously unstable to throw a hissy fit over a bouquet toss like that. I agree with you, don't let her take away the bouquet toss from you if she comes! If anything look at where everyone is standing and throw it that way, or if she is not in the front, make it a short throw so the ladies in the front (i.e. your bridesmaids, if you give them a heads up beforehand) have a better chance to scoop it up!

To be honest, I would have a frank discussion with her boyfriend and let him know that while she is invited, this kind of behavior (especially the creepy e-guest post) will not be tolerated, and if she wants to behave like that, you would prefer she didn't come (tag team with FH on this since it is his groomsman).

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Right it feels like she's projected a lot of her unhappiness at not getting engaged onto this bouquet toss. I think letting the DJ and bartender be on the lookout is a good idea. And I had figured a little girl might get the bouquet. We will have a lot of them and they always seem the most spry! Honestly kids get it most of the time anyway and I think that's cute!

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It felt very unstable for sure. I really don't want to let her take that away from me either! I might have to short it a little for sure.

I don't know the boyfriend well, but I might see if my FH feels like mentioning that that behavior was not acceptable. I think I'm probably going to have to invite her, but at least having it be said that people know how she acted and it won't be tolerated at our wedding might cut it back.

I actually feel bad for her (her behavior was definitely uncalled for and childish - and a bit scary with physical assault), but I think it goes back to how much she wants to be engaged/married with her BF and that he is not ready to make that commitment.

I would tell the DOC & bartender about her, make sure that they limit her drinks, as another wedding might make her even more unstable.

Another thought that I would probably do would be to buy her own flowers for the toss flowers. It seems like she really sees it as something, and perhaps throwing her a bone will help her. You can get cheap rose bouquet at places like Hobby Lobby.

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For sure!! I hope it all works out! Worst case if she catches it is to hope the photographers gets an unflattering picture lol!!

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I feel sorry for her, in that she must be deeply unhappy with her life.

That being said, I just don't think I could bring myself to go out of my way to pander to a person who thought it was okay to threaten to hurt me while she was having a tantrum.

She's nuts and needs to go!

Maybe for your wedding you can do the married couples dance and give your bouquet to the couple married the longest. That would really burn her bottom and avoid any potential fights and injuries.

I agree about FH having a very serious conversation with the GM/BF. She said things and made threats that were SERIOUSLY inappropriate -- regardless of them being alcohol- or jealousy-fueled. I'd ask FH to make it clear to his friend/GM, man-to-man, that he finds what she said incredibly disturbing and inappropriate -- and, even more so, that GM/BF didn't say or do anything to stop her. Out of FH's "respect" for GM, he can tell him he can still bring her, but that he's responsible for making sure NOTHING like that happens at your wedding, and, if it does, she will immediately be removed from the premises. The fact that GM just sat there is almost more disturbing. Again, good luck!

Does she think the bouquet brings magical powers? It's an old wives tale and a fun game at a wedding. She needs to chill out.

Do the bouquet toss at your wedding, but simply hand it off to a deserving friend instead.